Friday, August 28, 2009

We're Going On A BabyMoon!

Yes you read that correctly - a babymoon. What the boojesus is a babymoon you ask ? Its the holiday you take before your baby arrives. I read a few articles in some pregnancy magazines mentioning women who'd been on that last little holiday as a couple, so I mentioned it to Mr Gil and now we're off to a little place called Shelly Beach on the central coast of New South Wales ( note: NSW is the state we live in here in Australia. We only 5 , plus two territories. Big country split into biiiiiiiig sections.... ).

I'm looking forward to it - it will be the first time Mr Gil and i have gone away together, just the two of us, not to visit family..... and it will also be the last for a long time. We're only going away for a long weekend so its not a long time but i'm determined to make the most of it. Sleep ins, long lunches, time at the beach, throw in some touristy type stuff and a couple of romantic dinners and voila!

A great weekend with a great guy will make me a very happy and contented pregnant lady....

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Another Weekend By The Numbers

2 - slices of chocolate Toblerone cheesecake ( made by yours truely ) that i ate on Friday night.

900 - approximate number of calories contained within those slices. My belly is growing anyway - what do i care about calories?

104 - dollars spent on maternity pants. Yes, i bought maternity clothes last weeked but you know what ? I have since discovered that my work pants no longer do up without the help of a saftey pin and my jeans just arent comfortable shoved all the way down below my hips.

45 - approximate number of minutes spent sorting, folding, and putting away the washing on Saturday afternoon. I was trying to tidy up a bit before Mr Gil's sister and brother-in-law came for a visit. They arrived just as i got to folding the underwear....

2 - movies watched this weekend: " Pride and Glory " with Edward Norton and Colin Farrell on DVD, and " My Sisters Keeper " with Cameron Diaz and Abigail Breslin at the cinema.

26 - approximate number of times i broke into tears whilst watching " My Sisters Keeper ". You should not watch a movie like that, with your mother, when you're pregnant - its just far too upsetting.

80 - minutes spent in the sunshine, watching my brothers soccer semi-final.

0 - number of goals scored by my brothers opposition. His team won the game, 2-0. Go the Wanderers!

1 - number of times i applied sunscreen before hitting the sunshine. Did i re-apply ? No. Did i get sunburnt ? Sure did. Does that suck ? Yes indeedy.

6 - number of berry and chocolate mousse parfaits i made for Sunday nights dessert - one each for Mr Gil's parents, and two for each of us! I didnt exactly tell the Mr Gil-in-laws that we had extras though - naughty me....

Saturday, August 22, 2009


My sister-in-law told me that once she got halfway through her pregnancy she couldnt stop cleaning her house. I said that that would never happen to me - anyone who knows me knows that i have an aversion to cleaning, or manic cleaning anyway. I'm happy to have my my house look " lived in " - not slovenly, but a few pairs of shoes by the front door and a pile of unfolded washing in the spare lounge chair dont faze me.

Well - not anymore. Its come as a slight suprise to me that in the past few weeks i've come across a nesting gene i didnt think i had. I dont think its because i'm pregnant though - i'm putting it down to trying to impress Mr Gil. Actually, i dont think that impress is the right word. Its just that we're living together as a couple and we're starting a family and i feel the need to keep the house tidier now. No, i'm not prescribing to feminine values of the 50's ( have his meal when he gets home ? Run him a bath ? Making sure the kids are seen and not heard ? Uh...nuh ) its just that its something i can do in the domestic partnership.

For eg - i cook most nights, so he does the dishes. If he puts a load of washing on, i hang it out. If he's outside mowing the lawn, i'll be inside cleaning the bathroom. Or whatever.

So there you have it - i've become domesticated. Like a dog. But not like a cat - thos bastards are malicious, evil little things....

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Moving Pictures

So, here's a development for you - just in the last few days or so i've been able to feel my baby move. How exciting! I'm not quite sure how to describe it exactly but lets put it this way : it slike my tummy is a fishbowl and the baby is a little fish, flitting around in there and occasionally crashing into the sides. I think my bub must like doing underwater yoga or something because since i've been able to notice, i've realised its quite the hive of activity in there. In fact, i have what a sonographer described as " a wriggler ".

At least thats what i was told at my 19 week scan on Monday afternoon. Mr Gil and i were in with the sonographer for 40 minutes, during which time the baby twisted and turned, flipped and flopped... and pretty much did anything but stay still. She found it quite amusing though - rather than get frusturated that it wouldnt stay still long enough to concentrate on any one body part, she just took little pictures of the head, or the heart, or the leg etc whenever she could. IT was cute to watch too : we got to see the baby yawn, and wiggle its bottom and curl up with its fists under its feet ( hence the yoga, see ? ).

And just quickly - what else were we told at our scan ? The gender of our baby....

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The Return of: A Weekend By The Numbers

6 - slices of pizza that i ate for dinner on Friday night. And i was scrounging around my parents fridge for a nice piece of fruit after that. This eating for two thing is just weird...

$132 - approximate number of dollars i spent on the lay-by i picked up Saturday morning. All maternity clothes - 2 tank tops, i skirt, i cute top and a maternity pack containing a t-shirt, singlet, a pair of leggings and a tummy band.

35 - minutes spent cleaning the bathroom. I swear the previous homeowners must have barely ever cleaned it - there are rust stains on the floor of the shower recess and faint brown marks in the bathtub that just wont come up with regular cleaners. Its going to have to be industrial strength!

4 - hours that Mr Gil and i spent " out " on Saturday night. My brother and sister-in-law invited us to meet them down at one of the locals pubs for a drink and to see a band; we said sure, we might come for an hour or so. An hour turned into 4 hours and a pretty enjoyable night...

0 - the number of alcoholic drinks i consumed whilst at the pub. I'm a good pregnant lady, see ?

10 - am, the time we rolled out of bed after our little night out. Not too shabby for a Sunday morning.

150 - approximate number of minutes i spent in the sunshine over the entire weekend. Mr Gil and I decided to tackle all our outdoor jobs while the weather was unseasonably warm. Saturday he mowed the lawn whilst i hung out ( and brought in ) a few loads of washing; Sunday he watered the lawn while i swept the front and back verandahs, and then we both planted the first seeds in our vegie patch.

1 - movie watched - " Paul Blart: Mall Cop "

93 - minutes, running time of said movie.

2 and 45 - hour and minutes that it took us to actually get it watched. We kept pressing pause so we could jump up and check the roast that was in the oven ( Mr Gil ), or go to the bathroom ( Me ) or take a quick trip to the supermarket to pick up teh gravy we forgot to buy earlier...

Aww, welcome back Weekend By The Numbers!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

The 7 Things I Hate About Lady Gaga

Alright, yes - so i paraphrased the title of a Miley Cyrus song. But Miley Cyrus for all her tweensy cuteness and fake drama is sooooo much more tolerable ( to me ) than stupid Lady Gaga. Sometimes you dislike a singer or a band or an actor and you dont really know why - you just cant put your finger on it. Yea - well i can. Here, in a rough order, are the 7 reasons why i really just dont like the artist known as " Lady Gaga ":

7. She thinks her persona and her music are completely original. Innovative. Unable to be put into any one genre. Bah! The controversial outifts and styling ? This lady named Madonna - i dont know, you might have heard of her - did all that first. And as for the music .... lets just say the first time i heard " Papparazzi " on teh radio i thought it was Gwen Stefani. And now that i've said that, you can al totally picture Gwen ( or Katy Perry, or a desperate Kylie Minogue ) singing any one of Lady's songs.
6. She calls herself " Lady Gaga ". We all know she has a real name, and sure there are plenty of other famous people with stage names - but who is so pretentious as to name themselves " Lady " anything ? It could denote aristocracy or it could allude to her feminine manners .... although i dont think someone who constantly appears in public wearing only a leotard has a claim to either of those. In fact, i like to refer to her as Lady Gag - as in thats what she makes me do. Gag.
5. She carries a tea cup. And why does she carry the tea cup ? Is it to carry on the pretention mentioned in the previous bullet point ? No - apparently she did it to make the tea cup famous and thus prove the ridiculousness of fame. All it proved to me is that Lady Gaga herself s ridiculous. And lame.
4. Also, she refers to her tea cup as a " she ". Its bad enough that she carried one around, but she also refers to an inanimate object as a particular gender. I wonder if it has a name, and whether she's afraid of revealing it in case the tea cup becomes more famous than her. What would its name be - Lady Bone China ?
3. She went through a phase of having " cupids bow " lips painted on. Listen, your not Louise Brooks. And your not a Japanese geisha ( although i'm sure i've just given her an idea for her next video clip ). So i just want to tell you getting around in that stupid hat with her stupid painted on lips and carrying your stupid tea cup is.... Stupid.
2. The line " I wanna take a ride on your disco stick ". Seriously ? I dont think i really need to elaborate on this one.

And the number one thing i hate about Lady Gaga ?
1. She doesnt wear pants. We all know how i feel about leggings as pants. But Ms Gaga doesnt even bother with the leggings - its no pants day, every day, at Gaga's house. She constantly photographed in either a leotard or a bustier.... and shoes. Carrying a tea cup. But wearing no pants. Therefore, i cannot even contemplate seeing eye to eye with her.

People who insist on pants-less-ness are my enemies.....

*NOTE* I refuse to post a picture of the pants-less-ness. No. Freaking. Way.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Unveiling

Alright - so i spent a few hours trolling websites looking for a free Blogger skins and this ( God, please tell me you noticed! ) is what i came up with. Why the fish ? Well, i have goldfish and i liked the imagery of the one goldfish making the leap from the bowl. I'm making a leap right ? Sure, i've been leaping for quite a damn while and havent exactly landed yet, and when i do land my fishbowl wont be empty ( it'll have a partner and a baby fish in it! ) but still - it said something to me. So there you have it - i've gone from Lauren Bacall to goldfish. Decide for yourself whether that was the right direction to take.

Now, as far as this new regular feature i mentioned.... i'm having a baby, i like children, kids are great. So, in that vein, why not celebrate them ? So, here it is:


NAME: Bartholomew Jojo Simpson ( aka " Bart " )
AGE: 10 years ( and has been since 1989.... )
HOMETOWN: Springfield, SomeStateNo-oneKnows, USA
REASON FOR FEATURING: Bart gets to be my first featured child of the month basically because he's the most famous 10 year old in the world. Right ? I'm pretty sure even children in war torn 3rd world countries know who is. So what do we know about him? He's the eldest of the Simpson children; he has mad skateboarding skills; his hero is Krusty the Clown; he had a number one hit in the 90's with " Do The Bartman "; and, suprisingly enough, he's voiced by a woman.
Bart has always been my equal favourite Simpsons character ( its hard to go past Homer... ). In fact, when i was around 10 years of age my self, my parents banned my brother and I from watching the Simpsons because they thought Bart had too much of an influence on our behaviour. Which, lets face it, cant be that good - he's a smart arse ( " Eat my shorts! ), he pays little attention at school and revels in raising hell for Principal Skinner, and just does naughty things in general ( hello prank calls to Moes Tavern! ). But that doesnt mean Bart doesnt have a heart of gold. We've seen it from time to time - helping Grandpa find the Hellfsih Bonanza; getting Lisa's yearbook signed by the " cool kids " on vacation; and taking up bike riding and tea-partying with Marge when no-one else would. THAT'S why i love him: he's mischevious and rebellious and sometimes downright rude, but when it comes down to it he's a little sweetheart.
And so, thats the first of my Child of the Month feature posts. The child of the month may be a fiction character from either tv, film or literature; a particularly talented or prodigious real world child; or just a kid i know that i reckon deserves a write up. So, in the spirit of keeping it interesting for the rest of you, if you have a candidate that you'd like featured that fits that bill, drop me a comment and let me know!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Everyone Loves A Makeover!

Alright - so here's the thing : i'm beginning to believe my blog has become boring. Not just the theme and colour scheme ( blue? blah! ), but the writing too. I was reading some of my old posts, my back catalogue if you will and i realised something:

I've lost my funny.

Not that i'm saying i was ever, like, Tina Fey funny. Or Nick Hornby funny. Hell, i wasnt even WildARSChase funny. But i like to think i had a certain wit, a certain quirk, a certain way of looking at the world that was sometimes amusing. And its gone. And that, my friends, sucks arse. Big time.

And so, i'm gonna try changing things up. Why not? My " real " world is changing at a rapid pace and what is my blog if not a reflection of my reality ? I've looked at the blogs i love - and the blogs i'd love to be - and i've taken some of the things i really love about them on board. Or at least i'm going to try to.... who knows, this makeover could fail big time. It could be a make-under as it were - i could go from Charlize Theron in " Cider House Rules " to Charlize Theron in " Monster ". Frankly, thats not a prospect most of us would be looking forward to ( you know, unless you were totally into the idea of making out with Christina Ricci and, umm, killing unsuspecting men. )

Look out tomorrow for the maiden post of what i would like to make a regular " feature " and stay tuned to see if i can work out how to give myself some kind of cool colour scheme ( doubtful, but i'll give it a shot )!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Love-ly Distractions

So - i've been thinking: its been a rough couple of weeks for me, what with itchy skin, then appendicitis and abdominal surgery, and just in the past 4 or 5 days i've developed some pretty strong pain in my lower back and hips. I dont want to complain too much because a bazillion women have been pregnant before me, and apparently the back and hip pain is pretty damn common.... but hey, knowing all that doesnt make it any less annoying. However, in the spirit of loving my pregnancy, and loving my body, and loving my life i thought it might be nice to set down a list of 5 things that i'm loving right now ( and are distracting me from the twinges in my back and hips. Stupid twinges. )

1. Facials: and we may aswell count massage in this category aswell. I've just came back from having an organic facial and upper body massage this morning and i have to tell you - it was bliss. Anybody who has ever had a professional facial or massage is feeling me on this, and anyone who hasnt - well, you people are missing out. If you can get past the fact that a stranger is touching you in a somewhat intimate way ( and sometimes in somewhat intimate places... ) then an hour set aside for a massage is the perfect " me " time. I'm thinking i might go once a month from now til the bubba arrives.

2. Shemar Moore : Need i say anything but - look at him ? Yes, i'm in a committed and very loving relationship with Mr Gil but Mr Moore over there is a nice little piece of " look, but dont touch " eye candy. You know how when you're in a relationship each partner gets to have a " list " ? The list of fantasy partners that they would theoretically be given a free card to sleep with if you had the chance ? I havent told Mr Gil yet, but Shemar Moore is totally on my list. Gimme, gimme... gimme, gimme Moore!

3. Garlic : Hello, pregnancy cravings! Rather than crave icecream with pickles or chocolate coated onions ( or any other disgusting concoction you can come up with .... ), i've been craving garlic. Specifically garlic bread, but meals with a good garlick-y component will suffice. I've heard that too much garlic in the third trimester will give me heartburn. And i've also heard that a lot of heartburn gives you a baby born with a lot of hair. So best i can figure is:
Garlic + 3rd tri = heartburn = fluffy headed baby.
Whats wrong with that ? If its a fluffy headed boy, i am so styling his hair up like Wolverine!

4. Reading: So simple, but something i dont always take time out for. Of course i've been reading a lot on pregnancy lately - pregnancy and parenting magazines, health care guides, pregnancy specific websites - but i'm talking more about books. Novels. Literature. I went through a major love affair with reading this past December/January : i knocked over " Pride and Prejudice ", " Jane Eyre ", " Perfume: The Story of a Murderer " and " Everything is Illuminated " all in that two month period and then i took a brief break before starting " Lolita ". It was a great book, but when it was finished the passion for devouring books had vanished. Well - its back baby! I finished " Sense and Sensibility " last night and now i'm on the prowl for the next great literary adventure....

5. Naps - the naps are soon to dry up ( seeing as i'm allowed back to work next week ) but for the last fortnight or so they've been a blessing. Everyone loves a good nap right ? People who say they dont need them or think napping is lazy - poo to you! Naps are a great way to spend a lazy winter afternoon when your home alone, plus they have restorative powers. At least, thats what i'm sticking with!