So i have been tagged, by the lovely Miss Gates, and challenged to write a post - a letter addressed to my 13 year old self. It wont be pretty, but here goes:
Dearest 13 year old Me,
Your going to have to read this very carefully, and take all my advice to heart. I know you really dislike being told what to do - you do, after all, have a mind of your own - but if you dont pay attention that independent mind that you value so dearly will turn itself in on you to the point of wanting to die. THis is no exaggeration.
Firstly, your English teacher Miss Martin, is not an uppity bitch. She appears that way because this is her first proper teaching gig so she is nervous, by the end of Yr 8, you will both have a mutual admiration for each other. She will make you think Shakespeare is cool and encourage you to write, and you will realise that the only reason it appeared that she was picking on you was because she was trying to challenge what she recognised as a feirce intellect.
Secondly, be nicer to your mother. I know you are like chalk and cheese and sometimes you feel like you hate her - HATE her - but you know what? You dont. You hate you, you just dont realise it yet. Sure, she gets on your nerves because you are really as different as two people can be but she's trying to help you, to be there for you, to be the best mother she can be, in her own weird way. So cut her some slack, ok ?
Here's the important paragraph, so pay attention. I'm going to spell this out in big capital letters, because you need for this to sink in: NOBODY IS THINKING THAT ABOUT YOU. Thats right - nody is thinking you are any of the following - too smart; too fat; not pretty enough; not cool enough; uninteresting; unfriendly; retarded, lame, disgusting, hideous or anything other crap you can come up with in that over-active brain of yours. If you keep thinking, and believing, those things you're going to do your head in. You will wind up living inside your own thoughts and you will miss what are supposed to be the best years of your life. So if you want to have a boyfriend soemtime during high school, to be invited to all the " cool " parties, to be able to shar secrets with your girlfriends without fear of being ridiculed stop believing your own, made up press and begin putting yourself out there. You will most probably suffer embarrassments at some point, but you will thank me for it later.
What else ? You're going to go on a school excursion later this year. When you are crying by the pool and Ryan asks why and he sits next to and tries to have a conversation, do not shy away. You think he's cool, make sure he knows it.
Dont stop playing netball. You'll miss it when your 23 and too old and out of shape to get back into it.
By the end of Year 12, tell Casey to pull her finger out and stop being such bitch. You know she is, everyone else knows it, someone needs to let her in on the secret. Also, when you walk out of Mr Hanson's dont just walk out while he's stalked off down to the staff room. Wait til he comes back and proceed to tell him what a c**t he is - THEN walk out.
Try to get overseas sooner. Super Cheap was a nice place to work but you cam alive when you were living away. Keep going to counselling and stay on the anti-depressants to work through your shit than leave as soon is financially possible.
And i thats all i can think of right now. Aside from being good to your family - believe me, you will learn to appreciate them - and keeping up a positive mindset, i dont want to burden you with too much. I want you to use that independent thinking of yours ( i am still you after all, i'd die without my own free will ), i still want you to make your own minor mistakes. Just trust me on the big stuff i've mentioned, yea?
Your ever-loving, slightly-screwed-up, pseudo-hippie 23 year old self.
Well, none of this has gone to plan.
1 day ago