I Solemnly Swear: New Years Resolutions 2012

So its the last day of the year and its time to get reflective - on the year past and on whats ahead in the year to come. Its also the time when bazillions of people around the world choose to set themselves those very special New Years goals that we call resolutions - and i am one of those people. And because i'm also a blogger i get to share!

( I know i used this pic last year bit i love me some Calvin and Hobbes! )

The Conceptual Goal: as i explained last year this is the goal that has no real, measurable outcome - its more of an intangible. I've had a think about the what i've experienced this year, things i have seen and done and learnt that can be done in a better way in 2012 and i've come up with this as 2012's goal: to find the ability to trust, and to share of myself more readily with those whom i can accept into my circle. Ooh, all deep and meaningful. Basically, i have trust issues - that is, i trust very few people which means i can quite often be misinterpreted as being cold, or boring. I'm neither of those things, i've just been very badly burnt in the past when i've given wholly of myself and found that that trust has not been reciprocated. So this year i want to find it within myself to take that chance at trusting people, which means i will be able to open myself up to the opportunity of friendship more easily. And that can only be a good thing right?

The Physical Goal: So where the conceptual cant be measured, the physical of course is the one where everyone will be able to see whether i pass or fail. This year i actually have two: #1 to have a baby and #2 to establish a successful business. The first is kind of self explanatory. The second is what i hope for the business that Mick and I have bought ( and that we start running as of January 3rd - nervous! ) - i hope that we can at least match the finacial forecast that was given to us by the previous business owners, and establish a comfortable relationship with the existing clients. That to me would mean a " successful " year, and would give us the confidence to proceed as small business owners into the future.

How about you? What is on your agenda for 2012?

Polly Dolly - Catch Up Week

So you may have noticed that Polly Dolly has been M.I.A around here lately.... and believe you me, i've missed her! So i was happy to see that Dani from Danimezza is playing catch ups this week posting a new Polly Dolly theme every day. Here are my first 3 for the week:

Hello Polly Claus! I tried to recreate what i wore on Xmas day but i couldnt find the right cut of dress ( mine was an empire waist with spaghetti straps ) so i went with this one instead. I swapped my casual sandals for something a little dressier and found a gorgeous little pendant which i would love to own in real life...

Both myself and Polly love to be comfortable in bed so for those hot summer nights i've found a cute little nighty, some comfy pillows and some soft cotton sheets. Music is an essential for falling asleep and a bottle of water beside the bed so i dont have to fumble to the kitchen in the dark in the middle of the night...

And lastly, Polly as a Bali beach babe. I thought we have to go with a huge pop of colour for a tropical holiday so i've gone with a bright orange kaftan, some beaded flat sandals ( swap for some wedges for night time cocktails ) and a big tote to take to the beach!

Dear Flynn, Aged 2 Years - Happy Birthday!

To my dear Flynn,

You crazy little fluffy-nut - happy birthday! Mama ( yep, just lately you almost always call me " Mama " instead of " Mummy " ) can't believe you turned 2 yesterday and you can NOT be called a baby anymore. As Daddy and I keep telling you, you are most definately a big boy now - a funny, (mostly) well-tempered, smart little boy who loves being outside, wrestling with his dad and pretty much anything with wheels.

When you're not being all rough and tumble, you  do enjoy reading a book or five. This is something i really love about you. I love that you've taken an interest in books and even if Daddy or I can't sit and read to you, you are more than happy to sit on your bed with CharlieBear and Hoot and your teddy bear Bruce and flip through the book yourself. You also love music and ask me to put your music on for you in your room at least once a day ( Justine Clark and the Wiggles are you favourites ). And then you dance and sing and a few times i've even caught you just lying back on your bed listening, just like a teenager would. That kind of made me smile even though it kind of reminded me of how fast your growing up...

You've conquered so much this year - you started walking just after your first birthday, then running, and then climbing up anything you could get to. You talk constantly and your speech is developing rapidly ( methinks this is because you know a lot of children older than yourself, and you spend a lot of time chitty-chatting with them ) and you've even starting counting to 10 ( although apparently the number 6 doesnt exist.... ).

That binky you have in your face there is going this year too....

This coming year i've got one major thing on your to-do list, little man - potty training. Mama would love for you to learn to go to the " potty " so that we can throw away the nappies. We've already started - slowly - and though we had one morning where you successfully went in the potty most times when i ask if you need to go you shake your head and say " No mama no! Dont want it! ". No matter - slow and steady and i'm sure by this time next year we can say you're nappy free!

I know i say it all the time but - Mama loves you! I'm so proud of the way your are growing, the personality you are developing, the little person you are turning into. I love that you use your manners 99% of the time, that your pretty fast and loose with your kisses and "huggles" and that you love to laugh. Daddy and I couldnt love you anymore if we tried!
Keep up the awesome sleeping and you're pretty much the perfect kid,
Love you millions,
Mama

Santa Photos 2011

So - it was inevitable that at some point before Christmas i would post Flynns 2011 Santa photos, right? Come on, every " mummy " blogger worth her salt is throwing out the best pics of their kiddies, and by "best " i mean one like this:

Oh yes, that is my beautiful son - cacking his daks and screaming his lungs out at having to be anywhere near Santa. This is honestly the ONLY photo we could get Flynn in the frame with the big red man... every other time i'd plop him in that little chair and he'd dart straight back up before the photo could be taken. Luckily we have our Santa photos done by my very good friend Ree ( look her up under Speaking One Thousand Words on Facebook ) and she's smart enough to know that not every child is going to like Santa, so she has a couple of other Christmas-y set ups to be used. Also luckily, we jointly decided to take some photos with the other set-ups before we tried with Santa, because i had kind of predicted a major Flynny meltdown. So, instead of having just that hilariously horrible Santa photo, i have these beauties to remember this Christmas by:

He wasnt overly fond of the tinsel under his bum....

....but he did enjoy ringing Santa's bell...

....and this? This is my favourite.

So what about you? Are you're kids " okay " with Santa, or did they crack it? And how were you as a kid?

Oh - and from me and mine to you and yours - Merry Christmas everyone!

A Musical Interlude

Having run all over town this morning doing some semi-last minute errands before Christmas ( including taking Flynn for a haircut appointment at 8:15am.... ) i got to listen to a fair bit of music whilst out and about in the car. Usually its The Wiggles all the way while we cruise around - lets just say it keeps the peace - but today i vetoed the thousandth repeat of " Wake Up Jeff! " and decided to switch on Micks IPod. After wading through some crap ( ahem... White Zombie ) i came across the first dance song from our wedding... which firstly made me a bit nostalgic - even though we've only been married 6 weeks - and secondly, i remembered that i had promised a few more wedding posts. So, today i present you all with the three most important songs for any girls wedding:
#1 - the song she walks down the aisle to;
#2 - the song the newlyweds walk back up the aisle to to greet their guests and
#3 - the all important first dance song.

#1 - " Just Because " by Nikka Costa. I thought a lot about the song i wanted to walk down the aisle to and the one thing i knew is that i didnt want it to be a song that had be " done " a bazillion times before. So i (we ) went with one of my favourite love songs of all time, which really just somes up my feelings towards Mick... basically, i love him ' just because ' - because of all the simple, little things that just make him him.

#2 - " Burn Your Name " by Powderfinger. One of my FAVE bands of all time. This song came out a few weeks before Flynn was born and from the first time i heard it it was a song that represented so much about how i felt about Mick and our impending family. When it came to planning the wedding i knew i wanted to have it somewhere, and because its a bit more uptempo we decided to use it as the song we played after the ceremony, when everyone is a celebratory mood.

#3 - " Bless the Broken Road " by Rascall Flatts. We were pretty much unanimous on this one. We both love this song, it represents the way we felt coming into our relationship, and its a great melody for a slow dance. Love!

So there you be - the 3 most important songs from my special day. How about you - what songs did you have, or would you have, at your wedding?

Nothing Yet....

Seeing as its Sunday and there is precisely zero happening around, i dont have much to say - except this:

There is still no bun in my oven. Absolute boo to that.

To be fair - to myself, and to everyone else out there trying to conceive - we have only been trying for 7 weeks, or two cycles ( the first of which, having come off the pill, i dont think i ovulated anyway ). So its not like we've been trying forever, or are even anywhere near thinking about fertility tests in the like.... its just that i so badly want a baby like RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE and had my fingers crossed that it would all happen in an instant . ( You know, like it did last time, when i missed two days worth of the Pill and miraculously fell pregnant.) But it hasnt and i know, in my head, that it very rarely does happen like that.

However, the heart wants what the heart wants, regardless of how much the head knows better. Long story short, i'm not pregnant yet and i;m taking one positive from it - it means i can have a drink ( or two or three ) over Christmas! Hello $3.99 bottles of Muscato!

A Different Christmas Perspective

It was Christmas – full of tinsel, and baubles and fake-bearded Santas. It is, of course, also a time full of other, more grown up concerns but when your 5 years old the sparkle and the whispered wishes for presents is all that you notice. You dont notice the petty arguments about whose family you’ll be spending Christmas lunch with, nor do you notice the bank account rapidly emptying as those sought after presents are paid for and hidden away in the back of the wardrobe.  You only see the happy, pretty, most-wonderful-time-of-the-year things.

 
However, even though your 5 years old, its hard not to see the panic in your fathers face, or to not recognise it your mothers voice. You cant understand why they’ve left you and your brother at Nanny’s, and they’ve sped off down the street with your other brother strapped tightly into the back seat of the car. Its worse when they dont come back by dinner, and Nanny gets off the phone to tell you “ You’re a lucky duck – you get to have a sleep over! “ It upsets you, partly because Mummy and Daddy and Eli havent come back yet, but also – how is Santa going to find you if you arent in your own bed? Where will he leave the presents? For you, and 4 year old Josh, and for Eli? You arent to know that Eli wont be getting any presents this year, nor any other year after that, and that Christmas, though it will always be full of tinsel and baubles and fake-bearded Santas, will now always be tinged with sadness.


 You dont know all that when your 5 years old – ignorance, as its said, is such bliss. But naive as 5 year olds are, its hard to be ignorant when your parents come home without your baby brother, and the only thing in abundance that Christmas is hot, silent, tears....

Great Google-y Gaga! ( Or 7 Reasons Why I Hate Lady Gaga )

Every once in a while , as a blogger, you get curious as to what your stats are, and you feel the need to go and check them out ( although i'm never checking Klout again - Klout makes me sad ). I also feel the need to reminisce every now and then, to take a walk down the bloggy memory lane - to read old posts and comments, and ponder whether anything much has changed since then. And when i get that urge to re-read my old stuff the first post i go to is this one...

For those of you who have been here long enough to remember ( or for those of you too lazy to check the linky... ) i am, of course, talking about the infamous Lady Gaga post of August 2009. The one in which i (tongue-in-cheek-edly ) listed my grievances with the great Lady.... which in turn earned me a crapload of comments. But not the good kind. No, no, the majority of these are the " you stupid bitchface wanker mole ! " kind of comments, the ones most often found spewing forth from the fingers of the seemingly infinite amount of keyboard warriors lurking on the Inter-Webs.

So, seeing as that particular post got such rave reviews ( raving mad maybe... ) why do i feel the need to check it now and again? Because it STILL GETS COMMENTS! I wrote the damn thing over two years ago and its still attracting new readers and a new breed of passionate Gaga geeks. As of last night, the comment count is up to 207. So, to all you crazy Gaga lovers who continue to want my blood, please find this new list for your to stew over:

1. There is no list! I dont hate her - in fact, i'll admit to some of the releases off her new album being quite the funky jam. She still doesnt wear pants but she no longer carries around the stupid tea cup, so there's that. However, what i do hate is ridiculously over passionate celebrity-loving trolls who have nothing better to do than sit behind their computer screens and take every humorous jibe personally. So feel free to continue to comment on the old post - i will get there to read it eventually, and when i have I ( and everybody else ) can sit back and have a laugh at how ridiculously uptight you are.

Thanks for making me smile nutjobs!

Taking It - And Leaving It

We're coming to the pointy end of the year where, aside from all the organisation and chaos of Christmas, we start to ponder what direction we'd like our lives to take in the New Year. What changes we need to make, what roads we need to follow, and what things need to be crossed off our lists. And this time around i'm thinking its not necessarily things that need to be crossed off my list, but people.

Sooooooooooo toxic...

Since " breaking up " with my best friend last year, i've had a lot of thinking to do on the subject of platonic relationships, on the types of people we need to surround us. And after the little mothers group Christmas party we attended yesterday, i've come to the realisation that as much as i wanted great friendships to develop for me within this particular group, they really havent ( aside from one - i'm so happy to have found a great friend for myself, and a great playmate for Flynn ). And i've also realised that if those friendships dont really exist, that if the relationship between myself and another person or people is even kind of toxic.... well, there is no point in continuing with it, is there? There is no point in keeping people around for their numbers, for being able to say " I have this many friends! ", if they arent the kind of friends that make you feel good about yourself, about your life, and your place in the world.

Without going into details, lets just say i felt totally gutted by the whole situation yesterday afternoon. We had our little do in the morning, at which i felt isolated, left out of the clique that seems to have sprung up between other mums , and frusturated that certain kinds behaviour is allowed from some children when i expect better of my own child ( yes, THAT old chestnut ). By mid afternoon i felt a huge knot of frusturation/anger/disappointment/resentment in the pit of my stomach and i hated that. I hated that i felt that way.

And then.... i realised i dont HAVE to feel like that. I can take myself out of the situations that constantly disappoint me, i can cut the interaction with those people down to the absolute bare minimum. I can enrich my life, not through the number of friendships i had hoped to gain, but by not subjecting myself to the toxic "friendships " that i ended up with. I can put my energy ( and my heart ) into the relationships i already have, i can i take the opportunities for new friendship when they come to me, instead of willing for them to happen in the wrong places, with the wrong people. And i can feel contented and enriched by what i do have, and use that to fuel further happiness in my life.

What about you? Do you feel the same compulsion as I did to say you've got a huge number of friends, or have you realised that its quality rather than quantity?

Just A Bit Distracted

Sorry - i know i've been missing in action for a few days but don't fret.... i havent fallen off the face of the planet or anything. No, no, i've just been a bit busy reading a good book or two ( you know, as compared to the tonnes of good blogs i read on a daily basis ). See i finished this on Thursday:

Let me tell you - it was a page turner, one of those bookes you only put down because you know you have to work tomorrow and you cant afford to stay up the whole night reading. Which only means one thing - i started its sequel on Friday:

And i'm about a quarter of the way through. Truth be told as soon as i've published this post the computer is being tossed aside so i can continue reading. I'm probably really late to the Phillipa Gregory bandwagon ( i'd heard so many great reviews for these books, but had never gotten around to picking them up ) but now that i'm on it, i'm going to regret it when i get to the last page....

Have you read the " Cousin's War " series? Or can you recommend anything to me that has kept you particularly engrossed?

A Quick One

Alright - so i'm a bit tired and i've decided to be a bit lazy, just for tonight. I'm going to make this a quick one. See i came across this picture a few days ago and i just wanted to ask you guys:

Is this where the Biebs is headed?
 Because before seeing this i thought he was fated to go down the road of " androgynous boy singer who ends up looking like a vaguely pretty woman "....

A New Chapter

A month or two, amidst all posts about my upcoming wedding, i wrote that Mick and I were hoping for a few positive outcomes in regards to some future plans we were laying. We needed a big " yes ".... and i'm happy to say that we got it. That is, we got a big "yes " to a business loan and, from January, we will be the proud new owners of a small business.


We've been amazingly lucky with out opportunity - Mick's current employers had been looking to sell for a while and were having no luck. After a bit of thinking - and knowing that we are a young family looking for a break - they generously proposed that they loan us two-thirds of the cost of buying a part of their business, as long as we could get the rest of the money from the bank. That is, they would lend us their OWN money ( which we will pay back at a reduced rate of compund interest ) because, as they put it, they love Michael like one of their own family, they believe in him, and they wanted to give us an opportunity to provide a better life for our family.

I was gobsmacked at their generosity, and we hoped against hope that we would be able to secure some finance from the bank..... and we did! We are still working out a bit of the logistics but basically, as of January, we will own our own courier business: Mick will be doing pick ups and deliveries to a town about 2 hrs drive away, 5 days a week, and i will do the book keeping and general paperwork of an evening, after i finish at my own job.

We're not stupid - we KNOW it will be a hard slog for the first 6-12 months. My responsibiliities to our business will be on top of my other job, and as Mick will be our only driver he wont be able to take any sick leave or holidays. There are the small ins and outs of a business that we will have to learn, and ways of doing things that work for us. But, in the long run, we know that owning our business is going to afford our family some amazing opportunities, and a more comfortable lifestyle than we can provide now.

It is still a month away, but there is so much we have to organise and begin learning before then. However, i know we are both looking forward to the challenges that will be thrown at us in the next few months - wish us luck!

(Everybody Needs) Good Neighbours

You often hear the "older " generation say that they remember the days where you talked to your neighbours, where you would hang over the fence and have a chat with the people next door, and you didnt hesitate in trusting them to bring in your mail/feed your dog/water your lawn when you went away. Sadly, these days it seems like a lot of people dont even know what they're neighbours look like, let alone know them enough to stop and chat. You might give each other a small wave as you drive past on your way in and out of the street, but thats about it. But, ladies and gentleman, there is a reason we shouldnt trust our neighbours anymore:


Because they might invite you over for a bbq, be great hosts who supply your very thirsty husband with beer after beer and then..... SHAVE HIS HEAD.

What in the fork has he done to his head?!

Oh yes - the horror. Our previously very wonderful neighbours invited us to a bbq on Saturday night, which we had to decline as we were already going out for dinner. No worries,they said- if you feel like it, pop over when you get home. It was 9pm by the time we got back from dinner and Flynn needed to go to bed, so Mick went over by himself, promising he'd be home by midnight.

4:30am he stumbles in and climbs into bed. Because our neighbours still had their back patio lights on there was a little extra light filtering into our room and I thought there was something a little odd about Mick's shadow. I flick on the bedside lamp ... and there he is, head completely shaved save for a 2x8cm mohawk-like patch in the middle. All i could manage in my bleary-eyed state was " You look f**king ridiculous ", before i rolled back over and went back to sleep.

Now this is one close cropped head i'd like to get close to...

As i said to Mick a bit later that morning at a more appropriate wake up time - he's lucky i love him because, man, did he look stupid. I told him he could leave the fluffy mohawk for the rest of the weekend but convinced him there was no way in the world he was going to work looking like that. He's now sporting a fully shaved head, a stupid grin and a proportionately bigger-looking set of ears, whilst my neighbour will never be trusted with my husband again.

( Except if we're invited to their annual New Years bbq, which we will be at with bells on! )

Little Parrots

The mothers out there will understand me when i say that small children make for very good parrots - that is, they have this amazing habit of hearing, and repeating, everything you say ( unless of course what you're saying is " Please pick up your pencils " or " Stop touching the Christmas tree! " ).

Image from here

Flynn is a pretty good talker at the best of times, and though i really love being able to have little conversations with him or being able to understand what he wants, i do wish he'd stop copying all the "naughty " words his Dad is fond of saying. Not that we swear badly around him often - though both of us have had the odd slip up here and there - but Mick is, being a typical country boy, a user of a lot of Australian colloquialisms.... some of which aren't all that appropriate for a 2 yr old. Like, for example, the way many Australians use insults as a term of endearment, especially amonsgt blokes.

So when Flynn pipes up during a playdate yesterday " Daddy say i a bum-hole. Flynn a little bum-hole! " I was kind of mortified, even though amonsgt two grown up men i wouldnt bat an eyelid. Luckily all the other mum could do is laugh at my embarrassment, and tell her daughter ( who is a day older than Flynn ) to shut her ears...

Or at dinner last night when i gave Flynn a prawn to try - he took one little nibble and chucked it back on his plate in disgust, saying " This f**king stupid! ". Umm - no. Just - no. Both of us were a little taken aback at that one and told him f**king is a naughty word and that you can just say the prawn is yucky if you dont want it. Now, we arent in the habit of calling food " f**king stupid " but i'm guessing some little ears may have been listening to Daddy working ( or trying to anyway ) in the garage...

Flynn has also been known to tell people:
" Get off bloody grass! "
" Get away my daughter! " ( Which Poppy said in jest at our recent wedding.... ) and
" Cheers Big Ears! "
Hey, at least the last one gets an appropriate laugh....