Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Two Down, One To Go...

Holy guacamole..... another Christmas over. I have to admit that Christmas this year was a little strange at my house, what with us expecting a new baby to the family and all. With my brother and his wife expecting their second child on Christmas Eve, we couldnt really make any concrete plans for Christmas Day, just in case she happened to be in hospital. For the record, my impending neice/nephew did NOT arrive for Christmas and still hasnt arrived. I'm thinking he/she must be pretty stubborn ( like their father... ) because they've kept us waiting a week overdue now. My sister-in-law has now said it doesnt matter when the baby comes out, he/she will be grounded until they are 16 because so far they have refused to do as they've been told - that is, being born a week early. Kids these days, they just have no respect....

So, anyhoo, aside from the expected baby not exactly playing by the rules, my holiday break happened to be pretty good. I got a gorgeous little Guess watch, a new yoga mat and a great dessert cookbook ( amongst other things ) and, in part due to the fact my 18 year old sister still insists on opening presents at 6-freaking-am, i managed to fit in an awesome nap during the afternoon. The Christmas afternoon nap is a great Christmas tradition - it pretty much goes that you eat yourself to near-explosion at lunch and then settle in for a well earned sleep naround 3pm. Of course, this probably only works when there are no small children to be looked after, so i'm making the most of my Christmas naps while i can.

Boxing Day was pretty good this year too. For those not in the know, Boxing Day is the day after Christmas, and is a designated public holiday here in Australia. Its also the day where the Christmas stress is done with and you can now actually relax, lie around, watch the start of the annual Boxing Day cricket Test, and have bbq's with your friends as opposed to celebrating with your family. Which is exactly what i did. I was invited, via Facebook page, to a cocktail party/BBQ by a friend of mine from high school. She and her three brothers all live in other cities now, and seeing as they would all be home for Christmas they decided they should host a party at their parents place. Freaking great idea! I hadnt seen this girl for years, so it was great to be able to sit and chat with her again. A handful of my other old schoolmates turned up, so it was like a mini drunken shcool reunion of sorts. I was pretty merry when i arrived home - I had forgotten my keys so I had to knock on my parents bedroom so they could let me in. I think i remember crawling into bed next to my mum and raving on like a madwoman for a few minutes before my father very gently reminded me that this wasnt my bed - and promptly kicked me out. No hangover in the morning though so yay for me!

And that be about it really. Its New Years Eve tomorrow and i intend on hitting one of the local pubs with my friend Ree and my cousin B - which could turn out quite the adventure. Both Ree and B are known for their spontaneity so we may start at our local but.... we could end up in Sydney. Who freaking knows ?

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Jingle Bell Time, What A Swell Time....

.... to do a Christmas survey! Thats right, I've decided Christmas Eve would be the perfect time to present my personal Christmas beliefs and traditions. I'm not going to make it a meme, but if you so desire, feel free to do your own list ( on your own blog, not mine. Hijacking my blog would just be rude ).

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? I'm a warpping paper kind of girl. Unless its something odd shaped like, like a botle of wine or a childs toy, I'm totally into wrapping. And doing it neatly - there's nothing worse than recieving a gift that looks like its been mangled by a three year old that couldnt get the sticky tape undone.
2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial. I know some of you people i going to be aghast at that, but there arent too many people around here ( my part of Australia i mean ) that have a real pine tree. First off, they arent as abundant here as other parts of the world, and secondly.... its really freaking hot here at Christmas, so the poor trees tend to wither up and die quiet quickly. I appreciate the Emo aesthetic, but i dont want a dead Christmas tree.
3. When do you put up the tree? On, or around, the 1st of December. We all know that its just plain bad luck to put it up anytime sooner, and if you leave it too late you may aswell not even bother.

4. When do you take the tree down? This one isnt as definate. I try and do it sometime around New Years Day, but usually I end up going " Nah, it can wait til tomorrow " and by then we're half way through January, its almost my birthday, and my decorations just look sad and misplaced.
5. Angel on the tree top or star ? I'm a star person. Angels are cute and all, rather lovely in their way, but stars are way more glittery and glam. Plus, I dont like to think of mythological creatures having harsh pine trees stuck up their bottoms - its just not dignified really, is it ?
6. When do you start shopping for Christmas ? Inspiration usually hits me around mid-November. I'm not averse to buying something earlier, if I see something that I know a particular person would love. I'm usually all done by early December. I dont understand these people who leave their Christmas shopping til the last minute. I mean I love shopping, and i actually like the feeling of being part of a crowd - what i'm not so fond of is stalking people to their cars in the hopes of getting a carspot, of finding that perfect item i was after is all sold out, or waiting in line for what seems like hours to get to the cashier.
7. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning ? Christmas morning. I dont know anyone in real life who opens them Christmas Eve. I'd always seen that on American movies and wondered if it were an American thing - but then i spent a Christmas with my US host family and we opened presents Christmas morning too. Correct me if i'm wrong but - no-one actualy opens their Christmas Eve, do they ?
8. Favourite gift received as a child? Its a toss up. One year i got two Cabbage Patch Dolls ( it has to have been '88 or '89 ), one named Agatha and one named Muriel. I loved those dolls. I wasnt too keen on those names but you cant just change a name on an official adoption certificate can you ? The other choice would be the year i reached into my Santa bag and pulled out some clothes for a Ken doll - not that i had a Ken doll- and then the next thing i know, i reach in.... i pulled out a Ken doll! Woo hoo - Barbie and Ken together at last!
9. Worst Christmas gift you ever received ? My grandmother gave me some stuff for my glory box one year. I appreciate that she was trying to stock me up for when i moved out ( although, in her mind, it was for when i get married.... ) but it was some horrible, ugly, second hand floral bed sheets and a tea towel with this ugly applique thing on it. Just for the record - i know they're clean, but i dont DO second hand sheets.
10. Mail or email Christmas cards? I'd usually say both but this year i have been really slack and not gotten around to writing out Christmas cards. I sent one off to my host family in the US, but everybody else is getting either an email or a hearty " Merry Christmas !!! " from me in person.
12. Favourite Christmas Movie? I can't narrow it down to just one. I'd like to nominate " Santa Clause " with Dudley Moore, " A Muppet Christmas Carol " with , well, The Muppets and " Bad Santa " with Billy Bob Thornton as my top 3. " Santa Clause " was my favourite when i was little - those candy canes that made kids float were so cool! - , i think i've watched " A Muppet Christmas Carol " every year for at least 6 years and I only discovered " Bad Santa " last year, but its freaking hilarious!
13. Favourite Christmas song ? I'm going to admit it - I'm not a big fan of Christmas carols. I'm quite partial to " Jingle Bells! Batman smells! Robin laid an egg! " but aside from that, I couldnt name one Christmas song i truly love. If pressed, i'd probably go with " Rock Around The Christmas Tree " which i remember being on the Partridge Family Christmas Album that my mum had when we were little.
14. Favourite thing to eat at Christmas? Prawns! Cheesecake! The christmas icecream that i make with almonds, cherries, cranberries, coconut and brandy! Ok, lets just say food - Christmas makes everything taste better.
15. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Its a tie between Christmas merchandise being in stores in September and annoying ads for Christmas food clubs. Seriously, Christmas is best without the over kill.

Monday, December 22, 2008

An " Its Almost Christmas ! " Weekend By The Numbers

500 - amount in dollars that I got as a Christmas bonus from my company. They may suck most other times of the year, but boy do they give good bonus...

10 - number of people who attended our work Christmas bbq. This included two children. Yes, i work in a small office.

55 - time it takes in minutes for my famous Apricot with Macadamia Crust cheesecake to bake. I made one for the bbq. Mmm....cheesecake.

1 - number of bottles of champagne i managed to drank on my own at said bbq. Cheap champagne too. Its the best kind.

87 - amount in dollars that I spent on presents. For myself. Using some of that Christmas bonus money. Who can resist pre-Christmas sales on open toe wedges ?

4 - approximate number of hours spent watching the Country Music Channel over the course of the weekend. I enjoy country music, its what i was brought with up. Garth Brooks, Tim McGraw, Reba McEntire ( the unrivalled queen ... ) - all of that type of stuff.

6 - approximate number of websites i trawled whilst researching what type of dog i want to get you know when i finally move into my duplex. I'm thinking i want a whippet.

Whippet - Whip it good!

1 - number of books I finished reading. It only took me a week to get through " Pride and Prejudice " ( by Jane Austen, but you knew that ). Loved the Keira Knightley movie, and thought it was about time i got around to reading the classic. I thoroughly recommend it. Plus, I totally want to be Elizabeth Bennet - she rocks.

35 - approximate number of minutes dancing in our living room with my 3 year old neice. And I am not ashamed to admit, it was exhausting. If we were at the pub, I would have had to have had at least one drinks break in that time. Me neice is some kind of crazy dancing fool!

10 - approximate number of minutes my neice spent screaming and crying after she got smashed in the knee by a bike pedal ( long story ). Apparently it was my fault.

Ooh, and lucky last....

3 - number of sleeps til Christmas. Bring on the Fat Red Man i say!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

You Can't Seriously Be Serious ? O.M.G....

So the funniest/weirdest thing ever happened today. I have a client who comes in every few months and gets me to tighten up his spectacle frames, realign them, replaces the screws .... all the type of stuff you cant do without your own glasses on. He's a nice bloke, always has a little joke and says please and thankyou - all in all, he;s one of my good customers. So he comes in today and i do the usual thing but when i went down the front to give him his glasses back, he takes me aside and asks me what time i'm having lunch. Say what now ? He says he has something sensitive he would like to ask me about, and he doesnt want the other women in the office too overhear. Alright, i told him what time my lunch usually is, and he says he'll come back.

My colleague and i had two immediate thoughts - either he's going to ask me out or he wants to kidnap me and chop me up into little pieces. I'm not sure which i would prefer - he might be nice but he's old so i'm not keen on going out with him ( i was preparing my best Elizabeth Bennett refusal speech ), but if he kidnaps me at least i get some time off work. So my lunch time rolls around and my curiousity is almost killing me ( although J is still convinced that i'm going to be kidnapped and tells me to keep my mobile phone handy ). I meet my client out the front and he starts to get all nervous and bumbly. " Umm, i know this must seems strange, i'm not really sure how to say this.... " Inside, I'm going - Oh. Crap.

And then - do you remember Average Joe ? Turns out that my client is a good friend of Joe, considers himself like a surrogate dad type of figure, and, well, umm, just that young Joe must have been talking about me and was apparently more than a little disappointed when we didnt go out for a second time. You're joking right ? Inside i couldnt help but smile and how sweet my client was trying to be. He told me he wasnt trying to interfere, that i didnt need to go into details or anything, just that the poor guy was wondering what he did wrong. " You know, if there were no sparks, then were no sparks! If he said something wrong and you think he's a dickhead, then tell him he's a dickhead! Just tell him why - the poor young bloke is wondering what he did to upset you and is a bit disappointed, because he liked you and wanted to see you again ". Well bless this mans little socks for telling me so - like he said, he was just looking out for his friend, he and he always thought i was a " good bird ", so maybe i could contact Joe and let him know what happened ? So i smiled, and told him that i would send Joe an email, which i fully intend to do. I always did, i just couldnt think of how to word it, but now i feel extra bad because it seems like Joe must have really taken a shine to me.

After work, my sister and I went to get some take out, and i'm relating this whole odd little story back to her. She looked at me and laughed and said, " You know, i was going to try and set you up once.... " Say what now ? Oh yea - my bright spark of sister thought it would be a great idea to set me up with Banky McHands. Not that she even knows Banky McHands. No, her plan was to just track him down at the bank where he worked and describe me to him, and then just plain old tell him i thought he was hot. I can say with, like, 95% certainty, that had she done that i would have been forced to punch her in the forehead. How embarrassing would that have been ? I wouldnt have known anything about it, until the next time i went to the bank and he gave me this odd look, like i had leprosy or something, and gently explained that i was far too old for him. Seriously, if my sister had done that i think i would have been mortified to death.

But thats not all. On my sisters 18th birthday, she went out to dinner with her friends and, because her boyfriend wasnt in town, her boyfriends best friend went to keep her company. Aww, what a sweetheart you say ? Well, yea. YoungBoysBest Friend ( or YBBF as he shall now be known ) had come up to our duplex when my sister and i were flatmates, and after i had cooked everyone dinner, YBBF took my empty plate to the sink and volunteered to take the garbage out. Aww, what a sweet young man. Sure. So when on my sisters birthday my best friend P and I finally caught up with her, and my sister mentioned that YBBF had come to be her " date ", we all went - Aww, what a sweetie. When sister got up to get a drink, P goes " You should totally put YBBF on lay-by ! ". Thats lay-away for you American people. And why would i have to do that, do you ask ? Because YBBF is only 16 years old! And i mean he's only just turned 16, so that makes him almost 9 full years younger than me. And not only did P suggest this, but when i was telling my sister this story tonight she tells me that she and her boyfriend had already discussed this. Oh.My.God. My best friend, my 18 year old sister and her 15 year old boyfriend have all decided that I would be great with a 16 year old boy - who apparently, would "totally like to tackle " me. Which is 15 year old boyfriend speak for " The 16 year old guy wants to do your sister ". Oh. My. God.

A 16 year old boy ( who is quite sweet, and you know he's going to totally good looking and attractive when IS eventually legal ) wants to tackle me. That is just wrong. Flattering, but wrong. Right ? I just cant believe that all these people are so concerned about my almost-non-existent lovelife....

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sweet Baby Jesus, Save Me

Yes, i know i'm not religious and I dont actually really believe in God, but in the spirit of Baby Jesus's birthday I am praying that he can save me from the horrid Christmas cd my boss has insisted on playing the last two days. Let me just give you this:

Seriously. See, one of our clients is an Elvis impersonator and he's made some crappy cds of himself singing various Christmas carols. Being the dutiful client-pleasing lady that she is, my fellow manager has decided that we should at least try listening to it. Because my desk is closest to the cd player, I have the supreme pleasure of hearing it all day long, even if i dont want to. I mean, I like Elvis and I like Christmas, but Fake Elvis sucks chocolate, salty , Christmas balls ( a cd of Chef from South Park singing Christmas carols would be way cooler! ). He's one of these Elvis imitators that thinks sounding like the King means you have to slur all your words to the point of incomprehensibility. Plus, he's chosen all the boring, slow paced Christmas songs, so the entire CD sounds like one monotonous drone.

Sweet Baby Jesus - please deliver me from this evil. By some miracle, please return the Partridge Family Christmas Album that my mother played when i was a child ( at least those kids were boppy ). I beg of you to please find some divine way of sending me a Harry Connick Jnr album full of smooth, jazzy Christmas cheer. I will even take one of those generic " hey, all the cool popstars love Christmas !! " albums, featuring Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera and Ricky Martin ( who really oughta be singing " Feliz Navidad " ). Anything would be better than Fake Elvis.


P.S I also pray that this mock prayer does not offend any of your loyal followers. If they were me, they'd be praying to be rid of Fake Elvis too.

Amen again.

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Friday Nights Alright for Flirting

So my friend Ree invited me up to her place for cocktails last night. Sweet, something to do on a Friday night so I was glad to be invited. Now, my friend Ree is kind of a reformed wild girl - she's a few years older than me, she has three sons and after her husband passed away she went of the rails a little. But she's one of these people who have an infectious enthusiasm for life, so its great to see she's seetled back down somewhat, but has still maintained her " you're only as young as you feel " views. I'm kind of proud of her for that actually - Lord knows it cant be easy trying to raise three children on your own after losing your husband, whilst still keeping a part of your life for yourself. My point is, whenever Ree gets the chance to have some fun, she does the fun up right. So what if some of the people who said they were coming didnt turn up ? Those of us who were there had us some pink champagne cocktails and a big, girly chatfest ( you know, clothes, shoes, sex.... all the good stuff ). After a few hours of drinking at her house, we decided going out to the pub would be a good idea, it being a Friday night after all. Ace!

She had told me earlier that the very casual dress code for the cocktails was " classy " so i chose to wear my darkest pair of trouser-cut jeans, a crisp cotton cami, tan open-toe stacked heels and a cute necklace. I didnt scrub up too badly for a girl who didnt have a lot of time to plan her outfit, and i was glad i was able to pull that outfit together because I would have felt a little out of place at the pub if i had just worn jeans and a t-shirt. The point of all this talk of my appearance is - I was not expecting in the least to pick up. Thats right folks, i said " pick up ". Who knew that a woman dressed like a lady could get a guys attention ahead of girls dressed as skanks ?

I dont mean that to sound crude, but i like to have a little decorum, a little class in the way i dress and speak and present myself ( on most occasions ), so it came as a suprise to find myself getting a little special attention on the dancefloor, ahead of the girls wearing mini skirts and tops that they could potentially fall out of. He was cute - not much taller than me ( but hey, short guys need loving too ), had the build of a football player and some sexy stubble going on. The fact that he was dancing up against me with his hand on my hip was enough - this girl was sold. I'm ashamed to say, but i didnt actually catch his name - he did tell me but its that noisy on the dancefloor that i couldnt quite make it out. Brendan? Nathan ? Benjamin ? Something like that..... This did not, however, stop me from spending some good, quality time with my lips glued to his, and getting a slight case of pash rash. Yes, sometimes, I am THAT girl, the one who is bumping into you and your friends because she's too busy kissing random cute dudes. Oh, and while i'm busy feeding you all ( ok, most of ... ) the juicy details, as best as i can figure out Mystery Stubble Guy is probably 20 years old at the most. Yes, that now makes me a cougar.

Don't judge me! I gave MSG my number, I had a freaking great night, and isnt every girl allowed her " i was a little tipsy, plus it WAS really noisy " indescretions?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

There goes the neighbourhood....

So you know how I said the horizon had been defeated ? Well, it had been. But, as with the real world, their has been the dawning of a new day - and its sunny and warm people, sunny and warm! For all of you who are lost ( which is, i think, probably all of you... ) let me explain. I put on offer on some property - different property to that which was previously mentioned ..... and it was accepted! Once the solicitors have drawn up the papers and everything has been signed, I will officially own real estate! I never thought i'd be this excited about something like this, but I have to admit it does feel awesomely cool ( and incredibly grown up ). So once everything is official, I will be the proud owner of a modern, two bedroom duplex. Two bedrooms with built in wardrobes, a bathroom with bath, shower and toilet, kitchen, laundry, living and dining rooms and a single garage. I have a few plans for it already - I'd like to render the interior brick wall and paint it over, and knock out one of the kitchen walls to make the living area much more open plan. Oooh, and do some painting. And, because it has a fairly decent sized backyard, I can finally get a dog! The only thing is that the current owners would like to keep living in it until April - theyre building a new home which wont be ready til then. So, rather than turf them out in the street, we've decided that i will buy the property and lease it back to them until theyre new home is ready. So even though i wont be moving in til the end of April - isnt this all exciting ?

So, until April i plan on saving a little extra money, watching a lot of the Lifestyle channel ( Thom Felecia is going to be my new best friend ), reading a lot of interior design magazines and trolling Ebay for cute, funky furniture to replace my boring stuff. If anyone has any cool decorating tips or ideas they wanna share, leave a message after the beep*.......


Sunday, December 7, 2008

I am the Blackbird - koo koo ka-chu!

Okay, before you all think I've gone completely mental and mixed up my Beatles lyrics, let me explain. Firstly, yes, i know that I am the Eggman, you are the Eggmen and I am the Walrus, koo koo ka-chu. This is not the point. What is the point is I was listening to the soundtrack to " Across the Universe " while i drove a little ways out of town to visit a friend and I'm singing along to " Blackbird " and do you know what i realised ? That song is about me - I am the blackbird ( koo koo ka-chu! koo koo ka-chu! Sorry, couldnt help it... ). You know what I mean, like when you're listening to a song and then all of a sudden the lyrics just become so overwhelmingly profound, like John and Paul forsaw the future and are actually trying to send me a personal message ? Witness :

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free

Don't you see ? Blackbird taking broken wings and learning to fly = me breaking free of depression and crap and moving on with my life. Its genius! Ah, The Beatles save the day again....

Not the day really needed to be saved - i was having a great day as it was. I finally saw " Australia " and let me tell you - fantabulous. Sure, I might be just a tad biased - because i live here and i'm almost completely in love with Hugh Jackman and Baz Luhrman is my second favourite director - but it really was great movie. It was epic on the scale of, say, " Giant " or " Gone With The Wind " but i dont think its on the same " classic " level. I can see what Baz was aiming for but he misses by this much. ( Which is to say , like, this <...> much ). The cinematography was superb, as expected - the shots of the Australian landscape are gorgeous, the use of colour is strikingly simple, and the costumes are perfect ( god, how Hugh Jackman looks so delicious IN clothes... ). Mr Jackman does a good job and brings this beautiful raw charisma to the Drover, but Nicole Kidman is a slight let down. I do not care how much she tries to deny it, the womans face is pumped full of plastic. She smiles, there are no smile lines; she frowns, her brow does not furrow. The real suprise packet though is the child who plays Nullah ( Brandon Walters i believe his name is ). He has a beautiful expressive face and he seems so authentic in his role - i suppose in part to his upbringing in a remote community. I am telling you, any of you who have read negative reviews on this film, especially those of you in the States, please give this film a shot.

The best part of my day though was the visit to my friend, Mrs N. Now Mrs N is a woman who was, for lack of a beter description, a teachers aid at my primary school. I should say is, because she still works there after 20 years. I have never asked her old she actually is ( that would just be rude, wouldnt it ? ) but she would have to be in her late 70's , if not older. The thing is, Mrs N gets me. She is the easiest person to talk to and she is never anything but gracious, kind and non-judgemental. In lieu of the relationships i DON'T have with my grandparents, Mrs N is like a surrogate grandmother to me, and its a relationship i very much appreciate. She indulges me intellectually too. It is so wonderful to be able to spend a few hours with someone, to be able to discuss so many topics and ideas and issues and have someone understand and appreciate what you're saying. Its an incredible boost to divulge your most personal demons to someone and still have them say they love you, admire you and are inspired by you. I feel like everyone should have someone like Mrs N in their lives.

I told her about my smile challenge, but what I didnt tell her is that spending the afternoon in her ramshackle little cottage was the biggest smile I'd had all week...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Horizon Has Been Defeated

For now.

So, I put in an offer on a property today .... and it was turned down. I put in a deliberatly low bid ( thats the way you play these thngs after all.... ) but still it was a little disheartening to be knocked back. But no worries, i plan on putting in another, slightly higher offer tomorrow. Of course, I've never actually tried to buy a house before so I'm not entirely sure of the processes of house hunting, but what i do know is i like the house i inspected today. It's relatively small - two bedrooms, but its still a whole tonne bigger than most shoebox apartments in major cities. Its also 58 years old, but its been nicely refurbished on the inside so i'd barely have to spend a dollar on improvements if didnt want to. So I guess all is not lost - i still have another chance and if that offer gets turned down i have a few more thousand dollars to play with before i have to admit Game Over. Wish me luck ?

And you know what gives you luck ? Or rather, what pays you back in awesomely good karma ? Giving to charity, thats what. Which is exactly what i did today - I donated some canned goods and new toys to my companys annual Christmas appeal. Each Christmas we try and gather small donations to give to a local charity and this year nobody had given anything yet. So i decided to set a good example and get the ball rolling by using the spare cash i had in my wallet to buy some non-perishable food and two small toys. I opted for a Barbie doll for the girls ( i always a Barbie kind of girl, as opposed to playing with "baby" dolls ) and a Transformers action figure for the boys. I, of course, made sure to get an Optimus Prime because everybody knows Optimus Prime was the bomb ( followed closely by Jazz ). Hopefully seeing our basket now has something in it will encourage others to give aswell. I'm not going to mention what the donation cost me but suffice to say it was probably more than some families can afford to spend for themselves. So now i get the good karma of having done a good deed, a satsifying good feeling and some family somewhere gets a little bit of a brighter Christmas. And isnt Christmas the season of giving ?

Oh, and in case you didnt read between the lines there, this is me now actively, officially and very obviously asking you to give something - time, money, food, toys, whatever - to someone in need this Christmas. Charity should be a year round activity, but if your only going to be proactively charitable once a year, why not make it during the holidays?

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

A Long Weekend by The NUmbers, Plus an Update on the Smile Challenge

So technically it wasnt a long weekend here in Australia - that is, we didnt have an official public holiday or anything. However, seeing as I had both Friday and Monday off, I had my own long weekend. Thus, you get the stats from four days rather than two. Aren't you people lucky ?

4 - numbers of days I had off. I said that already, didnt i ?

10 - amount in dollars that Tradie lunch cost on Friday. Make that a $20 Tradie lunch, because i bought lunch for my auntie as a birthday treat. My 7 month old cousin ate tiny Vegemite sandwiches from a cup.

5 - number of open houses i intended on inspecting on Saturday morning.

2 - number of those open house inspections that actually went ahead. The other three were cancelled: two because of the weather and one because it had been sold.

40 - approximate number of minutes i spent driving around to get to and from these cancelled open houses. What a waste of petrol.

2 - number of naps I managed to fit in over the course of Saturday afternoon/evening. It was one of those rainy, stay-indoors-and-do-nothing kind of days. Somehow i manage to fall asleep easily when it comes to naps, but i lie awake for what seems like forever at night...

87 - approximate number of minutes my mother spent farting around looking at shoes and pretty tops on Sunday morning. Don't get me wrong - I looooooooooooove shopping - but my mother is the most frusturating shopper on earth.

1000 - approximate ( and slightly embellished ) number of jumps my neice did, in a row, on the trampoline at our house. Seriously. We had a barbecue on Sunday night and after she finished eating she was bouncing on that thing for like an hour straight. I dont know how she didnt bounce her little brain to death.

1 - number of Christmas's ruined by my neice. Yep, seems like the three year old can't keep a secret.: " Hey, Aunty Amy - we bought you a yoga mat! ". This prompted her mother to, mockingly, tell her she'd ruined Xmas. " Yea? Well you cant look at me anymore ". Cue (still ) bouncing, now with her back to us.

60 - number minutes of spent getting a facial. Ah, the pampering....

170 000 - amount in dollars i can realistically borrow to buy my first home. My modest first home.

180 000 - amount in dollars i could afford to offer, as a maximum, on a property. A modest property.

6 - number of seperate tests they need to run to try and figure out why i'm so low in iron. I'll let you guess for yourself what kind of tests they may, or may not be.

3 - number of days i need to be on a exclusion diet to run some of those tests. Woo hoo - no broccoli!

10 - number of minutes i spent lying on the floor after i almost passed out at the gym. OMG - so embarrassing. Apparently you should not push yourself so hard on your first day back at the gym after being sick.

And so, onto the smile challenge update. Granted, i havent been keeping a regualr blog list of each and every thing that has made me smile the last week or so but, believe me, I am taking notice. And its working - think my colleagues are starting to think i've gone even more mental. Just, you know, in the opposite direction. And, for each negative thing that happens, i've been able to find a positive and much better side to focus on. For example, no, I wont be able to borrow enough money to build a new home ( boo hoo hoo, disappointment ). However, now that i know my budget and range, I'm looking forward to seeing what i can find and figuring out what i can do with it ( i've been watching a lot of the Lifestyle channel lately. I love Thom Felicia! ). Or so it was rainy and three open houses got cancelled ( wasting my time and petrol - poo to that! )? Yea, well it gave me a whole bucnh of time to catch up with a friend who lives a few houses up my street. She's almost 32 (totally old according to her ....) she has three kids, and she went flying off the rails when her husband died three years ago, but she's getting back to a good place. She's wonderfully funny and irrevent and because of all her derailing at various times in her life, she has great advice sometimes.

A total plus huh ?

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Getting To Know Me- Its An Epic

You people know i love a meme or two so, in the spirit of particpation, I've decided to take part in Andy's " Getting to Know You Week ". And, in the vein of Andy's most recent post ( involving what may or may not have been a ghostly car chase ) I've decided to tell you all about a small part of my trip to Peru. The spooky part. Sure, the story is not from my childhood, but is from my past which is an integral part of getting to know me, so i'm going to assume Andy wont mind me slightly bending the rules. One or two of you may have heard this story before - for those of you who havent, hold onto your seats....

For those of you who are not up on your geography or world heritage sites, that is Machu Picchu, an ancient Inca city built into the Andes mountains. You may recognise it from Lonely PLanet guidebooks, National Geographic calendars or any of the 1001 travel shows being broadcast around the globe. It is, undeniably, a popular tourist destination - and the best way to get there ? On foot. Yes - foot: a four day trek through the Andes, starting at an outpost known as KM88 and finishing at Machu Picchu ( hopefully at either sunrise or sunset, if you time it right ... ). So that's we're i'll start my story - on the Inca Trail, on the 2nd day of the trek.
I'm not going to lie - the Inca Trail is no easy slog. Its not like i was some kind of ultra-fit, athletic superwoman . I was a slightly-larger-than-I-am-now trekking novice who'd never done anything at altitude before. But it promised to be the adventure of a lifetime, and who was i to turn that down ( even if it did feel like my lungs were going to explode ) ? Just making it into camp on the first day - accompanied by my all-male encouragement troupe, 3 guys i'd only known a few days before who insisted that singing " Eye of the Tiger " would motivate us up the mountain - was a Godsend. Day two promised to be harder. By mid mornng we would be ( slowly, painfully ) making our way to Warminwayusca, or Dead Womans Pass. This pass is 4500m above sea level and, as the highest point on the trek, is considered the toughest part of the journey. With the whole group having reached the summit, we stopped for a snack and a photo opportunity. It was from here that everything went downhill- both literally and figuratively.

My boys, after the trek - i believe they had moved onto Spice Girls songs by then
When our guide said it was time to pack ourselves up and get on the move, i tired sitting up but i felt all lightheaded and lethargic - it was like all the energy had been completely drained out of my body. I took a minute and tired to gather myself together but, when i looked a little wobbly on my feet, my guide and one of the other guys volunteered to walk at the back with me. Within a half an our, not only was i wobbly on my feet but i could barely seem to lift my arms - rather than walking with my walking sick, i was dragging it behind me in the dirt. My trekking buddy, Lachlan, said he'd carry my pack for me and my guide Jugo supported me on one side. I'd been drinking water and we'd only just eaten, so i should have all the energy in the world, but within another half hour, my vision had gone blurry and i was now being supported on both sides. I wasnt so much as walking, as being slowly dragged up the mountain side by an ex-Army recruit and a small Incan man. Mind you, all the guides are trained in first aid and a nurse in our group mentioned she thought i might be dehydrated or could possibly have altitude sickness.

And so we stopped. Jugo radioed ahead for one of the porters to come back with some blankets and he sat me down on a very comfy rock on the side of the trail. He gave me me water and put me on an oxygen tank for 20 minutes. He also made me inhale some foul smelling yuck, which apprently alleviates the symptoms of altitude sickness. All of that and - nada. I could barely breath, by this time could barely see, and felt like both my arms and legs were being weighed down by concrete. To be quite honest, i wuld have been perfectly happy to curl up on that there rock and die. Obviously, leaving me to die on a barren hillside isnt wasnt exactly part of Jugo's job description so... they carried me. Yes, you read that right - Jugo, Lachlan and Alejandro, the young guide who came back with the blankets, carried me. On their backs, They tied me on with the blankets, just like Peruvian women do with their babies.Hell, they even ran! Lachlan was a big guy, but Jugo and Alejandro were typically short, small, Incan men, and they ran with my whole 60kg/150lb of weight on their backs. I was slipping in and out of conscious - the only thing i do clealy remember is catching up to the rest of our group and Jugo telling them they had to get me immediately to camp.
Which is where i woke up. I woke up with Jugo leaning over me, stroking my head, telling me i was going to be okay, not to worry, he was sending someone into see me. Yep, no worries - zzzzzzzzz. Next thing i know there is a " Hola, senorita ? Hola ? " at the opening to my tent and in comes this really old guy. Here comes the cool part - he props my head up and starts muttering, kind of chanting, in the local Incan language. I was already almost completely out of it, too far gone to make any objection to what he was doing anyway. So the old guy keeps up the muttering and then he lights up something a bowl until it starts smoking. Once he had his smoke going, he blew it all over me: directly into my face, over the top of my head, down the front of my shirt, everywhere. He rubbed whatever he'd crushed up in his bowl over my face and arms, finished up with his chanting, said " Buenos noches, senorita ", and disappeared. Two of my female trekking companions them came in and helped me put on more clothing layers and then - blackness. I passed out or fell asleep for a while and then rested very fitfully ( i;d say slept, but i dont think i really did ) for the rest of the night.
Morning comes and .... i feel awesome. I wake up feeling great, go out and eat breakfast with everyone - albeit while copping some very strange looks from my trek buddies. Everyone wants to know how i feel and Jugo takes me aside to make sure i'm feeling okay. And that was it, we set off for the day. No-one rally talks much about the day before, except to say that i looked terrible, all limp like a rag doll and one of our older members thought i might have been dead. No-one bothers to tell me what may or may not have been wrong with me, but it didnt really matter because i was doing fine. It wasnt until our first snack break that anyone decided to let me in on what went on the previous night. So, take a deep breath people, here it comes : I WAS POSSESSED. Don't re-red that to see if it makes more sense, it wont. Apparently, whilst i had been laid up in my tent, delirious, Jugo had taken everyone else aside and told them what was going to happen, because he didnt want them to think i was being taken advantage of or anything. He, and the other porters - all Peruvian indian men - thought i had been taken over by a mountain spirit, spirits that the Incan people believed kept guard over their trail. The elderly gentleman, who turned out to be one of our porters, was also a kind of Incan medecine man, was going to go in an perform some kind of exorcism ritual, and expel whatever spirit it was that had taken me over.
And there you have it - when all the scientific medecines didnt work, when i only continued to get worse, it was decided that i must have been possessed and only pagan magic could save me. And you know what ? It did. The oxygen, the foul smelling inhalant, the water and pills, none of that worked but the chanting and the smoke blowing had me feeling as fresh as a daisy. Not only did i not struggle with the rest of the trek, but i was the second person to make it to the gateway to Machu Pichhu. It was like i'd been suddenly blessed or something. When we had finished our tek and met back up in town with our other tour guide, Jonathon, he told me in full what had gone on. He said he had only heard of two other women in 15 years of leading tours who had got so sick, so suddenly, and in the same spot on the trek ( straight after Dead Womans Pass ), and the same smoke blowing, chanting, praying-whatever worked on them too. You can believe what you want but, having lived the experience and being of a hippie-dippie spiritual mind anyway, i'm like 95% sure something otherworldly happened to me up there.
Either way, it sure beats the hell out of most peoples vacation stories....

Monday, November 24, 2008

My weekend by the numbers: a recap

1 - number of fetes i attended. A fete is pretty much a country fair for all you non-Aussies. I took my neice because i knew she would appreciate the jumping castle and face painting.

4 - times i ate fast food over the course of three days. A serious blow out. The next thing to be blown out ? My stomach.

1 - number of doctors bills paid. Yep, the bill from my wisdom teeth removal.

670 - amount in dollars that it cost to have those teeth removed.

3 - display homes visit. For anyone wondering what a display home is, its a fully built replica of a home you can have built for yourself. I'm kind of thinking of building one, you see - if i can afford it.

245 000 - amount in dollars of the cheapest house and land package being offered in my town right now. Maybe i cant afford it.... but we'll see.

24 000 - amount in dollars the Australian government is offering as a first home buyers grant. Sure helps a bit with that affordability thing....

1 - number of handbags i bought myself. White, textured, Fiorelli tote. Not a Birkin bag by any means, but cute, classy and functional.

3 - number of days i saw my neice this weekend. Yep, that would be every day.

2 - number of days i saw my 7 month old cousin this weekend. Apparently, it was a weekend for the kiddies.

And there you have it. Look forward to next weekends recap - I've taken the Friday and Monday off work because, well, i havent had any actual holidays this year and i figure i deserve a long weekend. The forthcoming recap may or may not involve one or more the following: facials, $10 Tradie Lunch, " Australia ", visits by new reps, trips to the mortgage broker, old houses, new houses, broken hearts and children. Guess which ones i'm looking forward to ?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Is that a challenge ? Double dog dare me ?

Five weeks til Christmas - can you believe that? 35 days to go until the Big Red Man comes and i get to stuff my face with prawns and Christmas icecream ( yes, you read it right - i make Christmas icecream ). And, knowing that there is only 35 days til my Christmas, our branch manager decided today was the day to put all the Christmas decorations in our store. Of course, everyone knows that you risk certain and eternal Christmas bad luck by decorating before December 1st ( yes, this means you too Andy and Capricorn ), but she insisted today was the day. Seriously, you've never seen an office covered in so much Christmas kitsch. It was cute and fun and cheery today, but i 'm guessing by the end of, lets see, next week, its going to be nauseating.

Anyhoo, like i said, decorating the office was quite a cheerful experience for the day, which got me to thinking - why dont i concentrate more often on the cheerful stuff ? Sure, when the big stuff happens - like birthdays or parties or exciting experiences - i'm all about the cheer; but I dont readily acknowledge the everyday things that make me smile and keep me from spending the day with my head under my bed covers. And so, in the spirit of the season i have decided to conduct an experiment - everyday up to and including Christmas Day, I am going find one thing that makes me smile. And, furthermore, I am going to let things slide - dont sweat the small stuff, you know ? Seems to me, after years of having listened to Oprah say it over and over ( hey, so maybe i dont pick things up so easily... call me stupid ) that actively focusing on being happy will..... make you HAPPY. Who woulda thunk it ?

In kicking off the challenge, here is the list of things that made me smile/smirk/giggle/cack my pants with laughter today :
* The radio playing " Run to the Water " by Live on my way to work - i love that song!
* A young girl coming in with her mum to look at sunglasses - she had the most gorgeous curly hair.
* Selling sunglasses - i just really enjoyed the customers today.
* The amount of Santa ornaments my manager has accumulated over the years - its like a Santa City in my dispensary right now!
* A bumper sticker that said " Nurses - We Can't Live Without Them " - thats it. No joke, no punchline. Just nurses are so under-appreciated. Big cyber hugs for the nurses out there...
*Andy and Ben's co-blog - laugh at loud funny.
*Chit chatting with J during work - when we werent busy with customers, we were busy being fools. Laughing makes the day go quicker, thats for sure.
* Eating gooey caramel-ly icecream for dessert - can you say yum ?

Which brings me to now. I'm currently texting back and forth with P while we watch " The Amazing Race " and after that , it'll almost be time for bed. Add one more to the list - sleeping always makes me happy.....

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Are your teeth still sick ?

I really, really, hate throwing up. I have no idea how bulimics do it - i hate the spasms, the sore throat and the lingering feeling of nausea. Lets face it, throwing up is just not pleasant. Neither is knowing that the three kinds of medications you're on are the cause of the nausea, so in order to keep yourself free of bacteria and infection and whatever else, you have to walk around in a constant state of feeling sea-sick.

Oh, yea - guess who i'm talking about ?

But i'm back to work tomorrow. I'm not particularly looking forward to it - because i dont particularly fancy sitting at my desk with my stomach in a knot - especially seeing as i have to go in early for a conference call. During which everyone will ask how i'm feeling and i'll have to grit my teeth and go " Yea, i'm doing fine ", rather than admit i'd prefer to be at home asleep. The doctor did give me a week off, so technically i dont have to be going back, but i kind of feel bad leaving J a little in the lurch. Plus, its J's birthday tomorrow and i have her present in my handbag - i dont want to have poor J working on her lonesome on her birthday. How depressing!

Speaking of birthdays, it was my adorable little neices birthday today. She turned the big number 3 ( or " I'm this many " as she'd say, holding up three fingers.... ) and she got one of the best presents any child could ask for - a trampoline! She's really excited now that she has her own. We have one here at " Poppy's " house, but now she has one in her own backyard she can bounce away to her little hearts content. She was also impressed with the cute little shirt dress i bought her, and the cd player one of her other aunties bought ( " Its for moozik! Mum, its a moozik thing! " ). Kudos to my sister-in-law for the cute little cupcakes she made.

And now, on to tomorrow. Or at least, on with the show of trying to keep my stomach from turning inside out....

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Post-Op Hiatus

And they're outta here! My wisdom teeth, that is. Its day two post-op and, suprisingly, the pain isnt as bad as i thought it would be. I was expecting some pretty sharp pain, but with the pain killers i'm on its a bearable dull ache and a little stiffness in the jaw. But hey, just means i get to eat jelly and icecream for a day or two, while i chew gum in between meals to exercise my jaw. The only other thing that is proving a little unpleasant is the taste in my mouth - stop me if this is an overshare, but there is no bleeding anymore but because there are still open wounds in my mouth, and a fair amount of bacteria, i get to be swallowing a lot of funky yuck.

On the upside, i get to lie around and do a bit of napping for the next day or two. The antibiotics and pain killers i'm on make me a little drowsy, so i have the perfect excuse to fall asleep on the couch. I'm also using my sick days to watch some movies and crappy reality tv - what a better way to spend my hiatus from work ? I've just finished watching " Superbad " which, sadly, was not as good as i thought it would be. I've also got " Freedomland ", " Tristan and Isolde " and " Zodiac " left to watch, so we'll see how they turn out. Perhaps i'll even do up a review or two.

Actually, i used to do that a lot. Back before the birth of MySpace and Facebook, there was a little site called Bolt. I loved Bolt - i had a tagbook on my page, where i could post questions and anyone else on teh site could answer, and i was a member of a film forum. Every month, my fellow film buffs and i would post a list of the films we'd watched and what rating we had given them. I suppose to some people we seemed like a bunch of film snobs, but it was really refreshing to be able to disect a film with like-minded people. I even had an official Top 10 Films of all time, but i havent updated that for quite a while.

Maybe thats something i'll start up again. Anyone interested in joing me ?

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Free at last, free at last...

No, this is not a post in relation to either Martin Luther King or his recent incarnation, Barack Obama ( my belated congratulations by the way ). No, this is about something far more serious...

It's on like Donkey Kong people! Tomorrow, at 1:30pm, I am finally getting the bastard wisdom teeth taken out. I'm booked in for day surgery to have the two bottom teeth removed and, although i'm a little apprehensive - lets face it I am, after all, having surgery - I'm looking forward to not having pain every three or four weeks. That being said, it has grown strangely comfortable having a constant, dull, ache in my jaw every few weeks or go. Even though its been extremely irritating, I've grown used to it.

But make no mistake - I will get unused to it! I'll endeavour to try and make an entry post-op while i'm still groggy from the anaesthetic, or while i'm high on painkillers. It could make for some interestin reading......

Monday, November 10, 2008

Monday Madness

Todays post is brought to you by the letter M - Mondays, madness, mayhem and mirth. Ah, Mondays, oh how you amuse me.

* You guys remember how my my damned wisdom teeth have been growing in and causing me a pain in the arse ( alright, a pain in the jaw, but you get it.... ) ? Yea, well i was supposed to have an appointment with the dental surgeon on Wednesday at 6pm and this morning i get a call from his secretary. My appointment is now at 8:20am on Friday morning. 8:20am ? Poo to that! Who wants to get up extra early to go to the dentist, before work ? Plus, dont they know how much these teeth are annoying me - i'm this close to taking a pair of optical pliers from my work set and ripping them out myself.

* I love my workmate, J. She's older than I am but we have the same kind of sense of humour and we get on like a house on fire. What i also love about her is that she, like me, sometimes does ridiculous stuff and all we can do is laugh. Like for today example. We sell sunglases in my practice, and all sunglasses are locked away in a glass cabinet so nobody can steal them ( i mean, unless we leave the cabinet unlocked and thats just asking for trouble really ). Anyhoo, today J locked the keys to this glass cabinet - inside the cabinet. Yes, thats right, when showing a pair of sunnies to a customer she placed the keys on the bottom shelf of the cabinet, presumably so she could pick them up when she was done and put them back in the draw. But no, J finished the sale, got distracted by a phone call and then realised she hadnt locked the cabinet, so she slides the door shut and presses the lock closed. It was only about 15 minutes later, when we had another prospective customer, that she realised her mistake. What a laugh ! And whats even funnier ? Yes, we have a spare key - on the same key chain. Idiots ? Yes, indeed.

* I ran into RNG this afternoon on my way to the post office. Perhaps he doesnt deserve the tag Really Nice Guy after showing little interest since my decision to move back in with my parents ( or perhaps he is a RNG who just doesnt fancy hanging out with his chicks family so much). Anyhoo, I hadnt heard from him in a while and i'd sent him text only yesterday just to see what he was doing, so it was kin dof strange just to run into him out of the blue like that. He looked good. Thankfully, however, i wasnt looking too shabby for 4pm on a Monday afternoon. I mean, my work uniform isnt the most impressive outfit in the world, but i was having a great hair day and i didnt have anything on my face, so yay for me. The last thing you want when running into a guy you had one or two dates with is for him to take a look at you and go " See, thats why i didnt call back". No, a lady wants to make a " Damn - i gave THAT up ? " kind of impression.

* I have been officially rejected. By the blood bank. Donating blood is my thing, its my community contribution, and I've been banned from giving any for the next 6 months. Why ? Because i am apparently too low in iron at the moment, so they give you a mandatory 6 month rest period to get your iron levels back up. Poo to that! So it looks like i better be eating some more steaks and less chicken. On the upside, this would make for a great time to get another tattoo - i already have to sit out 6 months, why not 6 months more ?

Okay, so reading back over that, i guess it wasnt exactly " madness ", more like " maddening ". But hey, that word still starts with M so i'm completely on track. Tomorrow - Tuesday. Officially the most non-eventful day of everyones week....

Friday, November 7, 2008

The Making of Me : A 10 Year Retrospective

Just so we're clear, this meme was originally started by Sheena and even though i wasnt officially tagged i've decided to do it anyway. Basically its a quick rundown summarising the last 10 years of my life. And so, seeing as i'm 24 this year, we start way back in 1998, at the tender age of 14....

1998 ( 14 yrs ) - If i remember correctly, this is the year where i first started to feel a little dark inside. Not that i want to make out everything was doom and gloom, but it was around this time i first started to listen to those self-loathing thoughts in my head. It was also the year i got my first mobile phone and we had internet on our home computer for the first time. And so started my addiction to the Inter-Web.

1999 ( 15 yrs ) - The tenth grade of high school. This is where things started to become serious - important end-of-year exams, getting to invited to parties was almost the be all and end all, and friendships were tested. I got drunk for the first time ( on Stolichnaya Lemon Ruskies .... so old school ) at my friends Brads birthday party. I felt ridiculously cool but was terrified of my dad busting me. Thankfully he didnt and i spent quite a few parties that year ( and all the years following ) getting my drink on. Also, despite being released the previous year, this is the year i started my love affair with " Dizzy Up The Girl " by The Goo Goo Dolls - to this day, one of my top 5 favourite albums.

2000 ( 16 yrs ) - I wrote a lot of poetry this year. You know, the world-sucks, i-wish -i -were-dead, emo kid kind of poetry. I carried a notebook of poetry in my school bag, so that everytime i was upset, angry or plain old bored i could write. Words have managed to sustain me, in some form or another, ever since then. The memory of good times that sticks out in my mind is from my two day biology camp. I sang - the one and only time that i have ever had the guts to sing by myself, in front of other people. What did i sing ? " Slide " by the Goo Goo Dolls.

2001 ( 17 yrs ) - Final year of high school baby! Thank the freaking Lord, because by this point in precedings i was well and truely sick of the place. I loved getting to hang out with my friends, i enjoyed being able to debate intellectually in class discussions, i even enjoyed some of the assignments I had to do - i just hated the institution. I disliked most of the teachers and thoughi dont have a huge problem with authority, I hated being told what to do by people who were, quite frankly, total douches. I hated my English teacher and i'm pretty sure he hated me too. Two months before end of year exams, i walked out of his class never went back. Screw you sucka! The only good thing about gthe final year of high school was the end of it - that is, our Year 12 Formal ( thats a Senior Prom, for you North Americans ). My Formal was pretty ace. The graduating song we chose ? " Higher " by Creed - yep, we rocked much.

2002 ( 18 yrs ) - No more school meant starting work. I've never been to university, not because i'm stupid or lazy, but because i had ( and still have ) no solid idea what i wanted to do with my life. I also did not have the money to waste on some random course that i might drop after a semester or two. So i got a job working retail and tried to save some money. It was in the first few months of this that i was officially diagnosed with depression and social anxiety disorder. I had to watch one of those horrid public service type videos- you know, like if my life were the Simpsons, the film would have starred Troy McClure . Hi, I'm Troy McClure, and you may remember me from such films as " So You're Having a Mental Breakdown! " or " Parties? Who Needs Them ? " ...... I had to break the news to my family and my immediate bosses at work that i was, ahem, " mentally ill ", and started a course of cognitive behavioural therapy with a counsellor. In short, this year was not my best.

2003 ( 19 yrs ) - All that counselling was doing me some good. I wasnt cured and i was still on meds, but I started to develop interests again ( beyond napping - i'll always be interested in that ). I started thinking about a possible career path and i thought i might enjoy working with kids. I started volunteering at my old primary school on my days off, working as a reading tutor with the kindergarten kids. I did that till 11am, and then in the afternoons i'd do a volunteer shift at a childcare centre, just helping out. I enjoyed it, but i still wasnt ready to make a career commitment. I kept working retail and basically just concentrated on getting mentally healthy. It was hard with my best friend moving away this year, but i managed to stay alive.

2004 ( 20 yrs ) - I'd always wanted to go overseas and this year was the year to make it a reality. I figured that because i didnt have the money to just holiday, i could work for my trip. I applied for a position as a camp counsellor and, after many months of waiting, was knocked back because i only had experience with kids under the age of 7. Once upon a time, this news would have knocked me on my arse, but I decided to keep on trying. This proved to be the best decision I ever made - this time i applied to work as an Au Pair in the USA, and was accepted by a family living in New Jersey. I packed up my shit and moved to the US in early November.

2005 ( 21 yrs ) - 2005 started in Times Square, New York City. Fabulous start to a fabulous year, i'd say. I learnt a lot about myself, and who i had the potential to be, whilst living overseas. I loved my family - my three boys, M, T and H - and i made friends with some gorgeous girls from all over the world. I did a four day trek through the Andes to Machu Picchu in Peru ( where i was possessed by mountain spirits - long story.... ) and tested my mental and physical toughness; i went to DisneyWorld on my own and got to skip to the front of the lines; I did 4th of July at South Street Seaport, Rosh Hashanah in Conneticut and Halloween in my local neighbourhood. I joined a gym and fell into being a gym junkie, losing 10 kgs ( about 25lbs ). I returned to Australia a new person, and to be greeted by a new person ( my neice, D.O.B 18.11.05 ). 2005 was a good year, perhaps the best thus far.

2006 ( 22yrs ) - I started the new year with a new job and a new outlook. The previous year had proved i didnt have to live under my bed covers, that if thrown in the deep end i did, indeed, have the ability to swim. I started hitting the pub every weekend, not drinking ( again, anotyher long story ) but just dancing and living it up. I lived for Saturday nights and Sunday morning sleep ins.I definately looked good and i had never felt better.I had a brief relationship with a guy a year younger than me. He was, sadly, so immature that it eventually felt like dating my younger brother, and i broke it off. This was also the year that i i lost my blog virginity. I didnt write poetry much anymore, and an old school journal was just, well, so old school. My bloga attracted the readership of two awesome internet buddies, both still readers now, and our three way conversations became the stuff of legend. By the time Christmas rolled around, i was completely addicted to blogging and had already been to meet with one of my other readers. I'd like to say it wasnt an excuse for a dirty weekend, but that would be a lie :)

2007 ( 23 yrs ) - Ah, the year of living dangerously. Well not technically dangerously, its not like i was running with a gang or anything, i just lot a lot of my old inhibitions. Yes, in THAT way too ( perverts ). I become a fan of local rugby players, and a fan of drunken midnight texts. I maintained my internet buddies friendships and even got the pleasure of meeting up with one of them. Last year felt like a golden year, save for a few small mistakes - things i said but didnt really mean, things i should have said but didnt, things i missed and things i really wish i hadnt have been there for. Most of 2007 was an adventure of sorts, thats for sure....

2008 ( 24 yrs ) - Which brings us to present day Amy. This year has had its ups and downs. Finishing my optical dispensing course = UP. The Mary Incident = DOWN. My best friends wedding and subsequent joy = UP. Slipping back into depression and having to see a pyschiatrist again = DOWN. Getting a payrise = UP. NOt hitting the town for a record 6 months straight = DOWN. Waiting to be an aunty for the second time = UP.

With two months left to go, who knows what could be in store ?

Saturday, November 1, 2008

And they're racing!

Ah, Derby Day. Horses, hats and, eventually, hangovers. Or, in my case, no hangover but some mad, bad, lobster red sunburn.

Let me elaborate - for those of you not in the know ( so, anyone who isnt Aussie ), today is Derby Day. Yes, its a horse race, just like the Kentucky Derby , only the race isnt in Kentucky, its in Melbourne. Its also the day where smaller race courses around the country hold reciprocal eventas, and its one of these race meets that i've been at today. Now I'm not sure how much you guys know about race ettiquette ( and truth be told i'm no expert myself ), but traidtion decrees thatw omen pretty themselves up , men wear suits, and hats or fascinators are the order of the day. So i picked myself a dress from the 30 or so in my wardrobe, found a semi comfortable but very cute pair of open toe heels and bought a relatively simple fascinator and headed to the track. The key ingredient that i missed ? Bloody sunscreen! You would think living in the country with the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world that i would be well versed in the ways of sun protection, but the one day that i choose to go hanging about outside, swanning around and sipping on wine, i forget to coat myself in sunscreen first. Consequently i am now a nice shade of lobster red and am very much NOT looking forward to taking a shower in the morning ( sunburn +hot water = ouch! )

I am pleased to say, however, that i did not lose a packet of money at the track. I only put a bet on two races, and a very modest bet at that. I didnt think putting $5 for a win on a horse would break the bank, and who could resist putting money on a horse with a name like " Gangster in a Suit " ? Seriously? Incidentally, i've had many a conversation with my father about what we would name a race horse if we owned one - I'd go for " Ultimatum " ( classy, yes ? ) and he likes " BustaGut ".

And so, on to Tuesday, and the Melbourne Cup. Or, as we Australians like to refer to it - " The Race That Stops A Nation ". And it does - i remember being a senior in high school and having our teachers bring a tv into the classroom and halting the lesson for the three or so minutes the race was run. We did the same thing in my office last year - set up a tv where everybody could see it, watched the race coverage starting from 12 noon ( the actual Melbourne Cup isnt run until just after 3pm ) and offering the few lucky customers who entered the shop just as the race was starting a piece of celebratory cake. I usually place a modest bet on the Cup every year but i've only ever won any money once. I think i was in the 9th or 10th grade and won about $50 on a horse called " Rogan Josh ". Not a bad windfall when your 14 years old. I'm thinking of putting a bet on this year but dont go asking me for any tips - i'll scour the race guide on the morning of the race and base my decision on one of three things - the horses number, the horses name or the jockeys colours.

No need to pay attention to age, weight or race stats - just go with a good colour combination and your lucky number.....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

White meat or dark meat ?

I won a turkey, I won a turkey, I won a turkey hey, hey, hey, hey! Well, not even just one turkey - I won three turkeys, and not just me but my dad and brother had something to do with it too. And before anyone asks, not great, big, live gobbling turkeys either : great big frozen turkeys. And so, seeing as it is heading into November and i still miss my US family on special occasions, I am going to attempt a Thanksgiving dinner.

Yes, you read that right - I, an Australian, am going to attempt the very American tradition of a Thanksgiving dinner. I remember the dinner from the year i lived in NJ. I had only been in the country just over a week and my host family had a big celebration with a whole nucnh of extended family. For a young Aussie girl barely used to being on the other side of the planet the whole occasion was quite overwhelming. We had that many people over we had to cook one of the turkeys in our neighbours oven ( i believe they were off visiting their family in another state at the time ) and the kids had to sit at their own table in the unfinished sitting room. We had the turkey and cranberry sauce, of course; brussel sprouts ( umm...eww ), mashed potatoes, green beans and this awesome whipped sweet potato with marshamllows. At the time i thought that was near about the craziest concotion i had ever heard of but O.M.G Sweet vegetabl-ey goodness. Ooh, ooh.... and pumpkin pie!

So there you have it- come Thanksgiving ( which wont actually occur here in Australia, so i can have it any day i like really ), i'm going to have me a big, fat roasted turkey with super sweet marshmallow sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie. Oh, and cranberry sauce. And oh, its going to be good.

P.S I had planned on doing a Halloween post tomorrow and i was going to include a picture of the one, and only, pumpkin i have ever carved. However, my stupid HP Mini laptop has shat its pants and died so whilst it is being repaired ( and my other computer is in storage ) i dont have any access to those once in a lifetime Halloween pics. Poo to that! Damn them for being, like, the only photos i havent uploaded to Facebook!

Monday, October 27, 2008

International Relations

I've been having relations, with Andy of WildARSChase. NO, not those kinds of relations - international relations. See young Andy decided the best way to make up for a recent cultural faux pas was to do a co-blog ( my first co-blog - excited much!?! ) , in regards to cultural cliches, if you will. So, the following are two sets of lists, one by WildARS, one by my good self. In an attempt to create a better understanding of Americans and Australians, we've compiled lists of common stereotypes that may or may not be true about both countries. We hope it's your favourite (or favorite!) list of all time.First up, the list compiled by WildARS.

( Note: Comments by Andy are in italics, comments by AmyXXOO are in bold. )


1. All sound like Steve Irwin - Crikey, this one is a load of crap mate! Which is to say no, we don't all sound like Steve Irwin. God rest his soul, but the man was a walking cliche, at least when it comes to Australian language. To be honest, i think he just spoke like that to play up to you Americans - you eat that stuff up.
That we do. We love pigeonholing people. Just ask Native Americans. We think all of them live in tepees and drink, forgetting that whole part when our ancestors slaughtered their ancestors.... It is sad Irwin died, though. What a good dude.

.2. Are frequently eaten alive by Great White sharks - Leave the sharks alone! Seriously, I think the Great Whites get a bad rap - as far as experts tell it, the frequency of their attacks is, well, pretty infrequent. The best way to NOT get attacked - stay out of their ocean!
Tell that to Rob Schneider. See, I think sharks are the best, even if I am terrified of them. Shark Week on Discovery Channel is a good time, but it constantly shows people getting eaten off the Australian shores. You should write Discovery a stern letter.

3. Know what a dingo is. - Wait, this one is true. We all know what a dingo is, but having seen one in the flesh is a whole other matter. I mean, unless you live in either Northern Queensland or anywhere in the Northern Territory. I thought i saw a dingo once, but it was just a skinny German Shepherd...
Is the Northern section the place to stay away from? Sounds like Hicksville.
It's the place to stay away from if you want to avoid: crocodiles, sharks, dingoes and people missing numerous teeth.

4. Think rugby is better than football - Are we talking American football ( which we call Gridiron ) or soccer ?
Uh, the only good kind, American football. Americans pretend we like soccer, but we're not good at it. We just think we should be good at it. I will say that rugby is the manliest of sports.
Correction - rugby league is the manliest of sports. Rugby and rugby league are two different sports. Ah, so much for you Americans to learn....

5. Have an inordinate amount of actors working in Hollywood, who all immediately drop their accents - We don't have an inordinate amount, it's just that all the actors we send over there are good enough to be working. Yay for us! That whole dropping their accents thing is annoying though - be proud of where you're from, people. Like Hugh Jackman - sure, he'll change his accent for a movie but when he's offscreen, it's Australian twang all the way!
I always forget Nicole Kidman is Australian. You can have Russell Crowe back, however.


1. Are fat and lazy - This is proven by the fact that you have " drive thru " everything: drive thru voting, drive thru pharmacies, drive thru banks. Seriously, you are too lazy to line up for anything if it means you'll have to stand up!
Wait, you don't have drive thru banks? You're missing out. Our banks have drive-thru ATMs with Braille on it. You know, in case a blind person is driving and needs cash fast. We will, however, stand in line for hours to see a celebrity. Even a minor one, like John Goodman or Cuba Gooding Jr.

2. Think we are the best at everything - You own Michael Phelps so you can lay claim to being the best at anything he's in, I'll give you that. But you guys think you're entirely awesome at any sport you try your hand at. Plus, when you get beaten and it's been proven that you are, in fact, not the best - well, you are sore, sore losers.
We are terrible losers. When the USA men's basketball team didn't win the gold in the 2004 Olympics, everyone freaked out like, "How is that possible." Some of us in the South are still upset about losing our Civil War.

3. Like to force democracy on unsuspecting nations - You mean like Vietnam ? Or Iraq ? You mean like that ?
Pick a country. I am surprised we aren't forcing something on you of some nature. We do like to force democracy a lot, even when a country doesn't ask for it. As if democracy is the only way to exist. You know what they had in the Bible? Kings. You know what God actually wanted? Nobody in charge but God. But democracy, evidentally, has become the chosen form of government, "in God we trust"-- unless it's in a classroom, and then God's gotta take a backseat. We've got no problem killing people in other countries so they can get their share of democracy, but we definitely will not force kids to listen to silent prayer. Let's not get crazy here.
Woah, i think we hit a nerve there Andy. Democracy, God, the education system - that's a whole other blog post right there.
I feel better now. And slightly un-American. Crap.

4. Think we are trendsetters in music and fashion - The Beatles? British. The Rolling Stones? British. Vivienne Westwood, one of the greatest innovators in modern fashion? British. Versace, Armani, Dolce and Gabbana? Italian. Nope, no Americans on that list at all. I mean, I'm not saying you guys have NOTHING - just, the world does not revolve around you.
It's sad, isn't it? We're so far behind, and yet are so ethnocentric in thinking we are tops in that stuff, even when it was all done in Europe first. We do have the Jonas Brothers, though. And jean jackets.
The Jonas brothers? Uh huh....
We have Britney Spears, too.
I have three letters for you Andy - O.M.G.....

5. Believe we should own the only nuclear weapons - You do, don't you ? Its kind of like a dad chastising his son for having Playboys under his bed: he's going to say " son, those are bad! ", then he's going to confiscate them, but then he's still going to watch porn on his computer.
Excellent point. Instead, dads and sons should watch porn together on the computer. It keeps families together. Also, we should all get rid of nuclear weapons. I don't see the point in having them if no one is allowed to use them. Either let's get this nuclear holocaust ripping and roaring now, or let's get rid of the toys.

So, there you be ladies and gents, the first half of the greatest, most awesom-est, most incredibly ace list of all time. For the second half of the list, do yourself a favour and shoot on over to Andy's page - the second half of the list, the stereotypes i compiled, should be posted in the next day or two.

Seriously, get on over there! If you like funny, intelligent, vibrant writing, Andy is your man!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Burfday weekend rundown

So that, right there , is my beautiful sister Erin. Doesnt she look cute? The angle of the eyeborws looks slightly wicked, but thats how she is really. So, just in case any of you have been living under a rock, or reading my posts without actually understanding them, this past Friday was Erin's 18th birthday. I am slightly sad to say that the weekend was a bit of a bust for me, but very happy to say she partied hard and loved it all ( after all, her birthday is about HER, not me ). Let me explain:
I'd taken the day off work on Friday so that we could hang out - i thought it might be nice to share the whole day with her, plus the idea of a day off for any reason was appealing. So while she was having a facial and a massage i hit the gym, and then we met back at home so we could go out for lunch. Not just any lunch mind you, but " $10 Tradie Lunch ", the best invention in the world. Basically one of the local pub bistro's offer a choice of meal, plus a drink, for only $10. I had the best chicken carbonara EVER - seriously - and enjoyed the company of my mother, my sister and her best friend.

Next on the agenda ? Tattoo time! Now we all know that i have four tattoos ( you knew that, right ? ) but i think i started a trend in my family. Since i got my first one, my father and brother have both been inked, and now it was Erins turn. She had to wait, legally, until she turned 18 to get tattooed but, in a stroke of genius, she decided to ask my parents if she get a tattoo as a birthday present - that way she wouldnt have to pay for it. And they agreed - well done little Erin! So my father and I went with her, less for moral support and more so we could witness the looks of mild pain and agitation on her face as the job was being done. Does that make us nasty ? No, just family. The tattooist Paul is a sweet guy though so he was always enquiring whether she was doing okay, did she want to stop for a break, stretch her legs, things like that, so he didnt make to easy for us to get inside her head. Incidentally, in a brief taste of D-list fame, Paul holds the world record for the longest tattooing session ever ( 42 hours people ).... take that " Miami Ink" !

So after lunch, the tattoo session and the traditional gathering for birthday cake ( caramel mud cake... uh, yum.... ), the immediate family went out for dinner. Witness below the astonishing beauty that was us ( ahem... yea, right ):

So thats her and, uh, me posing for a happy snap before the dinner arrived. For the record, my garlic chicken and prawns was lovely, thank you for asking. The place we went for dinner is a balcony resturant above my favourite pub, so it has a great atmosphere and made it really easy to move on after dinner. My heavily pregnant sister-in-law, neice and my flu-ey father went home after we'd eaten, and myself, my mum, brother and little Erin headed downstairs. Friday nights are always a little bit of a bust - i'm glad she wasnt completely geared up for a huge night, because Fridays tend to be a little quiet and the problem with eating out before hitting the pub is that there is usally a period between the end of the meal and the point in the night where other people start turning up. That period is the one that gets you - you get bored waiting for some action to arrive, and if your a birthday girl who woke up really early and has been running around all day you start to get a little tired too. So we had a few quiet drinks and decided to head home around 10pm. Kind of an early time to be calling it an evening, but my brother had to work in the morning, my mum is NOT a party animal,and the birthday girl was happy to have been able to get a few drinks in with her nearest and dearets. Aww, bless.

Which leads me to Saturday:

Nevermind the fact that I look completely washed out in that photo ( if you could get closer I had really sweet gold eyeshadow and black liner... it was cute! ) but, for me, the night was a bit of a washout. I was really looking forward to it - my best friend P ( thats her in the dots ) was going to be home, it was going to be my sisters first big night out and my first big night out for 6 months. And for a while, it was great: P and I had a great dinner together and then joined my sister and some friends at the pub. We started having some drinks and got to dancing - god, how i missed pub dancing! - and it was all going great. And then code name Mary showed up. I cant believe i let her ruin my night. One minute i'm dancing a way, not a care in the world and the next there she is, shotting me the death stare.
Once i knew she was there, she was EVERYWHERE. Turns out she was one of Erins friends cousins, so after having a short toilet break, P and I returned to the dancefloor to find Mary dancing with our group. That was it - i could not be there and have her either giving me the evil eye or, alternatively, completely ignoring me and making me feel uncomfortable in my own group. Once P decided she was going to go, I couldnt stay on my own, even though my sister was there living it up. I gave her amy apologies and told her if Mary was going to be hanging around, i couldnt.My sister, in her 18 year old wisdom, loudly announced she'd throw a drink in Mary's face, her tell her to piss off, because its not fair that i should be made to feel that way. Knowing that if she did try any of that, the situation would only be worse, I made my exit.
I'm really cut at myself for letting her ruin my night. I'd been excited about celebrating with my sister for weeks and, on the actual night, i skulked home before midnight. All because some girl with apparent issues has some cold of emotional hold over me. My sister showed me all her photos in the morning, and excitedly told me about how the rest of the night went, and she had such a great time. It only made me feel worse for having missed out. So apparently i'm going to have to suck it up, and learn to ignore Mary - its just hard because i'm very non-confrontational, and i always feel that if i'm in " her " way too long, she's going to go off her nut again. My only other option is to pack up and move to some place she doesnt live. Poo to that, and poo to her!
And so endeth the burfday weekend adventures. Overall, i know my sister had a great weekend and thats all matters. Plus, my hair looked h-o-t on Friday and i had sexy shoes last night - beat that Mary!

Thursday, October 23, 2008



Okay, so in case you havent been following my blog, today is my little sisters 18th birthday. Happy burfday to her! We kind of have a full day ahead of us ( i have taken the day off work so we could hang out ) : we're almost ready to go to lunch, then she has an appointment at the tattoo parlour to have her first tatoo done, after that people will be turning up for birthday cake and then the whole immediaqte family is going out for birthday dinner. Ooh, plus, seeing as 18 is the legal drinking age in Australia, tonight will be her first real taste of Aussie pub culture - yay for that!

So she and I are going out tonight and tomorrow night aswell. Its been a while since i've been out both nights of the weekend so i'm expecting to feel, i dont know, like a 100 years old come Sunday afternoon. Everyone look forward to my posts after that....

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Love is all around me....

I am not alone. Obviously - i live with my parents and my younger sister, i'm NEVER alone - but thats not what i meant. I mean I am not alone in my quest for true love - apparently you all have issues too. Seriously. If i was to have a rough guess-timate I'd say that 67.3% of the blog posts i have read in the past week have related back to L-O-V-E . People falling love; out of love;having new crushes; crushing over exes; wondering where it will lead and wondering where it all went wrong. It seems that we in this particualr blogopshere are a complex set of creatures, and we're all looking for lurve.

So i said in my last post that I'm going to give a second date with Joe a shot, and Steph wonders if my date must have been all that terrible in the first place. Wel, it wasnt - it wasnt terrible, it was just " meh ". And, on the scale of things, " meh " is not as bad as " argh! ", is it ? If you're wondering what scale it is that i refer to, it is as follows:

1. " Argh! " = terrible; horrible; could not have been worse;
2. " meh " = yea, it was alright .... i suppose...
3. " Woo hoo! " = great; fantastic; mind blowingly ace;

So no, i wasnt tearing my hair out at how awful it was, but i wasnt exactly " Woo hoo! "ing either. And so, on this occasion, I've decided that " meh " deserves a second chance. I mean, what if the first date was just a one off and the second one completely rocks my socks? I could potentially miss out on that sparky " Woo hoo! "ing because Joe was having one off night. If worse comes to worst, the second date totally blows - but then i know for sure right ? Plus, we all need bad date stories, the horror stories we tell our friends and siblings ( and blog buddies ... ) to demonstrate just how bad the whole love caper can get. Like, I dont know, when your date spends approximately 97% of the night talking about how uch he earns, how much he owns and how much it costs - and even goes so far as showing you numerous pictures of his flat screen tv. Like they were pictures of his kids. Prententious much ?

So, if any of you blog readers are in half of a loved up couple, how did you meet your other half ? Is there anything i should be doing that i'm not ? I want the secrets of the love universe people! Open up!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Average Joes, wearing chocolate and super boys

Right, so i've decided to give Joe one more chance. This may be against the general consensus - according to the comments on my last post, all of you guys think its a lost cause and both my father and sister are in agreeance that he sounds like a total knob, but you never know, right ?I've agreed to go out with him again, if only to see if that elusive spark suddenly appears or to confirm my suspicions that he falls into friend territory. However, I have told him i will be busy for the next two weekends so he wont be seeing me before then. See, its my sisters 18th birthday this coming weekend and then my brothers 23rd the following, so i kind of have a good excuse to sit and mull over how to let Joe down gently if that spark doesnt appear.

In other news, like i said, my sisters birthday is now only 3 days and 4 sleeps away. Yes, she is about to turn 18 years of age and she is still counting down in the number of " sleeps ". Bless her little cotton socks... anyhoo, i bought the cutest black gladiator style heels to wear on Saturday night. Again, no picture for you yet but you can be sure i'll sneak a few pics of my tootsies at some point. I'm thinking after going out Friday AND Saturday nights, i'm going to have plenty pictures to choose from. Old school, drunk-at-the-pub, uploaded-to-Facebook style pictures. Look out!

Also, my neice insists that she will be wearing " chocolate " my sisters birthday dinner. What the? yes, when i asked her what she was going to wear, and i told her it had to be something nice, she replied, " Umm... chocolate! ". Well, yes, chcoolate IS nice, i just dont think its appropriate night time attire for a 3 year old. A 23 year old maybe ( especially if he has dark hair, and those goregous V hip muscle things..... ) but for a 3 year old, not so much.....

Oh, one last thing - i just want you all to know, in case you didnt already, that the boys on " Supernatural " are the prettiest boys on tv.

Friday, October 17, 2008

" So how was it ? " - " Umm, yea, it was alright ".

So, I had a date last night with a guy i met through Match.com, and that was my reaction to it. It wasn’t that it was entirely terrible, it just wasn’t great. It wasn’t one of those dates where you’re really excited that the night is almost over because you anticipate getting a goodnight kiss; it wasn’t even one of those dates that you get home and you go “ I had a really good time – i hope he calls! “ This was more like “ Oh, it was nice, he was nice, just the whole thing was a little – meh”. And i hate to say it, because my date – lets call him Average Joe – really does seem like a nice, well intentioned kind of guy. Just not the nice, well intentioned kind of guy that i am into.

We had been sending each other emails for about two weeks and decided it seemed like the right time to meet up, so we organised a movie. Joe lives in a town about an hour and half away, so he drove in for the night. We had been joking before about his deep and abiding love for milkshakes, so i figured before the movie we’d take a stroll down to my local ice creamery where he could pick a good, old fashioned milkshake. He offered to buy something and when i declined, saying i didn’t want anything, he ordered me a large Slushy anyway. “ Thats what you were angling for, right ? “ Whats up with that? So by saying no, thank you, i’m not thirsty right now I am somehow subliminally asking for a large Slushy? We watched “ Eagle Eye “ – a film I had been looking forward to – and i discovered Joe likes to talk during the movies. I mean, call me fussy, tell me i’m being a little anal, but talking during a film is a big no-no with me. We followed up the film with a drink or two at my favourite local pub. The conversation was mostly good, but i had alternating moments of interest and boredom. There were things he said that made sense, and a handful of things that just rang “ Incompatible! “ bells in my head. For example, he was asking me about my family and asked if we are close. I said sure, we’re close on my mothers side, everyone usually comes home for Christmas, i love my toddler aged cousins etc etc; he says he doesn’t enjoy big family gatherings and cant see a big family Christmas being something he would be into. Yes, you’re right, only a minor detail now, but if a relationship were to progress wouldn’t family big a big issue ? Methinks so.

So I’m in two minds now. He has sent me a message today saying he had a great time, he would love to do it again – but i’m thinking if we were to do it again we’d only end up friends. There were no fireworks for me last night at all. I left thinking he was a nice guy, it was a decent way to pass the time, but that was it. No wondering about whether he would call or not; No running conversations back through my head to make sure i sounded intelligent; No scrutinising his behaviour to see if he was giving me “ signals “. If none of that is happening, i’m thinking he’s just not my type, however nice he might be.

To put it in terms men might be able to understand – as explained by the most awesome Andy – i’m thinking young Joe is about to fall into “ friend territory “.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Aren't I Already Wise Enough ?

Seriously? I mean i’m no Socrates or anything, but i’d rather not be if it means i don’t have to suffer the growing in of wisdom teeth. Or rather, just the growing – they aren’t growing through my gums at all. This may be kind of an overshare but i finally dragged my arse to the dentist only to be told my wisdom teeth are impacted- that is, there isn’t enough room in along my jaw for them to break the gum and come through, so there are growing into other teeth. Pushing themselves against teeth in an effort to break free! Go little teeth, push, be free! You say? Hell freakin’ no! These stupid teeth are causing me immense pain. Every few weeks or so they throw a little tantrum, try and push their way up, and i walk around for a week feeling like someone has punched me in the jaw. Not an entirely pleasant experience really. So i’ve decided its time to get the damn things taken out. I have a referral to an oral surgeon so i rang today to make an appointment for an initial consultation. When am i going to see him ? 6pm, November 12th. Thats like a whole month away! Which all means i’ll probably have to put up with the whole dull, thudding, aching jaw thing at least twice more. You suck, health system!

In completely unrelated news, I’m having my measurements taken at the gym again tomorrow night. It will be the first time since the implementation of my new program that i’ve been measured up, and my fingers are crossed that i’ve made some progress. You know how i posted about my butt feeling like it had suddenly become a whole lot bigger ? I was right! I had my measurements done before i started on my new program and my bum had gotten a whole 3 centimetres bigger than it was the last time i was measured up. 3 whole centimetres – thats like an inch to you American type people! And i know i should be all out and proud about having a little junk in my trunk, but no woman that frequents the gym as much as i do wants to hear that her bum is getting bigger. Seriously, if thats going to happen, what the hell am i sweating it out five times a week for ? You know, besides the fact that i quiet enjoy it ? The only thing i can think of, and would be quite happy to accept, is that my butt is sitting higher – that is, the muscle is more toned and perkier. Okay, maybe thats an overshare too, you all don’t really want to be picturing my apparently big perky bum, but there you have it. I could accept that, that much would work for me. But if its just a case of the rest of me is shrinking and my butt is officially trying to take over the world, well, that would just suck.

So now that you know all about my health concerns and body issues, rest assured that i’ll keep you in the loop. Yes, i’m going to overshare everything from now on, just so that you don’t miss out. Because, you know, NOT knowing how my teeth are feeling or how big my butt is feeling on any given day would just be a tragedy now, wouldn’t it ?