Wednesday, September 3, 2008

" Observation " overload

Alright, so I'm going to admit it - I'm a perve. No, its true, I'm a dirty, dirty perve. Some of you may remember Banky McHands, and he's still on my perving radar, but its more than that. I am not going to mention exactly how long its been since I've had the " company " ( ahem ... ) of a good man, but suffice to say that its been long enough that I now find myself checking people out everywhere I go. For example, you know that underwear ad featuring David Beckham ? Umm... yes please. Or last night I'm watching " Baby Mama " at the movies and my first thought is " Wow, Tina Fey has sexy-ass legs ". This was followed closely by " I totally want her shoes!! " Good freaking Lord.

So aside from young Banky McHands, I am now checking people out at the gym. Thats normal right ? Half the people at the gym are only there to give other people the once over. So, anyways, I'm at the gym, on one of the machines that works your triceps - yes, I know the machines have names, I just dont know what they are - and I'm doing my thing, working up a sweat.... and I cant help noticing one of the regulars working up a sweat too. He's definately older than me, maybe around 30, could be married, and he's probably going bald because he has a really close cropped buzz cut but there he is, and there I am, watching the muscles in his legs move under his glistening skin. Of course, I'm watching out of the corner of my eye while i ( try to ) concentrate on what I'm doing.

Or this afternoon, after work, I'm in line at the supermarket, waiting for my turn with the cashier. There is a guy a few places in front of me, kind of tall, dark hair, scruffy, unshaven thing going on - just my type actually - and he looks around absentmindely. Just for a fleeting second I feel like he's giving me the eye so from that point until he's paid for his stuff and is out of sight I'm secretly giving him the once over. Nice bum, strong looking chest, nice arms under that t-shirt.... for God's sake Amy, just pay for your tzatziki and get out of here!

Thankfully, this newfound obsession with observation hasnt yet encroached on my life too much. I mean, its not likeI'm surfing the net for porn or chasing poor innocent young men down the street. I mean, I'm not THAT desperate ( yet ). But I'd like to think that maybe, sometimes, someone could possibly be perving on me and that this isnt just a one way street.

That would just be too, too sad, wouldnt it ?

4 comments:

  1. If I ever make it big, I am going to put into my contract that I get a billboard like Beckham.

    With my blue bar, of course.

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  2. Isn't that what gyms are for? Staring at the men? No? Hmmm, I'd better update my workout! No wonder I'm never tired when I leave... :-)

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  3. It's what we all subconsciously do Amy, and why not? How would people ever make the first move if they weren't looking? I'm joining a gym then if I can get a perve at some nice legs in action! :-O

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  4. wait, judging by your comments, I'm both desperate and a perv. crap.

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