( I Have No ) Marley and Me

Alright,yes - I saw " Marley and Me " over the weekend. Mr Gil came wandering in after being out for the morning and my sister had just started the DVD, so we all sat down to watch it. It was a pretty good movie i suppose - it was your typical feelgood, fluffy, chick type of flick, but this post is less about the movie ( and how Jennifer Aniston will always be so perfectly thin, even after having three theoretical children )..... and more about how i want a dog.

I mean, that was the basis of the story right ? Its called " Marley and Me ", not " My Wife and Me " or " My Love/Hate Affair with My Job and Me ". And Marley, for those of you not in the know, is the dog in the story. A quiet giant golden retriever dog. Who happens to be completely mental and not even close to trainable ( until the babies start coming and he settles down in his old age ). And all of his mishaps and misadventures only make him more loveable. I'm sure that if this were not a Hollywood movie and actual real life, you might get sick of a dog like Marley in his puppy stages. But its all part of the fun right?

I cant wait to have a dog again. Dogs are the greatest, arent they ? Even when theyre the chew-everything-in-sight, jump-on-your-lap-at-any-opportunity, dig-your-lawn-to-pieces type of dog, theyre still so much to have around. They love unconditionally, so even when you completely ruin that fancy meal you wanted to cook for your special someone, your other, furrier, special someone will lap it up like its came Gordon Ramsays own skillet. They promote exercise, and snuggles and afternoons in the park. And even though they smell bad and they expect you to clean up their crap, they only have to give you that cute " puppy-dog eyes " look and your heart melts for them.

Only five more weeks until i move into my new place, where the landlord happens to me - which, happily, means dogs are allowed. I'm tossing up between a Staffordshire Bull Terrier and a Whippet.... oh, decisions, decisions!

No, I Have Not Fallen Into A Black Hole

How neglectful i have been. I have posted for a little while but i wanted to take a little time to let you all know that i'm still alive. And that i've been well. Just a little distracted. By who or by what i wont say right now. In time, in time my loyal readers ( if your still there ).

For now, i dont actually have a topic to post about, although i wish i did. I've felt like writing the past few days but havent had much to say, beyond what i have just promised to say yet. Confusing?

What i will say is that the conflict of the last two posts has been ( mostly ) resolved. Its nice to be back to the somewhat normal, instead of wondering where i stand with people. Its also comforting to know that its the strength of my loyalty and friendship that helped calm the storm. Its nice to know i'm that kind of person.

So, in an effort to ease the pain of writers block - you got anything you want me to blog about ? Any questions you want answered or mysteries you want solved ? Leave me a comment!

Its A Toss Of A Coin Really.

And the award for " If You Only Knew " goes to....

The high school friend who responded to my Facebook update - "Amy Wells is holding onto the thought that there are still plenty of people who love and support her "- by saying she hopes i am ok because she loves me.

Why ? Because she's the same person who told me to get fucked in response to the Facebook status update posted by my friend ( as detailed here ).

Ah Facebook, how you amuse me.....

When You Assume You Make An Ass...

... out of " u " and me. Or so the saying goes. It should be " When you assume, you hurt peoples feelings. And thats not nice". See, i have divulged something to a friend of mine via tex message. This was something very personal and confidential, and something that i thought would be hard ( on my part ) to say over the phone. It has everything to do with me, my life and my feelings, and really has nothing to do with her other than the fact that i wanted her to know.

This was on Thursday. She has not spoken to me since, except a one line answer to my email, pleading for her to get back to me. She has, however, updated her Facebook status to :
" Blah Blahdeeblah ... has never been so hurt, upset or angry about a single text message in her life :) " .... or something to that effect. And of course her Facebook friends, however well they actually know her in real life, have responded to this status update.

The hurtful thing is, even though she did not actually divulge what i told her and i am thankful for that, all these friends are saying she should tell me ( the person who sent such a text message ) to get fucked; that she should forget about me; that i must be a huge bitch; are calling me cowardly; or are offering to have words with me on her behalf.

Don't assume people! These people are assuming i have insulted her or in some other way said something horrible ABOUT her. This is, obviously not the case. It is not what was said that has upset her, but as i understand it from her one line missive, but rather how the message was delivered. I suppose i can understand that - a phone call would have been more personal. However, seeing as this news is entirely about me and how i'm feeling, i think its a little bit of a selfish reaction. This friend has reacted based on what SHE wanted, not on what I am comfortable with.

I can understand her being upset and im fine with that ( kind of. Not really. I'm upset but she wont care about that if i tell her ). But if she is any kind of friend, perhaps she could do me a favour and correct all those Facebook friends who are villifying me unfairly?

I Do What ?!?

I am a blanket hog.

Yes, thats right ladies and gentleman, I have been made aware that i am, in fact, a blanket hog. I am one of these people who steals the sheets in the middle of the night and leaves their bed mate shivering in the cold. In the inevitable rock and rolling of sleep, i somehow manage to pull all the bedclothes onto my side and leave my partner naked bar their pyjamas ( if, indeed, they are wearing any ). I'm a douche - right ?

Yep, Mr Gil lovingly informed me one morning this weekend that i had contributed to his chances of catching pnuemonia by hogging all the blankets on the bed we were sharing and leaving him lying their freezing. I was horrified and, rightfully so, apologetic -i'd had no idea i do that! Have i always done it? Why hasnt anyone ever told me before ?Admittedly, i do love to be all snuggly when i sleep in colder weather, but since when am i blanky-selfish?

Mr Gil said it was fine because being curled up against me was keeping him warm enough ( my bountiful booty must produce a lot of heat during the night that i'm not aware of... ) but i still felt terrible. No-one likes a blanket hog - or at least i dont. However, i suppose we cant be held fully responsible for the things we do when we're asleep. At least i'm not up trashing the house in a sleepwalking trance, or snoring loud enough to wake the nighbours ( right? Im not doing that am i ? ). Those things would be worse. At least Mr Gil can steal the blankets back if he yanks them hard enough - you cant wake a sleep walker for fear of them injuring themselves, and sometimes the only respite from a snorer is to squeeze their nostrils together, stopping their breathing ( risk of death anyone ? ).

So, my apologies to Mr Gil, and my apologies to any other man i've ever shared a bed with.
I know not what i do....