Digging It Out, Letting It Go....

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  I've been digging my way out of my little black hole for a few months now ( with varying degrees of success ) but, over the weekend i realised something: for the first time in a while i am excited. Maybe excited isnt quite the right word, but i find myself looking forward to things, excited at the prospect of what is hopefully to come.

  
  

  We are waiting very patiently for a pre-approval on a house loan ( my fingers are crossed for an answer this week! ) and we would then like to buy a house and land package; Tullys first birthday has been and gone but I am now hoping that my little man gets a spot in preschool, which would please him no end; we have a beach holiday coming up at Xmas and a sojourn to Sydney in January around my 30th birthday. There are, of course more day to day things on the horizon that i'm looking forward to, but i've found that rather than being anxious about these " big deals " i have, somehow, " let go " and I am now looking forward to the future rather than worrying and stressing about what is yet to come.

  
  

  Dont get me wrong - i mean, i'm still sweating on that answer from the bank, but i'm not fixated on it and having to control the urge to ring EVERYDAY to see if there is an answer. I'm daydreaming about that house but if we dont get the money we need and we cant build my world wont fall apart - yes i'll be disappointed but there are other options and we can get back to the homeownership dream later.

  
  

  It all seems so simple doesnt it : Just. Let. Go. But in the depths of that black hole, when that pin prick of light waaaaay up the top seems so bloody small, letting go is about the last thing you can handle doing. " Letting go " means acknowledging that so much is out of my hands and that no matter how much i stress and worry and ponder on it, it wont effect any potential outcome. I dont know how i did it this time around, but some part of me just voluntarily gave up that hold.

  
  

  And now i'm trying to make everyday a positive, to start the day out with the attitude that ' today WILL be a good day " and trying to overcome any obstacles that might get in the way. Some days i succeed in doing that, some days i dont. For the most part, the days are starting to be sunnier, even when i do have the odd cloudy patch....

Dear Tully, Aged 12 Months - Happy 1st Birthday!

To my little Muffin ( and Daddy's little Woo-Woo ),
Happy birthday my gorgeous girl! I'm a day late writing you this letter but with all the fun we were having playing yesterday it kind of skipped my mind. And we do have fun, because the past few months have seen you develop into a very cheeky, funny little lady with a BIG personality.

Having fun smashing a cake....like a pro!

You 'talk ' non-stop, jibber jabbering all day long to anyone who'll care to listen; you've learnt to play peekaboo and chasies and think pretending to go to sleep is the most hilarious thing ever. You take after your Mummy by using your eyebrows to full effect when you speak and you take after your Daddy by getting a bit grumpy when you're tired ( he he, sorry Daddy ). Your brothers influence is everywhere - you love playing with trucks and blocks, excitedly yell ' toot toot! ' when Thomas the Tank Engine is on and love to explore in the backyard - copious amounts of dirt and leaves being eaten, of course.

Since my last letter you have:

* expanded your vocabulary, at least two fold. I think your favourite word right now is Ma-Ma ( Grandma is very pleased that you love her so much ) though it was pretty funny when Flynn popped off and you looked at him and told him ' poo! '

* learnt to crawl. I wasn't so sure it was going to happen but you got there in the end, even if your style isn't exactly conventional.

* sleep went backwards for a while but you've come good and are back to just the one wake up a night. Mostly.

* taken your first steps. Numerous little steps in fact. Mummy has a feeling that walking isn't all that far off!

And that be it for now my love. From the tiny newborn you were a year ago you've grown into our precious little sweet pea, a beautiful little girl we would all be lost without. And Mummy loves you very, very, very much. To the moon and back even.

Love you Curly Fries!

Your Mummy

Over All? We Love Our Overalls!

So I completed one of the items on my ' looking forward to ' list. Oh yes, those right there are the overalls that I was looking forward to making for Tully. I had been gifted the fabric and had spent a bit of time Googling tutorials for girls overalls, and Pinning inspiration, so I took a leap, drafted a pattern from a pair of pants and a tank top that fit her, and that's what I came up with.

They aren't perfect - I've redrafted the pattern so that the pant legs come up higher over her waist, and the brace part is shaped differently ( and will be much neater inside! ) - but overall I think I did OK. For one thing they look cute, and furthermore they fit alright and Tully managed to crawl around all day in them without having them fall apart. I think I can call that a pass?

So that's one thing gone from the list - though I might replace it with ' looking forward to sewing some overalls from Tully - mach 2 ! '

On The Horizon - Things I'm Looking Forward To In The Next Month

• 1. Making Tully a pair of overalls - i was gifted some corduroy leftovers and rather than make a dress or a pinafore, i decided i'd like to try my hand at something a little trickier. I've surfed Pinterest, read some tutorials and i have drafted my own (basic) pattern. My fingers are crossed that i might get enough time this week while Flynn is at daycare to get creative.

  
  

  2. A date with my husband - there is no calendar date set for this one but sometime in the next month i'd like to go out for a nice Thai dinner with my husband, sans children. I even have a cute new skirt to wear, courtesy of Kirsty at Obsessive Creative Design, via the competition i won a month or two back over at Little Old Souls :)

  
  

  3. Tully's 1st birthday - i know, i know... you cant believe she's almost one! Neither can I, but the fact remains that our cheeky little baby-woman is turning one in Tminus 27 days. There will be no huge party, but there will definitely be birthday cake, which means i best get cracking and come up with something cute and memorable for her first special day.

  
  

  4. A bank holiday on August the 5th - which doubles as the 'picnic day ' for my company. And that, my friends, means a day off from work with kids still booked into daycare.... which means a whole day to myself. It may sound a little selfish but i'm very much looking forward to a whole day of reading, sewing, watching a movie, taking a nap, exactly when i want to and without interruption.

  
  

  5. A photo shoot for Tullys birthday - we're doing what is known as a 'cake smash ', which is going to be a) unbelievably cute and b) just a bit fun because the photographer is a good friend of mine. Plus, my baby girl is quite the piggy-guts so i'm sure she'll have no problem smashing the cake up for eating!

Missing - Again!

Damn you depression for stealing my motivation. Again. My blog mojo has gone missing and just all your fault. You,sir, suck hairy dogs proverbials. 

That is all.

No Flynn, Its Not Christmas

• Its that time of year again - toy sale time! I will freely admit that i love the annual toy sales from the big department stores : anything that saves me money on Christmas gifts, makes it easy for me to hide said gifts ( just leave them on layby until the day you want to wrap them! ) and, thus, makes Christmas that bit less stressful is a winner with me. I even enjoy browsing through the catalogues multiple times and picking out what gifts the children in my life might like. What i dont like is trying to get Flynn to understand that he isnt getting those gifts for a long while yet.

  
  

  

  
  

   All the parents out there will feel my pain - trying to explain to a very small person that yes, it IS a Christmas catalogue but NO it isnt Christmas is very, very frusturating. At 3.5 years old Flynn is old enough to want to trawl his way through the catalogues, marvelling at all the cool new toys, and very helpfully directing me to the pages which contain something he would like ( for the record.... that means EVERY PAGE ). However, he isnt quite old enough to wrap his head around the idea that things on sale so you can save money for a time of year that is still months away.  Everyday for a week i've been asked:

  " But Mum - is it going to be Christmas tomorrow ?"

  " No Flynn, Christmas is still a long time away "

  " But Mum, Aunty Pippy already bought me some toys. Do i get them tomorrow? "

  " No Flynn, those presents are for Christmas "

  " But Mum - is it going to be Christmas tomorrow ? "

  
  

  ....Cue eye roll and tearing out of hair. I have started explaining to him that there are 7 birthdays in our family before its Christmas time, so he'll just have to wait til all the birthdays are over and done with before he can even think about getting any gifts for himself. I plan on hitting up the Big W toy sale the day after it starts, so once my shopping and lay-bying has been done the already dog-earred Big W catalogue may have to go mysteriously missing...

  
  

  Are you a Toy Sale-r? Do you lay by or pay outright and then hide the gifts from little prying eyes? Has your husband also picked himself out a gift from the 'toy' catalogue, like an adult sized child?

All Wired Up!

• I'm just throwing this out there but has anyone seen the episode of " The Big Bang Theory " where Sheldon drinks heaps of coffee and ends up running around the apartment, high as a kite on the caffeine, thinking his Flash Gordon? Yes? Well my friends - that was me on the weekend, all hopped on caffeine so i could drive the return leg of a long roadtrip and stay awake at the wheel. I dont normally drink caffeine ( yes, you read that right, this here lady does NOT drink coffee ) so the mega can of Mother energy drink my husband bought me worked a treat!

  
  

  Long story short, we had to drive roughloy 4.5 hrs down to Wagga Wagga to pick up our new truck. Obviously, we travelled together on the way down, then Mick drove his truck home, leaving me to man the ship ( as it were ) in our car. Its not that i havent driven long trips before - i used to do it all the time in my early 20's, visiting friends who had left town - but since becoming all domesticated and having my husband do all the driving on roadtrips i've become accustomed to snoozing away in the passenger seat. That just wasnt an option this time, so a big can of caffeinated, guaran-ed energy drink and a refreshed IPod playlist and i was raring to go.

  
  

  So raring to go in fact that my husband wondered what was wrong with me. I think he may have been able to see me in his rear vision mirror, going full rock star kareoke style behind him in the car, all loopy on energy drink and pretending to be auditioning for The Voice. Which, mind you, i would totally have made it on because i am an awesome roadtrip kareoke singer.

  
  

  And, for the record, i would definately be Team Ricky ( swoon ).

  
  

  Tell me i'm not the only one - roadtripping solo is the BEST place for your best rockstar impression.... right?
  
  IBOT time again over at EssentiallyJess .... Come join us!