Actually, i'm back on the bike. The stationary bike at the gym that is.
Thats right, i kept the promise to myself and i went back to the gym this afternoon. I had an excuse not to go - my gym buddy has a bad back and it was acting up, so i could have said " Screw it, i'm not going either ", but i didnt - i came home, ate me a snack, got changed and went to the gym. I was actually really proud of myself for sticking it out. As we are all aware by now, i'm noty exactly a fan of being the centre of attention or being scrutinised, so the minute i walked in the door and found myself to be only the fourth woman there surrounded by big, burly, blokes i kind of got a little nervous. Not that i really had right to be i suppose, its just a little intimidating to be a gym newbie surrounded by men you know are probably there every day - or, on the other hand, are there partly so they can check out the chicks. I hate to generalise, but you know its based in truth. So i just found myself a little anxious plonking down on a machine next to a guy who could probably quite easily pick me up with one arm ( although, that thought is also kind of sexy...muscles are good ), not because i thought he was going to try and break me, just because i didnt want him to look at me and think i was puny or something. Which i suppose, in comparison, i am, but thats not the point.
The point is - i'm trying. I'm being pro-active. I'm taking my health - both physical, emotional and mental - into my own hands. I pushed myself to stay, and work, and do what i could without being put off by everyone else. I'm making an effort to be outside of my house in an area where there are other people, 99% of whom i do not know. Perhaps i will ask one of the burly hot guys to help me put those big heavy weights on one of the machines - that'll at least give one of us an opening to a conversation. But not just yet, that will come in time.
Let me work on my glutes and my triceps, and the rest will follow....