I made my way out of the darkness once, fighting through thunder and lightning til i could ride the winds of change all the way to the safety of shore....
Some people arent as lucky. I recieved news yesterday that a school friend has taken his own life, after a struggle with depression stemming from a relationship break up. He's left behind two small children and, presumably, a broken hearted family. This boy(man ) was always so confident at school and, truth be told, i had a little crush on him. We werent great mates and we didnt share any classes, but he was the cute-but-naughty boy that all the girls thought was a bit of a hottie.Even though we were never close friends, it really hits home how lucky i am that i found the strength and courage to fight through my depression and break free of it.
I wish he could have done the same. He is the third classmate of mine to commit suicide. Three young men, all dead at their own hand, in 10 years. As far as i'm concerned, thats three too many over the course of a lifetime, let alone three missing before we've even had a chance to have a high school reunion. And what for? What struggles were they fighting against? What support was lacking? Its too late now to answer these questions but i cant help but wonder.... if they had the support i had, the family to rally around, to understand the mental health issues or emotional battles, would they still be here?
If i am able, i will attend his funeral next week. Like i said, we werent close friends and i wouldnt know his family if i tripped over them, but i feel its the right way to pay tribute to the fun, cheeky, bright spirit i remember from school and put to rest the broken spirit that has hopefully, in death, found some peace....
Depression is a very dark place and I know this because I have it. I don't know what keeps on person afloat and the other not. Maybe it's support? I don't know...but I do know how painful he must have felt...that there was no hope...no light.
ReplyDeleteIt's a horrible horrible feeling.
I am so sorry for your life. It's awful that some people feel like they need to suffer in silence :(
ReplyDeleteWe're sharing similar posts again today my love x
Suicide is just such an awful tragedy. Men seem to be the ones to take their own lives more than women too. They just can't seem to talk out their feelings and seek the help they need for depression. I am raising my boy to realise that it's okay to cry and that telling someone you're feeling weak makes you a very strong person indeed. x
ReplyDeleteGosh how very sad, I am sorry you had such tragic news. That is a high rate from the same year at the same school, and you're right: 3 too many, indeed. I hope you make it to the funeral. A very, very sobering post.
ReplyDeleteOh Amy, I'm so sorry. That's so very sad xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSo sad. Someone very close to me took his life on New Year's Eve last year. We had no idea how unhappy he was. He was an amazing person. I miss him very much.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sad situation and what a shame he felt that this was the only way out. Im so sorry for your loss, I hope you get to make it to the funeral to say your goodbyes.
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