Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Am I selfish ?

Sometimes i sit alone, in the dark, and just think. Or cry. And not like at night, in bed, trying to sleep - i sit in the hallway, the lights still on in the living room, sound from the TV, and just pretend like i'm not there. No-one's there. Thats what it feels like - sometimes i am so utterly lonely that it seems like no-one else in the world exists. That not even i exist. And then i berate myself for being so stupid. I have family and friends who love me, adore me, cherish me.

But sometimes thats not enough.


  1. oh my angel - you aren't selfish.

    you are allowed 'me' time.

    and i agree, sometimes it isn't enough.

  2. Its not the " me " time i want, my love. What i want is " me and someone else " time.

    I'm freaking tired of being alone. So Richard ( welcome by the way! ) what will be enough is when i do have someone else to share time with, someone who loves me, who i love back, who thinks i'm sexy first thing in the morning or after the gym, who lies with his arms around me on the couch while we watch " Grey's Anatomy ", you comes down the pub and has at least one dance with me... you know, that kind of mushy, girly stuff. That might be enough...

  3. i know the feeling. it only comes when you've stopped hoping for it - i imagine anyway...