Operation Slimdown - A Day Late

Yea, yea....i know i usually do my OS post on a Tuesday but yesterday was Mick's birthday so we had cake with the family after work and then i cooked his favourite dinner ( Sesame Beef ) and we had quality time together, sans baby and blog. But nevermind that - onto the results!

I gotta say, the last fortnight i've been living in a state of anticipation. I've been trying to eat as healthily as i can, i've exercised ( when i can ) as hard as i can and i've been successfully drinking at least a 1L of water a day, most days almost 2L. So, lets go to the tale of the tape. Last time i did my measurements, that fateful week that ut me into a fitness funk and saw me chuck just a little tanty , this is where i was at:
Bust - 100.5cm
Waist - 85.5cm
Hips - 104.5cm
Bum - 109cm
Thigh - 67cm

That was October 26th. So, a month after almost packing it and giving up on shedding some excess kilos, these were my measurements on November 27th:
Bust - 96.5cm - down 4cm
Waist - 82cm - down 3.5cm
Hips - 102.5cm - down 2cm
Bum - 108.5cm - down 0.5cm ( i cant believe i actually, finally, lost a little from my bubble butt! )
Thigh - 67cm - no change

So hey, there ya go - down, down, down, down! Didnt i say my pants had been feeling loser, and i could actually see a little of the change around my waist? It has me slightly puzzled why my top half is shrinking at faster rate than my bottom half ( although i've always been pear shaped... ) but i'm happy with those results. And what about my actual weight you ask:
November 15th - 76.6kgs
November 27th - 75.8kgs
So only an 800g drop in 2 weeks, but, combined with the drop in measurements, i'm satisfied with that. I would really, really, REALLY love to be at 70kgs by New Year, which is only 4 days shy of my original goal date. I'm not sure if its going to be possible coming into the Christmas period, what with all its rich, yummy food and lazy days ( and rain, rain, rain by the looks of the weather forecast... ) but i'll see how i go. Wish me luck!

Dearest Santa Baby...

Its Blog This! challenge time again and i have to say, this one is season appropriate. This week the blog post directive was:
Now's the time to start putting together your Christmas wishlist. And I want you to share the top 5 items on your Christmas wishlist with everyone this challenge.

Don't let money stop you either, make your list as realistic, or as wishful as you want!

Dearest Santa Baby,

Its Amy - remember me? I havent written for a while, and i'm not exactly a " girl " anymore but in the spirit of the season i'd thought i'd send you out a copy of my wishlist for this year. I promise i've been very, very good ( and even when i was bad, i was very good...wink, wink, nudge, nudge.. ) so if you could see fit to gift me with any of these five things that would be ace. In no particular order:
1. Some more charms for my Pandora bracelet - i dont have my eye on any in particular ( ok, except the little book stack - its cute and appropriate for me! ) but if you're going to pick me up some coloured ones, i'm thinking blue will look nice with orangey-pink ones i already have.
2. A publisher for my childrens story - I'd love to share " There's A Giraffe In My Bath " with the little masses. Or my latest work - " There's A Sheep In The Shed ". The more i think about, and talk about it with my family, the more i adore the idea of being a childrens author and making kids and their families happy. I've been doing a lot of research into how you go about these type of things ( that is, writing good stories and getting them published ) but it would be waaaaaaaay easier if you could just drop a publishing contract right in my lap.
3. Some cds and books to add to my collection -  its been so long since i bought myself a brand spanking new cd. Oh, yes, thats right, i dont do digital downloads - i'm still a cd kind of gal. This past year i've been hearing some great pop music on the radio and would love to be able to bop around the house to it whenever i wanted to. I'm thinking maybe some Pink, some Adam Lambert and some Robyn? Ooh, and if you could just scout around and get me some great new reads that would be wonderful also.
4. An overseas trip - i know i'm already going to be going on a honeymoon next year ( to the Gold Coast ) but i'm just gonna be a little greedy and ask for an overseas trip aswell. Europe would be nice seeing as i havent been there yet but i'll settle for a return trip to SE Asia so i can show Mick around ( he's never been outside of Australia you see and i'd love to share some of the world with him ).
5. Some weight loss and a new wardrobe to go with it - you know i'm trying to get this one on my own but a little magical Christmas help would be much appreciated.
And thats all. I'm not going to be like a typical child and ask for, like, a million things.... just one ( or two ) of those five will do. Oh, and world peace and all that jazz would be nice aswell, if you have enough room in your sleigh.
Love, love, love!
Amy

Books!Books!Books! - How Many Have You Read?

So.... i came across the meme on Kylie's page over at A Study In Contradictions   and i thought i'd play along. See, apparently the BBc has published a Top 100 booklist ( i'm not sure of what the list actually is tho - best books ever in, like, history? Bestsellers? Who knows... ) and they've come to the conclusion that the majority of people have only read 6 of the 100 books listed. Really? Only 6?
The aim of this game is to highlight in bold those which you have read, and italicize the ones you started but didnt finish, or have read parts of.
Feel free to play along!

1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen ( one of my top 5 favourites.. )


2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien


3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee (also a top 5 pick )
6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott  ( i read this when i was 11ish - i would love to revisit it now )
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare ( i've read " Romeo and Juliet " and " Taming of the Shrew " )

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger ( i have to admit though for all its hype, i wasnt really a fan... )

19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame ( started this as a kid - i dont recall ever finishing it )

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis

34 Emma -Jane Austen ( This is my current read - i'm halfway through and i gotta say Emma is not a likeable character at all... )
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen

36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood (One of my Top Ten)

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan ( loved the book, loved the movie... sooooooo want Keira Knightleys green dress! )

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker (read this earlier this year and really enjoyed it )
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Inferno - Dante

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom ( its kind of short, but its really ...well...good. Inspiring good. )

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton ( read some of the books as a child, but not all of them )

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Operation Slimdown....Its Back! Week 2

" Operation Slimdown " time again!


I have to say, i'm not feeling too bad about the whole excess weight thing this week. Hell, just thsi morning i looked at my tummy in the mirror this morning and it didnt make me cringe. Its still a soft little " mummy tummy " but i can see the abs i used to have underneath the layer of pudge. And even if i couldnt see that definition i worked hard for, Mick says he likes my tummy - its all soft and womanly and whatnot. A compliment from a fella always helps a ladies self-esteem...

Plus, i think my work pants are a little less snug this week - but i'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch. I'm not doing measurements or a weigh in until this coming Saturday ( which will be in next Tuesdays post ) so i cant be sure if anything really is happening or not. What is happening is exercise. I wasnt overly diligent with the whole exercise schtick this past week but i DID exercise. I did my usual Zumba class on Wednesday night ( which i'm still enjoying - yay! ) and went for my usual morning walk with my sister on Friday. Unfortunately we had to skip Thursdays walk because i had to go into work for the morning but that was unavoidable. But never fear!There will be more exercising than that this week - 1 hr of Zumba at class, two morning walks, i'm going to try and fit in a half hr Zumba session at home, and then there's the zoo.

I live in a town which is home to the largest open range zoo in the world ( Taronga Western Plains Zoo. Google it ). Sunday it is having free entry to celebrate the opening of new picnic grounds and play area so Mick and I are taking Flynn out for the day. The best thing about it - other than the free-ness - is that we'll be parking our car and walking around, which is a 5km long walking trail....which equals exercise! But hey, the rest of the zoo thing will be a whole other post so stay tuned...

Off My Plate

You know that expression - to have something " off your plate "? As in, " Glad thats off my plate! " Yea, welll, i'm starting to think i might have too much on my plate for the next few weeks and some of it is making me anxious. Dont get me wrong, some of it is going to be way cool heaps fun, but some of it is just bogging me down mentally.

* I've still got to get around to actually organising my sons first birthday party - which means actually decided on a guest list ( to invite his little mothers group friends or not ? ), what time of day is appropriate ( i'm thinking to start around 11am and run through til 12:30pm ) and what i'm going to feed the guests (and where i'm going to find the funds to pay for food ).

* Finish the Christmas shopping - this one isnt too bad because i have one more toy layby to get out ( thank you Target! ) and then i only need to get " Santa " presents for Flynn and buy a little something for Mick. Its more the " where am i going to find the money for it all ? " bit thats doing my head in a little. I'm trying not to worry, and its not like we're sending ourselves broke or anything, it justs that i really want to make our first Christmas as a family special and a little extra disposable cash would come in so handy right now ( i know - join the club right ? )

* The collapse of my "best " friendship - i know i've already written about it, and i know your probably tired of me harping on about it but.... i just cant get past it. I'm still so angry - i've never been the angry girl before ( i've been the sad girl, and the tired girl but not the angry one ) and right now i'm trying just to sit in the anger, to take it in, let it out and to let myself have that moment and be done with it. But the more i try to just " let it be " the angrier i get. I just feel so cheated and lied to and resentful. I've never been resentful before, and i dont like it. Its the resentment thats tearing me up. This is one i REALLY want off my plate, and soon...

And the rest? The rest is the way cool heaps fun stuff - birthday parties, Christmas parties, a day at the zoo, Santa photos with my awesome photographer friend, visits to the park, " Save The Date " cards, cooking and Mario Kart marathons. Stuff to keep me busy. Stuff to keep me smiling, and to keep me sane. I just gotta get some of that other crap off my plate first!

A Short Post Entitled - " What Has Channing Tatum Done To His Head " ?

What has Channing Tatum done to his head? No really - what has he done, and more importantly, WHY, WHY, WHY ?

Oh Channing, you were so hot in " Step Up " and " She's The Man " ( yep, i've seen those movies, dont pretend you havent... ) and now....THIS.
Ladies - discuss.....

Opinions - Please?Please?Please!

Ok - so remember a while back when i said i would like to write a childrens book one day? Yea well, i need your help on something. See, inspired by my son dumping one of his toys in the bath a few nights ago i sat down and wrote myself a little story entitled " There's a Giraffe in my Bath ". I've read it to a few people and one in particular encouraged me to see if i could get it published. I laughed it off but she said to me " Amy, if i can change careers in my mid-30's, a widow and a mum of 3....YOU can be a writer ". Fair enough. Unfortunately, there is already a childrens picture book called " A Giraffe In The Bath " ( by the very talented Mem Fox, which as far as i can tell isnt like mine at all, just shares a first line ) but i thought i might just post my little effort here and see what you beautiful mummy type people thought of it. Here goes:

There’s a giraffe in my bath

He’s quite big and tall
With him already in
I’ll have no room at all!

I scrub his long neck
And clean under his chin
Then he moves over a little
So I can get in.

I slide in with a “splash! “,
Settle down in my bath
I’m a little bit squished
Up against this giraffe.


The water is warm
And there’s plenty of bubbles
But if mum catches us both
We’ll be in big troubles!


“ Could you pass me the soap? “
I ask with a smirk.
A bath with a giraffe
Is such difficult work!


I have a quick scrub and
Get as clean as I can
But a big, tall giraffe
Wasn’t part of the plan!


Its time to get out
Before the water goes cold
“ You have to go now “
The giraffe is told.


He stands up and climbs out
And he shakes himself dry
And off into the night
Goes that strange giraffe guy.


I smile and laugh
Cant help shaking my head;
I’m done in the bath,
But now who’s in my bed?

So there you go...thats it. If you could give a quick opinion on it, and maybe link it on your blog so i can get as mnay opinions as possible, i would be really really appreciative!

Holiday! Celebrate!

So - i think its about time that i participate in another " Blog This! " challenge. I know, i know...its been a while. Anyhoodle, this weeks challenge is:
Holidays! This week's challenge is to share you favourite holiday photo with everyone! It doesn't matter how old it is, or how old you were, share it with us and tell us the story behind it!
A photo challenge hmm? I had to go a little ways back through the files for this one but here you go:

Thats me in front of Angkor Wat in Cambodia, back in 2007. I did a 19 day trip through SE Asia, taking in Vietnam, Cambodia and Thailand with a company called Geckos Adventures ( whom i totally recommend by the way. I did a trip in Peru with them too .)

SE Asia was awesome - i'd definately go back, given the chance - but the temples at the Angkor complex were one of the highlights. Besides being able to get my Lara Croft on ( Angelina Jolie filmed the first " Tomb Raider " film there ) i also got to marvel at what human beings were able to do WITHOUT technology. Its amazing that hundreds of years ago humans were able to build these huge, complex structures without the aid of cranes, backhoes, trucks etc etc. And that the buildings are a testament to their intense faith in their Gods is inspiring. I dont believe in God or, indeed, in organised religion ( its nice for other people, its just not for me ) yet i found comfort and inspiration in what man can do in the name of something they feel so strongly about.

So there was that - other highlights of the trup include:

* A guided motorcyle ride around the city of Hue, and out into the country to meet some of the locals

* A beautiful mud bath and Vietnamese massage

* Shopping at the markets in both Siem Reap and Bangkok

* Delicious, delicious food

* And all the friends i made!

*NOTE* - See how slim i look in that photo ( ignore my billowing hiking shorts )? I was about 63kgs in that photo - THATS where i'd like to be again someday soon!

Operation Slimdown....Its Back!

So - the weekly " Operation Slimdown " post is back! I was considering calling it " Operation Slimdown - Mach 4 " but that sounded a) a bit pathetic ( like how many times do i have start this bloody thing over ?! ) and b) its not like i fell off the diet bandwagon for good. I just .... umm...took a two week break from blogging about it.


Ok, and i took a break from the exercise bit but i promise i kept up with the healthier eating part. I was just so disheartened by the lack of good results that i had a bit of a dummy spit and went " Poo to you excess kilos - you suck! " Which they do - and so did my attitude. I'm a grown, sensible, reasonably intelligent woman , yet somehow i let logic slip away from me when confronted with those all important numbers. Of course my weight is going to fluctutate from week to week, and of course the measurements can be effected by things such as how much water i've drunk that day or (ahem) " that time of the month ". I know these things but, just like many a sensible, reasonably intelligent woman before me, i let myself become a blithering mess, all over a couple of stupid numbers.

Well - no more i say! Those bloody numbers are not going to get me down anymore...in fact, i'm going to get THEM down! Clearly its not going to be easy ( see the last four " Operation Slimdown " posts for further evidence of this fact ) and its going to take me longer than i thought, and had hoped for. The good news is that when i weighed myself on Sunday the scales showed up 76.6kgs - which is less than the last weigh in, so boo yea to me for that!

Oh, and lastly - i've decided not to weigh in every week. I'll still post about how my week has gone physically and nutritionally but i'm only going to weigh and measure myself once a fortnight ( or even less ). I'm not on " The Biggest Loser " - my scales are not going to show fantastic numbers every week, and my weight loss is going to be on the go slow. I think if i can just plug away and work at it and then see an improvement over a longer period of time, i can keep my spirits up and keep motivating myself. Wish me luck!

A Little Ray Of Sunshine

Well - my blog has been a whole sack of sad lately hasnt it? My apologies for that people, and i hope that it hasnt driven too many of you away. I think we all ( usually ) blog about what we know, and what we're going through at the time, and the last month or so has just been a steaming pile of wah, wah, wah for me.

But fear not! Not everything in my life is dreary - we're on the downhill slide towards Christmas ( which is almost always a highlight ) and, 2 days after that, my little Flynn will be celebrating his 1st birthday! I know i'm not the first mother to say this but holy bloody boojesus - how did we get here so quick?! I could swear it was only a few months ago that i was wearing XXL polo shirts to work and had slowly lost sight of my ankles but no, here we are, a mere 41 days off me having a " one year old ". Good bloody gravy.

Also, i'm into week #4 of being back at work and i have to admit it aint half bad. I was so NOT looking forward to going back, i was so sure i was absolutely going to hate it and i was going to have to haul myself off to work 3 mornings a week smiling through clenched teeth but... i'm kind of, sort of, maybe enjoying it a little. I feel like i've gained a little of "me" back ( even if it is " work me " and not " Sunday-afternoon-naps-on-the-lounge " me ). I dont have an adorable little monster attached to me all day long, and nor am i chained to the dirty washing pile... i'm back in a familiar environment, doing familiar things, but i'm doing them on my own. Achieving a little something again that doesnt have anything to do with crawling, teething or learning to sleep through. Granted, its not like i'm going to be volunteering to do extra shifts anytime soon, but at least i'm coming to work with a smile on my face and leaving ( on time! Thank you " i have to get Flynn from daycare " excuse... ) each day not dreading having to go back.

And there we be. In the 41 days til Flynny's birthday i plan on getting a little crafty by making him his own Santa sack; making/organising " Save the Date " cards for my wedding next November; and co-planning with my Dad this years Christmas menu. Anyone for Christmas icecream pudding ?

Go Now, Into The Light

I have just come from the funeral of the schoolmate i mentioned here.

I cried - i cried tears of empathy for his mother and the mother of his children, both whom were shuddering with big, animalistic sobs. I cried tears of grief for his children, who will grow up without a daddy. And i cried tears of happiness for myself, that somewhere inside i found the strength that he could not, and escaped the same fate.

And i was ashamed. Who cries for themselves at a funeral? I have every empathy for his family, even more so that i am now a mother, and each moan that escaped his mothers body broke my heart. My own parents have had to bury a child, so i have some understanding of how much strength it would have taken for her to stand in front of everyone and place loved possessions on her sons coffin. I hate that they have so many unanswered questions, and that they'll never get the chance to have them answered, except when posed hypothetically. I cried tears for all of that, for their heartbreak and their grief and their anger. Yet, mostly, i cried for myself. Everytime suicide was mentioned my thoughts turned to how close i came to that decision, and the lyrics of the songs his family chose to farewell their son, brother and friend brought me further undone.

I didnt attend the internment - i felt i didnt have a close enough relationship to be at this more intimate rite of a funeral, and that my presence at the funeral ceremony was enough to show my respect. Instead, i drove straight home and gave my son the biggest hug i could muster, and sent Mick a message telling him how much i love him. Its all i could do and i hope, in case of dire circumstance, it will be enough....

I'm Still Here People

Well - i've been absent for a few days. Why? No reason. I've been good, feeling ok, not down in the dumps or anything....just somehow everytime i've sat down to blog my mind has gone blank. Blah. Nada. Not a single interesting thing to write. And come to think of it, this is just a " hey, i havent died! " post and isnt actually anything interesting at all.

So, in the interests of keeping my blog alive and trying to unblock my stopped up brain, this is todays post. I hope you enjoyed the blah.
P.S Also - that last post? That was a bit of creative writing. I may find my blog writing brain backed up, but i find myself itching to write a proper, creative, piece of prose again. Good idea or no?

The Start?

I'm not going into detail, just asking if you could read the following, and leave a comment. Please? Thankyou?

It was dark when i started looking for myself. Ordinarily you wouldnt conduct a search in the dark but, with me, it was the best ( and only ) place to start. Truth be told i had been in the darkness so long that had a light appeared and shone itself directly in my face i would have shyed away from what it might illuminate, and slunk back into the comfortable black i knew so well. I was afraid – i wouldnt have copped to it then, but i can admit to it now. I was afraid – of having to see, of having to know. At least in the dark i could pretend. I could ignore what might really be there, and imagine a whole other, different, BETTER world for myself. Its just that, one day, i realised i was tired of playing pretend. So very, very tired. I couldnt pretend anymore, i couldnt keep up the pretence of “ normal “, i couldnt keep being a “ me “ that wasnt really me at all. So i was tired, that much i knew. The only other thing i knew for sure is that i DIDNT know who i was anymore. I DIDNT know who i was, or where “ I “ might be.  And what do you do when you dont know where something is ? You start looking – just, ordinarily, you don’t start in the dark....

Thoughts?

Find Your Peace

Image from here

I made my way out of the darkness once, fighting through thunder and lightning til i could ride the winds of change all the way to the safety of shore....

Some people arent as lucky. I recieved news yesterday that a school friend has taken his own life, after a struggle with depression stemming from a relationship break up. He's left behind two small children and, presumably, a broken hearted family. This boy(man ) was always so confident at school and, truth be told, i had a little crush on him. We werent great mates and we didnt share any classes, but he was the cute-but-naughty boy that all the girls thought was a bit of a hottie.Even though we were never close friends, it really hits home how lucky i am that i found the strength and courage to fight through my depression and break free of it.

I wish he could have done the same. He is the third classmate of mine to commit suicide. Three young men, all dead at their own hand, in 10 years. As far as i'm concerned, thats three too many over the course of a lifetime, let alone three missing before we've even had a chance to have a high school reunion. And what for? What struggles were they fighting against? What support was lacking? Its too late now to answer these questions but i cant help but wonder.... if they had the support i had, the family to rally around, to understand the mental health issues or emotional battles, would they still be here?

If i am able, i will attend his funeral next week. Like i said, we werent close friends and i wouldnt know his family if i tripped over them, but i feel its the right way to pay tribute to the fun, cheeky, bright spirit i remember from school and put to rest the broken spirit that has hopefully, in death, found some peace....



The Big 4-0-0

Hello and welcome to this, the 400th post here at New Adventures In Dreamworld. I'm your host Amy, and here is what on tonights agenda:
* An explanation
* A smile
*And a thankyou.

The explanation - you may have noticed that my regular weekly weigh in is missing tonight. It is partly because today is my special 400th post, but also because i didnt weigh or measure myself today. Shock!Horror! I wont lie - i was really bloody disheartened with last weeks result and then Mick tells me today that he's lost 3kgs...and he's not even trying. It all just seems really unfair - granted i havent been overly strict but i HAVE been trying, purposely eating less and exercising that little bit more. And i'm just not going anywhere. Its not like i'm completely disgusted by my body, and nor am i morbidly obese, i'd just really, really, REALLY like to lose at least those 8kgs i mentioned before. And its just not happening. I may have to investigate Tony Ferguson or some other weight loss aid type of thing. What do you think? Had anybody had any succes with those?
The smile - Gawd i love my baby! Since we've come back from Tresillian its like he's a completely new child. Yea, he's a champion sleeper now but he's also much more smiley and snuggly, and less clingy and sooky. I've completely fallen in love with him all over again - its beautiful to watch him playing and learning and then see him look up and crack this big, huge smile as if to say " Look at me Mum! Look what i can do! ". Its gorgeous. With only 2 months til his 1st birthday, i'm relishing these last days of his " babyhood ". Everyday seems to bring with it a new trick, and a new smile...
The thankyou -  to you reader people! Ok, so only one of you made a suggestion of what you'd like to see more of ( thanks Hayley! ) and no-one suggested a topic for this post, but you guys are here most other times and, most importantly, here when i really need you. It might be selfish to say but without the comments and support from my followers i dont think i'd love blogging as much - i enjoy the writing aspect ( i always have ) but its the sense of community that keeps me coming back. So thanks guys - hope you stick around to help me reach the big 5-0-0!