I Think I Can.... ?

Guess what's coming on Monday?

4/52 - Attack Of The Tully-dactyl!

Flynn - playing in the shower to stay cool

Tully - she's learnt to screech!

Oh yes, Tully has well and truly found that high-pitched screechy noise that babies inevitably find around the 5-6 month mark.... And its driving me insane! Its not even really a squeal, it is definitely more of a screech.... In fact it reminds me so much of a wild animal screech that I've renamed her after everyone's favourite squawking dinosaur. Yes, my daughter is now the Tully-dactyl! 

( You know, like pterodactyl? Only without the wings or the extinction ).

Linking up again with the 52 Project over at CheAndFidel

Five Months After The Event, Here Is Tully's Birth Story

Those of you who were here for the lead up to Tullys birth would remember that, in the last few weeks before she arrived, I was well and truly over being pregnant. I loved the ' I'm having a baby! ' part of being pregnant, but by the end I wasn't so much a fan of the ' this baby is killing my back/thighs/lady bits ' part of the whole pregnancy journey. I had an appointment with the obstetrician on a Wednesday and spoke to him about the aches and pains and whatever else was happening, and he told me that, although bubs head wasn't fully engaged, because my first labour was relatively short - at a grand total of 6 hrs from first contraction to birth - that I should go straight to the hospital when I started noticing contractions. After all, he said ' Second labours are usually much shorter than firsts'.

So, when I started noticing contractions around midday on Friday, I told Flynn Mummy had to go see the nurse and off we went to the local hospital. The nurse put the monitor on and confirmed that yes, they were real contractions, though they weren't very close together yet and they were still very mild. A doctor did an examination and told me nothing was opening up down there yet despite the contractions, so the best bet was just go home ( a 5 min drive away ) and potter around for a while til they came on stronger.

Me being all kinds of bumpy about 2 weeks before Tully was born

Skip the next 16 hrs - where I had dropped Flynn to my parents for the night, walked the dog, rocked on a fitball, watched two movies, and managed a fitfull nights sleep. I headed back to the hospital at 5am, not because the contractions were stronger, but because they were still just 'there ' and I wanted to know what the hell was going on and I was beginning to get very anxious. I had a tiny bit of a show when getting a urine sample for the nurse but other than that, still no real dilation to speak of. A wonderful visiting doctor came in to see me to have a chat..... Where I promptly burst into tears and had a full scale panic attack. We discussed my anxieties and after a phone call to Mick we decided the best course of action for me and my family was to come back at 7pm that night to be induced ( even though the baby wasn't technically due for another 10 days ).

I had one lot of gels put in and was left to sleep the night. A nurse checked on me at 6am and, surprise surprise, no more dilation. The contractions were still present, just super mild. I wasn't really even noticing them anymore but the monitor could still detect them. The nurse, whom I knew through my work, seeing me on the verge of tears again, patted my leg and told me the doctor would be back soon, and to give her buzz if I needed anything else. 'Soon ' turned out to be 4 hrs later - he apologized and said that the nurse should have called for him at 6am for the second lot of gel , which he then gave and put me on the monitor, and went off on his rounds....

.... Which is when the contractions ramped up. It had been explained to me that the gels used in induction are just to soften the cervix and don't actually bring on contractions, so I was very much excited..... It was all happening! However, the nurses told me the doctor wouldn't be back for another 5 hours so I'd just have to work my way through the contractions upstairs in my room. Which I did, by pacing the hallways, rocking my hips and playing countless games of 'Words with Friends ' against random opponents. By 1:30pm I was starting to be in some serious discomfort and I was bored by myself so called my Mum to keep me company. By 3pm, half an hr before the doctor was due back, I was beginning to have to stifle my moans of pain because I didn't want to disturb all the mums and bubs on the ward. Luckily when my mum went down to the nurses desk to ask for some help the doc had just come in, so he whisked me straight down to a delivery suite.

After half an hour of monitoring and the confirmation that my cervix had opened enough, the doctor broke my waters.... And then it was really on! The contractions intensified quickly - I had barely had enough time to strip off, jump in the spa  ( and out again! ) and have my mum rub my back before I felt like I was ready to push. Mum said I couldn't possibly be ready - the same as she did with Flynn! - but called a midwife anyway. I was already back on the bed ready to push, so sure was I that my baby girl was ready... And again, like with Flynn, I was right. I started pushing before the midwife was ready, and sucked on the gas for dear life. It may have felt like ring-of-fire agony in the moment, but even so, I felt much more in control than I did birthing Flynn. The midwife had enough time to yell our for a second midwife to help and, after just 5 minutes of active pushing, there she was, our gorgeous baby girl. She had a burst blood vessel in one eye because I'd got her out of there so fast but,other than that, she was magnificently perfect.

And there you be - an epically long post for what turned out to be an epically long 'labour' .... 53 hours of contractions before Miss Tully arrived. And, seeing as today is Tuesday, this epically long post is linked up over at EssentiallyJess for ' I Blog On Tuesdays '!

So Jealous Right Now

Jealous? Me? Yes, I will freely admit to it - I am jealous of my sister at the moment and I'm not afraid to write a status about it on Facebook. See, my sister is a trainee nurse and she is currently in the middle of a two week work placement at our local base hospital, where she has been working in the maternity ward. I was so excited for her to go there a) because I'm proud of her putting her dreams into action and b) because its the maternity ward, where she would get to experience labour and birth, albeit from a spectators vantage point. And that's where the jealousy comes in - I wanna see little babies being born!

There we is, me and my sister, rocking it wedding style!

I've given birth twice, so I know that although a natural, vaginal birth hurts like the proverbial bitch, its also an amazing, joyous, emotional thing - and I would love to experience that from the other side. I'd love to be in the room with a labouring mother, to help her through all the pain, and the nerves, and the ' I.Just.Want. To.Go.HOME! ' that inevitably happens around the last transition. My sister was telling me about a few of the births she got to attend this past week ( and no, no confidential patient details were shared ) and this little pang of ' I wish I could have seen that .... ' hit me. Which I then confessed to because its no secret that I think babies and births are amazingly awesome.

All of which resulted in my sister saying that when she has a baby, I can TOTALLY  be in the labour suite with her - and probably her partner, and our mum. So not the exclusive support person but I'll take what I can get. Now all I have to do is wait for her to be ready, willing and able to have a baby and its on!
( Oh, and the whole conversation reminded me that I haven't posted Tullys birth story yet. Perhaps I should get onto that.... )

3/52 - Learning To Be In The Picture

Tully: pondering big world issues.... Or watching the trees move outside?

Flynn: trying to be on his best behaviour out at 'special tea ' for my birthday

Only 3 weeks into this project and I've found myself inspired to play around a little more. I don't have a fancy, expensive camera, and I had thought it was pretty much an automatic, point-and-shoot. But, on closer inspection, I've found it has quite a few settings so I'm looking forward to mixing it up a little.

And its not just me who'll be learning over the next 52 weeks - Flynn has a thing or two to learn about being in a photo. Namely how to sit still, and how to smile without doing the huge ' cheeeeeese! ' grin and shutting his eyes. If only you could see how many pictures I have of my son with his eyes shut and a mouthful of teeth showing!

Linking up again this week for the 52 Project over at CheAndFidel ....

( Birthday) Girl Crushin'

Yay - today actually is my birthday! And remember when you were a young kid and to celebrate you got to have a sweet birthday party? And if you'd been really good and asked nicely and nagged enough you got to have a slumber party? Slumber parties were the best kind of parties a young girl could wish for - a bunch of your best girlfriends, some movies ( on VHS ), some chocolate and lollies and chips and lots of Coke in an effort to stay up all night long! ( Clearly our parents weren't overly concerned about childhood obesity back then.... ) Point is, slumber parties were awesome, and they were only super awesome when all your best friends were there. And what are best friends if not your favourite girl crushes?

So, in the spirit of the slumber party - and because this is my blog, and its my birthday and I'll fantasise if I want to - I present to you a list of celebrities that I have a bit of a girl crush on, and that would so totally be invited to my ( completely hypothetical ) slumber party this year!

1. Keira Knightley - its probably partly because I have a girl crush on her version of Elizabeth Bennett, but I love Keira. Every interview with her I've ever read she comes across as completely down to earth and self-deprecating. Plus she has gooooorgeous clothes - and you know that if we were anywhere near the same clothing size she would totally let you borrow them!

2. Jennifer Lawrence - Jennifer is my newest girl crush to my list. I think I like her so much because she's all legs and boobs and womanly curves and proud of it. Plus, I've seen a few interviews with her now and she's a bit hilarious. I reckon she'd be the girlfriend who'd appreciate a drink, a dirty joke and a cheeky perve on the opposite sex!

3. Zooey Deschanel - I feel like Zooey would totally get all my little quirks and idiosyncrasies. I mean, she is pretty much the poster girl quirk ( or ' manic pixie ' as I've heard her described ) and i'm totally going on the assumption that the real Zooey isn't that far removed from her character of Jess on " The New Girl ". ( Also, can't Jess and Nick get together already? ) Oh, and you should totally check out the blog/e-zine she helped create, HelloGiggles .....

4. Anne Hathaway - I feel like Anne is one of these actresses who really polarise people.... You either love her or you hate her. I come down firmly on the side of 'love'. I think she's funny, and vibrant and after her accidental, lady parts flashing ' wardrobe malfunction ', I think she proved herself very classy. Doesn't every good group of girlfriends need a bit of class?

So there you be - my celebrity girl crushes. Now if only they lived closer, were a few sizes bigger so I could borrow their clothes and, oh yea, if only they actually KNEW ME.
So who are you girl crushing on? And would you come to my slumber party if I asked?

Linking up again this week with EssentiallyJess for I Blog On Tuesdays!

Happy Birthday To Me, I'm 103....

... OK, no, not really. Its actually my birthday tomorrow, and I'm only turning 29 ( though at the end of some days with two kidlets at home, I FEEL like I'm 103 ). I don't suppose that your 29th birthday is all that special, but in the interests of getting my blog on I thought I'd just post a little musing on another birthday reached.

Because, let's face it, another year older also means another year lived right? And I think I can say I really did my best to 'live' the past year - not just 'live' as in breath and stay alive, but ' live ' as in I tried to make the most of the opportunities that came my way; to really dig in and enjoy the little moments that make up my day-to-day life. Its a skill that I think that I've come to learn over the last almost-29 years, and I'm just now beginning to utilise.

So what does this, my 29th year, hold? What things do I have to look forward to? The little things, like taking my kids ( and Mick! ) to zee the new Wiggles in March; to drives around the zoo and trips to the playground; to seeing the new Superman movie ( ' Man of Steel ', directed by Zach Snyder.... Hurry up and be released already! ) and to date nights with my hubby. Plus there are the bigger things like a certain gorgeous baby-womans 1st birthday in August, my hubby 'Dirty 30 ' in November and a few days in Nelson Bay booked for late December.

So, on the eve of my birthday, here's to the big things, the little things, the sad and the happy things.... And here's to meeee!

Calming The Mother-Pluck Down!

I've officially come to the end of my tether people. I mentioned in Mondays post that Flynns behaviour has been steadily driving me nuts lately and I was dreading spending a full week at home with him. We actually didn't start out too badly but after an afternoon of screaming from Tully ( damn you teething during a heatwave! ) I kind of lost my shit at him when he lost his shit at me. Over having his hair washed, mind you, of all bloody things. Yes, ladies and gentleman, I have well and truly hit the wall.

In fact, I am so bamboozled that I have sat down and read my first ever 'parenting book'. Sat for the last 45 minutes and tore through it, cover to cover.

Its called ' Be Calm ' by Michelle Kennedy, and I picked it up from my aunty when she let my sister and I take the pick of her stuff before she moved to Townsville ( a pre-garage sale rummage, if you will. I got a heap of great books for the kids too ). Its not a weighty tome, but rather an easy to read ' how bout you try this? ' type of instructional. It actually reads a bit like a conversation with a friend, or a mothers group, which I liked about it. It made me feel better to see that I actually already practice a lot of the strategies in the book, and I'm kind of looking forward to tomorrow to see if the opportunity arises to try some more.

A mother, looking forward to a tantrum? Sounds mental doesn't it? But even if its just for tomorrow, I'm going to look at Flynns epic nana-chucking as a chance to practice being a better Mum.
That's after my 'me-time' first thing in the morning though. Even if that 'me-time' only involves doing the grocery shopping without any children. It may not be everybodys idea of ' me-time' but when you're a busy mum, you'll take what you can get!

2/52 - Beating The Heat

Tully taking the plunge in Grandma and Poppys bathroom sink.

Unless you've been living under a rock - a very HOT rock! - you would know its been rather warm around these parts lately. Heatwave kind of warm. Unless we're out in public, my children have been living practically naked.... One lolling about in just a nappy, the other running around in just his undies. But when lazing under the air con in just your unmentionables doesn't quite cut it, what's a baby to do? Well she strips right down and takes a dip in her grandparents bathroom sink. Complete with light filtering in the opaque window behind her head, which kind of gives her a halo-type glow and makes her look like an angel. A tiny, chubby, naked angel.

Linking up with the 52 Project over at CheAndFidel!

I Wore A Bikini In Public And Lived To Tell The Tale

OK, so it was actually a tankini - the point is that I wore my swimmers in public, in front of strangers, without the cloak of a T-shirt or boardies, and the world didn't end. Time did not stop while everyone pointed and laughed at my post baby body. In fact, I don't think anybody even noticed and if they did, they certainly didn't care.

Here I am. Jokes - my swimmers are blue! Oh, and that's a hippo.

I'll admit - I've never been supremely body confident. Even as a 6-day-a-week gym going size 10 I still had 'problem areas ' I'd rather not have shared with the general public ( hello there thighs! ). I've always worn board shorts to the beach or to the pool as a cover up, even if I looked a bit out of place amongst the locals in their string bikinis on trips to the coast. So when we were invited to a birthday pool party for Flynns little 'girlfriend' I asked myself the question - hmm, where are your trusty board shorts?

But then there was another little voice that piped up - who cares? Why couldnt I just wear a pair of swimmers to a party for a 3 yr old? I tossed up for a while - 5 months post baby and I am a size 12 and back to pre-baby weight but the pre-baby shape still alludes me. Normally I'm OK with that ( hell, I'm no celebrity busting to get back into shape within a week! )..... But in a pair of swimmers? This daughter of mine has left me with a few extra lumps, and bumps, and stretchy bits. Did I really need people seeing all that?

In the end, I decided that no, I didn't NEED them to see it - but if they caught a glimpse of dimpled thigh on my way into the water to swim with my children then so bloody what? Swimming and having fun with my kids in the 43 degree heat was more important to me than worrying about what a bunch of people I didn't really know thought of my generous booty. So I discreetly slipped my shorts off, carried my bubba girl the 2 metres or so to the pool and.... Nothing happened. Nobody booed, hissed, laughed, heckled or otherwise paid my boardie-less body any attention. And I was OK.

Perhaps I can say - fear conquered?
Linking up again with ' I blog on Tuesdays ' over at EssentiallyJess!

Wish Me Luck - I'm Gonna Need It!

This week my sons day carer ( or ' daycare Mum ' as we refer to her ) goes on holidays. This means a full week of having Flynn at home with Tully and I and I will freely admit - I'm cacking my dacks a little. This is akin to the dreaded school holidays for mums of older kids but its not so much the thought of having two children at home at once that's got me running scared - hell, I do that all the time! - its the pressure of keeping Flynns little temper in check ( and, in turn my own ) that's worrying me.

No daycare for a week? Argh!

I mentioned a few posts ago that Flynns behaviour has gone haywire in the last month or so. Don't get me wrong, he's still a gorgeous, friendly little boy, but he's really starting to push the boundaries of what is and isn't acceptable. And what's bugging me the most is his tiny little temper - he isn't throwing many foot-stomping-scream-his-chops-off tantrums. No, my boy is using his words to their full, hurtful effect. Oh yes, at 3 years old, he has learned, and will use, the dreaded ' I hate you! ', followed by a arch off to his room and the slamming of his door. 

At first, it really hurt me. On our road trip home from Sydney a fortnight ago he said ' I hate you Mum! ' 23 times. I know - I counted. I cried. I dropped him at my parents to have a sleepover because I couldnt be near him for one more second. But after a chat with my dad - the wise old parenting owl that he is - I am trying to ignore the nasty things Flynn has been saying, to turn them around, or distract from them by changing the subject. I think it is starting to work but there has still been a period of everyday for the last two weeks where I have either wanted to burst into tears or throw my son in a box and mail him to China.

So I'm kind of apprehensive going into this week, but I'm trying to stay positive by giving us a 'fun ' activity to do everyday. Today is craft day ( I'm going to bust out the PlayDoh I hid at Xmas, and go crazy with a glue stick and coloured paper ), Wednesday he has asked to make Elmo cupcakes, and Thursday we're going to take a do at the local town pool. I'm going to hope and wish that we manage to stay friends for the week, and that Flynn's ' listening ears ' miraculously stay working the entire time too. Wish me luck!

1/52 - Playing Catch Ups

OK, OK.... As with most awesome bloggy things, I am late to the party, but after reading about it on a few different blogs I've decided to join in the ' 52 Project ' over at CheAndFidel. The aim is to post a 'portrait' of your kids ( though some have chosen to photograph partners, or themselves ) every week for a year. You know, hence the '52 ' part. It looks like the Linky is going to be posted every Monday so I am definitely in catch up mode here..... With that in mind, and seeing as I didn't do it at Christmas, please enjoy my kids Christmas photos from 2012 :

Edited: Totally forgot to credit my gorgeous friend Ree for these images! If your in central west NSW and looking for a great photographer search ' Speaking OneThousandWords ' on Facebook!

Dear Heat Wave

Dear Heat Wave,

Yes, I know its summer.... Its SUPPOSED to be hot, I get it. In fact, I'm quite the fan of summer in general, its just this run of days over 40 degrees Celsius is a bit much. Its not even the heat itself that is annoying me, because i have pretty awesome air-conditioning and its working like a champ. No, no its...its...Its too hot to be outdoors - unless you want to die of heatstroke - and this being cooped up in the house with cranky 3 yr old is killing me!

This is his cranky face. I don't like it.

We both have a bit of cabin fever, and DVDs and playing trucks is only fun for so long. My boy is an outdoorsy kid, but its too hot for tricycles, or scooters, or digging in the dirt - as crazy as it sounds, its even too hot for running under the sprinkler because the sun has too much bite, even with a hat and sunscreen!

So, if you could just, you know, please rack off that would be great. Even just dropping the temperature by 5 degrees would make so much difference. Its either that, or this mama may just crack and pray for winter!

Dear Gift Buying Family

Dear family members who may like to buy me a birthday gift,

Thanks for thinking of me! As you know my 29th birthday is coming up and I thought I could give you guys a hand by making you a quick little list of things I might like to be gifted this year. And no, its not a crazy hypothetical list like the one I did for Santa - these are real time, real place, things I actually would like to unwrap after some wicked indulgent birthday cake.( Wickedly indulgent birthday cake is NOT part of the list ).

First of all, I wouldn't mind getting a cute, comfy, set of PJs. This was actually prompted by a conversation I had with Flynn whereon he told me that's what he would like to get for me, but the more I thought on it, the more I thought it was a good idea. I like PJs, I like sleeping in PJs, I early morning cuddles with my babies in PJs, and I happen to currently be wearing two mismatched pairs, so a cute new set would be entirely wanted AND appropriate.

Next, the ' A Song of Ice and Fire ' series of books by George R. Martin - also known as the ' A Game of Thrones ' series. They were on my Christmas list but were one of the items that didn't quite make the Christmas cut. I'm kind of dying to watch the ' A Game of Thrones ' TV series but I refuse to watch it before I've read the books. If I don't receive the series for my birthday, I will be forced to buy them for myself, instead of spending more money on fabric at Spotlight. Mama does not want to lose her Spotlight money!

Lastly on the list - perhaps a voucher for a beauty treatment or a massage would be nice. Actually, how bout you combine those ideas and get me a pedicure and lower leg massage. Apparently Aquarians are supposed to suffer from ankle and lower leg ailments and I am so feeling that lately! Maybe its a leftover symptom from all the crappy circulation you have as a pregnant lady but my feet and ankles are killing me! You get me that pedicure/massage and jot only will I get some pain relief but I'll get pretty little toes-ies are aswell. May be with some sparkle?

And that be all. Of course I will accept gifts that are not on the list, this letter is simply to give you some direction. ( But not One Direction, because I'm not turning 12 and they kind of make me vomit in my mouth a little ).
Thanks a bunch,
The Impending Birthday Girl

Dear Flynn, Aged 3 Years - Happy Birthday!

Dear Flynn,
A week and a bit ago you turned 3 years old - Mummy can hardly believe that you've only been around for 3 years because it seems like you've been with us forever! Even though 3 years is such a relatively short time, I'm amazed at how much bigger and older you seem to have grown in the year since your last birthday.

We started out the year with a visit from the Dummy Fairy - getting rid of those dummies was just one step of many you took this year changing from toddler to ' big boy '. You started preferring showers to baths ( after Daddy convinced you that a shower is really just an upside down sprinkler ), you can drink from a normal cup like a big kid ( even though you still spill a little and  prefer a sippy cup most of the time ) and the big one - you mastered potty training! It was a bloody long and frustrating process but you now wear your big boy undies all day and you use the toilet - oh yes, TOILET, not potty! - all by yourself. We haven't quite started night training yet but I'm sure you'll take to it with ease.

You also became a big brother this year, which has been quite the game changer for you. You went through an a period of adjustment of course, one where you personified the word ' sook ', and a few times you've driven Mummy and Daddy completely up the wall, but mostly you've been awesome. You are a great big brother and your little sister adores you. Every morning you tell Tully that she's a great sister, or a beautiful princess, or that she is your little puddin' ' and she looks for you when you aren't here. The way you love her, and the way you help me look after her, makes Mummy and Daddy so proud.

Just as a quick aside - those little cogs in your head have been turning lately, and I think you've realised you can push peoples buttons to get a reaction. I know its natural to explore those boundaries but STOP DOING IT. I love your guts but if you keep up with the ratbag behaviour you may not make it to 4 years old! ( Kidding. Of course you will. You just might have to move in with Grandma and Poppy though ).
Love your guts little man, so so sooooo stinking much!
Your Mama

Today I'm linking up for the first time ever with I Blog On Tuesdays, the Linky party hosted every week by EssentiallyJess

Dear Me in 2013

Dear Me,

Just writing to remind you what your goals are for the year. I'd call them resolutions but I really do like the word ' goal ' better - it makes me feel like its something I can work towards, whereas 'resolution' feels to me like something that must be done straight away. Probably not how the dictionary defines them, but hey, its how I roll.  Anyhoodle, as in years passed, you have two goals:

The Conceptual Goal - ' to focus on being better, not on being perfect '. You know what I'm referring too - towards the end of 2012 you got a little too caught up in needing to be then' perfect ' wife, the ' perfect ' mother, doing things 'perfectly ' or not doing them at all. It got you down a little, yea? We both know perfection is unattainable, right? Right. So this year we you are going to focus on getting better at certain things, and working towards being great.... But knowing you'll never be perfect and that's just fine. So instead of crying because your house doesn't look like the cover of Real Living, focus on the fact that you've managed to fold that basket of washing, pick up the toys in the lounge room and cook a tasty dinner without neglecting either of your children.

The Physical Goal - ' to qualify for a decently sized home loan '. You already have a duplex, Mick already has a loan on a house that isn't even his in BumFuck Junction. Because of both of these mortgages and business loans the amount we could borrow for a new home isn't overly generous. But there are a few things you can do in the next 6 months that can change that - don't let your husband chicken out of them or, if he does, put on your big girls panties and take charge yourself. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying the goal is even to buy a house this year ( though that would be nice ) just simply to qualify for the money, and start looking.

Good luck with both of those awesome sauce!
Your fabulous self!

* I have decreed this ' Letters Week '. Every post this week will be a hypothetical letter - today to myself. Tune in then rest of the week to find out who else gets one!

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah

No, I haven't forgotten you. No, I didn't do the obligatory Christmas or New Years post - not because I forgot, but simply because in was too busy and a bit too lazy once I'd got all my other crap done. I've also just come home from a few days down in Sydney with my little family, which means not only did I have to unpack from the trip but I also still had all the Christmas and Flynns birthday chaos to contend with. Day 3 back from our road trip and my house is starting to resemble its normal self again. Which, mind you, is looking tidier than it has for a long time because I actually managed to stick with my cleaning schedule throughout December - yay me!

So - there are posts coming. Perhaps a late ' here are my adorable kiddies at Christmas! ', definitely a rundown of our trip with photo evidence and quite possibly a ' what i want for my birthday! ' post later in the month.

Oh - and hello 2013!