Sunday, October 24, 2010

Hi Ho, Hi Ho....

... its off to work i go! Oh yes, tomorrow will be my first day back at work after 11 months of maternity leave. I am about 10% looking forward to it and 90% not wanting it to happen.
I dont want to leave my Flynny.
I dont want to miss his first steps ( seriously, i reckon he's a month away from walking.. )
I dont want him to get upset because i'm not there with him.
I dont want to go back to work and have to re-learn all the crap i've forgotten since i left ( i think i'm going to have to read the manual that I wrote for my co-workers last year! )
I dont want to have to deal with the state manager that i just cannot stand.
I dont want to deal with rude and obnoxious customers when i could be spending quality time with my son.

But, most of all, i dont want to be broke....and thats why i'm going back to work. 3 days, 9am-5am, is the minimum amount of work i can do to get paid enough to cover our bills and, combined with Micks wages, leave us enough to live comfortably. Some weeks, maybe, not even comfortably - just to make ends meet. So even though i'm not looking forward to it, even though i'll miss my little bubba and i might miss one of his huge milestones ( and i'll be incredibly upset and guilty if that does happen ... ) i recognise that i HAVE to go back to work, for the good of my family. Its that whole unselfish, sacrificing mother thing - despite what i really would like to do, i know that sucking it up and just getting in there and doing is going to be what benefits us most.
Lets just hope i can last more than a week before i get the shits with someone....

7 comments:

  1. The first week is rough. I give you permission to kick scream and cry and pout like a toddler when you have to leave the house...that's what I did ;)
    Good luck!!

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  2. I didn't go back to work until Ethan was 8 months old, and Claire was the same age when I went to work after she was born. This time I'm lucky enough that David and I have worked it out so I can stay home. But those first two times, I cried. A lot. I didn't want to go. It gets easier though. Good luck tomorrow.

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  3. It will be hard. I had to go back to work 1 month after giving birth. That was way hard, but at least I was leaving the kids with my hubby.

    Good luck, take kleenix

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  4. Hope your first day back goes well, Amy!

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  5. Good luck!! Even though I'm not a mom, I totally understand where you're coming from. But, the time you get to spend with him will be all that more precious!!

    Hope all goes well.

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  6. hope you survived your first day back and have a good week xx

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