Have you ever wondered if your slightly precognitive ? Not really seriously, but just " hey, i wonder if ? ". See, the only reason i ask is because i keep having the same two kinds of dreams over and over - not every night but every few, maybe once a weekish, and that has to mean something doesnt it ? The dreams arent always exactly the same, but the overall theme is, so am i maybe sort of seeing some kind of future happen, or is it all just metaphorical of something else.
Let me explain. The first dream involves me having children. Like i said, the exact scenario is never exactly the same however.... i always have twins, and always two boys. Boys with curly dark hair - unless its one the times i'm dreaming of actually being pregnant, which always involves me being at the doctors having an ultrasound and finding out i'm having twin boys. Oddly enough, these dreams never involve a husband of any sort, but i always get the impression i have one, i just never see him. Sometimes the dreams involve other people - various family and friends - but always me and twin, curly headed, dark haired boys.
The second dream has only just been occurring over the past few months and, to be honest, has on the odd occasion kind of freaked me out a little. In this one i have cancer - yep, cancer. Sucks doesnt it ? The scenarios in these dreams dont differ as much as with the twins - it always involves me either in the doctors office being told the news, or me tucked up in bed, not quite on the verge of death but pretty much accepting that my time is coming soon. I dont ever hear an official diagnoses, but i always get this odd feeling that its some kind of lymphoma and it sometimes spreads into my lungs .... this is the bit that has freaked me out a few times. The handful of occasions that the cancer is in my lungs i have woken up either completely breathless or feeling like my chest is full of concrete, totally weighed down. I have also woken up crying a few times from this dream and not because i have cancer and am dying, but rather because i dont appear to have anyone to love me during this time. By anyone i dont mean family and friends, i mean a man. Thats actually what sparked me to write this particular post - in last nights dream i knew i was dying, and all i wanted was for the man i loved to hold me, i had that distinct feeling .... but there was no-one. So i woke up crying, kind of oddly disturbed. And i'm not old in this dream either - its not like i'm an old woman who's come to the end of her road, who's husband may have already passed on - i'm young, maybe only a few years older than i am now.
So it goes back to am i slightly precognitive or not ? If i am, it means in the next few years i get married, fall pregnant, have twin boys and then die from cancer. What if only one of them is true ? Maybe i'm right about the twins thing, or maybe i'm right about the cancer thing. Or maybe i'm slightly nuts and they're both metaphors for something else thats plaguing my subconcious mind.
Either way, i guess time will tell....
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