Digging It Out, Letting It Go....

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  I've been digging my way out of my little black hole for a few months now ( with varying degrees of success ) but, over the weekend i realised something: for the first time in a while i am excited. Maybe excited isnt quite the right word, but i find myself looking forward to things, excited at the prospect of what is hopefully to come.

  
  

  We are waiting very patiently for a pre-approval on a house loan ( my fingers are crossed for an answer this week! ) and we would then like to buy a house and land package; Tullys first birthday has been and gone but I am now hoping that my little man gets a spot in preschool, which would please him no end; we have a beach holiday coming up at Xmas and a sojourn to Sydney in January around my 30th birthday. There are, of course more day to day things on the horizon that i'm looking forward to, but i've found that rather than being anxious about these " big deals " i have, somehow, " let go " and I am now looking forward to the future rather than worrying and stressing about what is yet to come.

  
  

  Dont get me wrong - i mean, i'm still sweating on that answer from the bank, but i'm not fixated on it and having to control the urge to ring EVERYDAY to see if there is an answer. I'm daydreaming about that house but if we dont get the money we need and we cant build my world wont fall apart - yes i'll be disappointed but there are other options and we can get back to the homeownership dream later.

  
  

  It all seems so simple doesnt it : Just. Let. Go. But in the depths of that black hole, when that pin prick of light waaaaay up the top seems so bloody small, letting go is about the last thing you can handle doing. " Letting go " means acknowledging that so much is out of my hands and that no matter how much i stress and worry and ponder on it, it wont effect any potential outcome. I dont know how i did it this time around, but some part of me just voluntarily gave up that hold.

  
  

  And now i'm trying to make everyday a positive, to start the day out with the attitude that ' today WILL be a good day " and trying to overcome any obstacles that might get in the way. Some days i succeed in doing that, some days i dont. For the most part, the days are starting to be sunnier, even when i do have the odd cloudy patch....

Dear Tully, Aged 12 Months - Happy 1st Birthday!

To my little Muffin ( and Daddy's little Woo-Woo ),
Happy birthday my gorgeous girl! I'm a day late writing you this letter but with all the fun we were having playing yesterday it kind of skipped my mind. And we do have fun, because the past few months have seen you develop into a very cheeky, funny little lady with a BIG personality.

Having fun smashing a cake....like a pro!

You 'talk ' non-stop, jibber jabbering all day long to anyone who'll care to listen; you've learnt to play peekaboo and chasies and think pretending to go to sleep is the most hilarious thing ever. You take after your Mummy by using your eyebrows to full effect when you speak and you take after your Daddy by getting a bit grumpy when you're tired ( he he, sorry Daddy ). Your brothers influence is everywhere - you love playing with trucks and blocks, excitedly yell ' toot toot! ' when Thomas the Tank Engine is on and love to explore in the backyard - copious amounts of dirt and leaves being eaten, of course.

Since my last letter you have:

* expanded your vocabulary, at least two fold. I think your favourite word right now is Ma-Ma ( Grandma is very pleased that you love her so much ) though it was pretty funny when Flynn popped off and you looked at him and told him ' poo! '

* learnt to crawl. I wasn't so sure it was going to happen but you got there in the end, even if your style isn't exactly conventional.

* sleep went backwards for a while but you've come good and are back to just the one wake up a night. Mostly.

* taken your first steps. Numerous little steps in fact. Mummy has a feeling that walking isn't all that far off!

And that be it for now my love. From the tiny newborn you were a year ago you've grown into our precious little sweet pea, a beautiful little girl we would all be lost without. And Mummy loves you very, very, very much. To the moon and back even.

Love you Curly Fries!

Your Mummy

Over All? We Love Our Overalls!

So I completed one of the items on my ' looking forward to ' list. Oh yes, those right there are the overalls that I was looking forward to making for Tully. I had been gifted the fabric and had spent a bit of time Googling tutorials for girls overalls, and Pinning inspiration, so I took a leap, drafted a pattern from a pair of pants and a tank top that fit her, and that's what I came up with.

They aren't perfect - I've redrafted the pattern so that the pant legs come up higher over her waist, and the brace part is shaped differently ( and will be much neater inside! ) - but overall I think I did OK. For one thing they look cute, and furthermore they fit alright and Tully managed to crawl around all day in them without having them fall apart. I think I can call that a pass?

So that's one thing gone from the list - though I might replace it with ' looking forward to sewing some overalls from Tully - mach 2 ! '