Yes, you read it right - my butt is getting bigger and its all my fault. Although, my mum could have shrunk my pants in the wash* but i dont think thats it. No, I think my new found love of exercise is giving me a bubble butt. I blame this one machine at the gym ( again, I dont know its technical name... ), the one where you lie on your stomach and hook your feet around the pegs and then kick your legs backwards so your feet tap your bum. You know, that one. I think the repetitive motion is toning the muscle ( as it should! ) and, consequently, its making my butt " higher ". That makes sense right ? I mean, the last time i had my measurements taken by a trainer my waist had slimmed, the circumference of my thighs had gone down and my upper arms had lost flab - but my bottom had increased a centimetre ( or half an inch for you North American type people ). Not fair. Pretty soon I'll look like " one of those rap guys girlfriends " and i dont care how much Sir Mix-A-Lot likes them, I DONT like big buts ( and I cannot lie ). Although I suppose then i would be able to feature in the next Flo-Rida/50 Cent/ Ludacris ( hell, pick any random rapper ... ) video, except for the fact that i'm white. Maybe i could star with Eminem if he werent so busy sitting in his mansion chunking himself up like a modern day Elvis ( and no offense to either Eminem or Elvis - both white boys doing " black " music and coming out on top. Respect. )
Dont mind me, ranting and raving on about the size of my derriere either. It just suprised me a little this morning when the pants i hadnt worn for a while - and by a while i only mean a week - didnt quite feel the same. Like maybe they were half a size too small. And its also not like i'm morbidly obese and getting bigger either - I'm a size 10 ( a US size 6 or a UK size 8 for my international readers ) so even if i did put a bit more junk in my trunk - so to speak - it shouldnt be a huge concern. Just struck me as kind of odd is all, and no-one needs that when they're trying to get to work for a conference call.
On the plus side, I am rocking an awesome curvy figure. Round butt, small waist - the whole hourglass thing. I can pull off pencil skirts and sky high heels in a totally 50's retro-sexy kind of way.
I wonder if there is some machine at the gym that could possibly perk me up in the bust department too ?
* No, i dont make my mum do my washing. She's just usually up first and gets to it before me...
Well, none of this has gone to plan.
1 day ago