Thursday, April 19, 2012

Where I've Been...

So - i guess you may be wondering why i've been missing in action the last fortnight? ( You know, or not - you might have all left and i could just be talking to myself here ). The truth is that sneaky old " black dog " has caught up with me again and as those of you have also suffered depression know - well, its just not all that good for motivation.

I can put my hand up and admit it - i'm back seeing a counsellor and working through cognitive behaviour therapy again. Perhaps its partly all this extra oestrogen pumping around my body, perhaps it was the 3 major life events ( wedding/pregnancy/starting a business ) all within 2 months of each other that has pushed me over the edge, but those sneaky negative thoughts and anxieties are back with a vengeance. The good news is that this time i'm old enough and wise enough to recognise them for what they are - and i am one bazillion percent determined to get them under control before my gorgeous baby girl gets here.

I will not let myself sink under the black clouds this time. I owe to Mick and to Flynn to be the wife and mother that they deserve, i owe it to my unborn daughter to be a strong capable woman who will raise her to be the same. But, most of all, i owe it to myself. I have come too far, through too much shit ( for lack of a better word - lets face it, depression is complete and utter shit ) to lose " me " in a sea of wife/mother/daughter/business owner and whatever the hell else i am supposed to be.

So - the good news is i'm back. The bad news is i've gone all "head-case " again. Or as Matchbox20 so succintly put it ... " I'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell "....


  1. :( No good sweetness. Hang in there- dog's a bitch xxxx

  2. I've been missing you! It's good to have you back, even if you are a "head-case"! ;)

    I hope things start to feel better for you real soon, shit certainly is the operative word when it comes to depression!

  3. Well done for recognising the signs and getting the help you need! That's the biggest and hardest thing - especially with the dog nipping at your heels. I hope you start feeling better very soon :)