Alright, yes - so i paraphrased the title of a Miley Cyrus song. But Miley Cyrus for all her tweensy cuteness and fake drama is sooooo much more tolerable ( to me ) than stupid Lady Gaga. Sometimes you dislike a singer or a band or an actor and you dont really know why - you just cant put your finger on it. Yea - well i can. Here, in a rough order, are the 7 reasons why i really just dont like the artist known as " Lady Gaga ":
7. She thinks her persona and her music are completely original. Innovative. Unable to be put into any one genre. Bah! The controversial outifts and styling ? This lady named Madonna - i dont know, you might have heard of her - did all that first. And as for the music .... lets just say the first time i heard " Papparazzi " on teh radio i thought it was Gwen Stefani. And now that i've said that, you can al totally picture Gwen ( or Katy Perry, or a desperate Kylie Minogue ) singing any one of Lady's songs.
6. She calls herself " Lady Gaga ". We all know she has a real name, and sure there are plenty of other famous people with stage names - but who is so pretentious as to name themselves " Lady " anything ? It could denote aristocracy or it could allude to her feminine manners .... although i dont think someone who constantly appears in public wearing only a leotard has a claim to either of those. In fact, i like to refer to her as Lady Gag - as in thats what she makes me do. Gag.
5. She carries a tea cup. And why does she carry the tea cup ? Is it to carry on the pretention mentioned in the previous bullet point ? No - apparently she did it to make the tea cup famous and thus prove the ridiculousness of fame. All it proved to me is that Lady Gaga herself s ridiculous. And lame.
4. Also, she refers to her tea cup as a " she ". Its bad enough that she carried one around, but she also refers to an inanimate object as a particular gender. I wonder if it has a name, and whether she's afraid of revealing it in case the tea cup becomes more famous than her. What would its name be - Lady Bone China ?
3. She went through a phase of having " cupids bow " lips painted on. Listen, your not Louise Brooks. And your not a Japanese geisha ( although i'm sure i've just given her an idea for her next video clip ). So i just want to tell you getting around in that stupid hat with her stupid painted on lips and carrying your stupid tea cup is.... Stupid.
2. The line " I wanna take a ride on your disco stick ". Seriously ? I dont think i really need to elaborate on this one.
And the number one thing i hate about Lady Gaga ?
1. She doesnt wear pants. We all know how i feel about leggings as pants. But Ms Gaga doesnt even bother with the leggings - its no pants day, every day, at Gaga's house. She constantly photographed in either a leotard or a bustier.... and shoes. Carrying a tea cup. But wearing no pants. Therefore, i cannot even contemplate seeing eye to eye with her.
People who insist on pants-less-ness are my enemies.....
*NOTE* I refuse to post a picture of the pants-less-ness. No. Freaking. Way.
Well, none of this has gone to plan.
10 hours ago