Friday, April 27, 2012

Getting Crafty With My Bad Self

So tomorrow my sister boyfriend, The Builder, is coming to turn our current garage/junk storage space into a new " big boy " room for Flynn. Even tough it will be another week at least before we can move Flynn in there ( we have to paint next weekend, get carpet layed and then put together his new furniture first... ) i'm kind of excited. Its not exactly as exciting as moving house - nor as time consuming or expensive! - but it does mean a bit more living space and hopefully the chance for a tidier home. See, in theory, the new room will be bedroom/playroom - Flynns bed and tall boy at one end, a futon, bookcases and tubs of toys at the other - so i'm anticipating not having as much mess to clean up in my loungeroom everyday. Of course, thats just the theory... i'm sure in reality there will be just as much mess, except i'll be able to shut the bedroom door and pretend the tornado-like destruction doesnt exist!

The mini-reno also means that Flynns old room will be free to set up for the new baby. Like most clucky ladies before me, this is the part i'm most excited about because it means re-decorating! Somewhat unfortunately, when expecting Flynn and knowing he was a boy, we went ahead and painted that room blue.... but this time around i have neither the time, energy nor inclination to repaint. I figure a baby girl can quite easily live in a blue room, as long as i give it a few feminine touches! And, seeing as in my head i'm a totally awesome crafty mama, i've gone ahead and started the re-decoration by making a bunting to go above her cot. As i dont actually own a sewing machine, anything i make will have to be hand sewn so i'm only part way done, but the finished product will be alternate plain/printed triangular flags with the letters to spell out her name ( which, yes, has been decided on but is a closely guarded secret til she arrives! ).

I'm also planning on using the same plain and printed materials to make some "art " to go on the opposite wall of her room. Its something i've never done before but i figure if i can source the right type of backing board and astaple gun i should be right! So - what do you think? Is it easier for a little girl to live with blue than it is for a boy to live with pink? And are you a wannabe DIY-crafty lady like me or is it pre-made/shop bought all the way for you?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Forget Them Not

After mentioning in my last post how i was looking forward to Anzac Day i have to say how proud I am of my little man.


We decided to attend our local Anzac day march this year and Mick asked his father if Flynn could wear his great-grandfathers medals. We told him who they belonged to and that Poppa Charlie got them for "being very brave ". ( "Brave " to Flynn is not crying when you get your immunisation needles, but i digress... ). Then i told him that at the march we clap and we wave and we say thank you to all the Nannies and Poppies for making us safe. Thats the simplest way i could think of to explain why we honour and uphold the Anzac Day traditions.

Even though Poppa Charlies medals accdientally broke ( not the medals themselves but the rusted old safety pin holding them together ) and they couldnt be worn, i was still so proud of Flynn. We met up with the rest of our family - my neice was marching with her school - and Flynn sat up on his Poppies shoulders so he could see. He sat up their and he clapped his little heart, and he waved to the veterans who leaned out of their cars and waved to the crowds. He gave them the " thumbs up " and i even once or twice heard him say " Thank you Poppies! "... i seriously almost burst into tears at how beautifully poignant it all was. Here was my little man, not even 3 years old, and nowhere near old enough to fully appreciate what had been done for him by these men and women, but i'm confident that the Australian spirit is already well instilled in him.

Of course, in the afternoon we also had my dad's birthday to celebrate and Flynn had ( at my urging, of course ) drawn him a beautiful picture of Pops garden, that we had turned into a birthday card. Of course " Pops garden " looked very much like a huge brown scribble surrounded by dots and dashes of colour, but Flynn was very proud of himself and it gave my Dad the biggest smile when he handed him his card and said " Happy Birthday Old Fella! " - at which point he grinned cheekily and then zoomed off on his tricycle.

Anzac Day may not be the most joyful of days, but i certainly had myself one enjoyable day yesterday. Now, onto Saturday and our garage reno, bbq lunch and then " The Avengers " film on Sunday afternoon!

Friday, April 20, 2012

Future Motivation

So after yesterdays dreary little post, i'm trying to keep the motivation on track. I figure the best way to do that is to just post as often as i can, everyday if possible, whether i have much to say or not. If i dont have anything to actually talk about, maybe i'll just post a photo or a music video or... i dont know... just something. I've found in the past that the best way to find motivation is to just start " doing ", and "doing " regularly, until whatever it is becomes a habit that you enjoy.

And so, in the interests of keeping this blog alive ( and to take up sometime, seeing as this office is beyond quiet today ) i thought i might make a small list of things i am looking forward to in the next few months ( not exactly in chronological order, because i have a slight case of baby brain and i forget specifics like dates ):

1. Anzac Day - sure, its nice to get a day off during the middle of the week, but Anzac Day is also my Dads birthday. We see him pretty much everyday, but i'm looking forward to getting Flynn to draw him a picture or do him some "craft " and watching both of their faces light up when Poppy unwraps it. We're also planning on taking Flynn to his first Anzac march this year, so that important too.
2. Having our garage converted - from a garage into a bedroom/playroom for Flynn. It will mean more space for Flynn to play, less toys in my loungeroom ( in theory ) and once Flynn has moved out, his old room will be ready t set up for Little Miss Jelly!
3. " Elmo's World Tour " - this Sesame Street stage show is coming to our regional theatre and got Flynn and myself front row tickets! He loved The Wiggles but Elmo and the Sesame Street gang are Flynn's favourites, so i'm looking forward to seeing his awesome "excited " face!
4. Roadtrip to Sydney - just me and Mick. As we're business owners now, and Mick is really the only driver we have, he cant take annual leave for at least the first year or two... all of which made me think that we need to take every opportunity we have to get away ( ie public holidays ) or to make our opportunity. So i got all sneaky and booked us a weekend down in Sydney with the aim of doing something that we would each enjoy. So the Saturday morning we'll have a sticky beak at the Baby and Toddler Expo at Homebush, and then in the afternoon i've booked us a one hr ride around the city, out to Bondi and return, on the back of a Harley Davidson trike. I'm not sure which bit i'm more excited about ( aww hell, i'm dying to get on this trike! ) all i know is that we better get nice weather or we'll have to reschedule our trike tour - which would mean a roadtrip down with a small baby sometime later this year.... :/

And thats about enough for now. There is Mothers Day of course, and i'm still tossing up whether to attend our belated ten year school reunion on the June long weekend.... and how can i forget there is a baby coming sometime in August! I just know that i seem to cope better, to function better, when i have something on my calendar to look forward to, to keep me going. Its so much easier to make it throughe the day when you can say " Man, today sucks the big one... but hey, i get to see Elmo next week! "

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Where I've Been...

So - i guess you may be wondering why i've been missing in action the last fortnight? ( You know, or not - you might have all left and i could just be talking to myself here ). The truth is that sneaky old " black dog " has caught up with me again and as those of you have also suffered depression know - well, its just not all that good for motivation.

I can put my hand up and admit it - i'm back seeing a counsellor and working through cognitive behaviour therapy again. Perhaps its partly all this extra oestrogen pumping around my body, perhaps it was the 3 major life events ( wedding/pregnancy/starting a business ) all within 2 months of each other that has pushed me over the edge, but those sneaky negative thoughts and anxieties are back with a vengeance. The good news is that this time i'm old enough and wise enough to recognise them for what they are - and i am one bazillion percent determined to get them under control before my gorgeous baby girl gets here.

I will not let myself sink under the black clouds this time. I owe to Mick and to Flynn to be the wife and mother that they deserve, i owe it to my unborn daughter to be a strong capable woman who will raise her to be the same. But, most of all, i owe it to myself. I have come too far, through too much shit ( for lack of a better word - lets face it, depression is complete and utter shit ) to lose " me " in a sea of wife/mother/daughter/business owner and whatever the hell else i am supposed to be.

So - the good news is i'm back. The bad news is i've gone all "head-case " again. Or as Matchbox20 so succintly put it ... " I'm not crazy, i'm just a little unwell "....

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

(Un)Guessing Game

Please, play along at home, guessing from these images:

Give up? ( Or read my Facebook already and know the answer ) ?

The answer is: i got called in by my radiology place yesterday, asking if i'd like to fill a cancellation and after a good half hour of playing around with the 4d scanning system, jiggling, shaking and very gently threatening to ground my child for life, we finally got a a nice, clear, undeniable shot of our

Yes ladies and gentleman, after much effort - and a much nicer, happier, more satisfying experience than last week - we managed to get a good flash of Little Jelly's personal bits. We had tried on and off for half an hour: the first attempt bubby had its legs crossed, so we checked out the brain and face; the second time the umbilical cord was quite clearly in the way, so we did the limbs; the third time the hands that had previously been up in front of the face had migrated to the privates, so we got some nice clear shots of the heart. At the end of half an hour we got half a flash of something, enough for the sonographer and tech installing the 4d to both go " Is that what you thought? Looked like... ? Hmm... ". At this point the lovely sonographer suggested i go empty out my bladder and maybe give my belly a shake... so i went to the bathroom and i shook my money maker for all it was worth!

Went back in, lie back down and straight away - ta da! Full exposure! Both sonographers sort of did this nod thing, went " Yep, it is ", froze the pic on the screen and pointed out the " ...very definate lack of a " thing " - that ones a girl ... ". I dont think you could have wiped the smile from my face if you'd tried! It was fantastic to be able to find out the gender, and a double positive because Mick had admitted he wanted a girl, and Flynn would say " its a sissssster! " 9 times out of 10 when asked. So now we're all looking forwarded welcoming a little more oestrogen, and a whole lot more pink, to our house come mid-late August!