Quick note - i am ridiculously embarrassed and feel like a failure. Kind of.
I went to the gym yesterday morning, i rolled out of bed an hour and half earlier than i normally would, and kept an appointment with one of the trainers so that we could set up a program and she could show me how to use the equipment properly.We were going well - i showed i could handle an incline on the treadmill, and the reverse leg curl machine wasnt as scary as she made it sound and then what happens ? I go pale white, and have to run to the bathroom to throw up.
I am not one of the BIggest Losers - i do not have incredible amounts of weight to lose, nor am i being thrown into hard exercise for the first time. But, for some reason, my body decided to fail me, and make me feel like a failure aswell. The trainer was lovely about it - she took my blood pressure, which happened to be 100/40, which apparently is not good at all - but i am left wondering if she thinks me weak.
No matter - i went home, at some more breakfast, had a shower, and went to work - and got on with it. I thought " I can feel miserable and sick all day, or i can suck it up and carry on ". So i did - down a girl at work, i did everything on my own, efficiently, and i felt good for it. Tonight, i will go to the gym and i will push myself hard and i will prove that i CAN do it without fainting like some loverlorn Scarlett O'Hara.
And i will keep this positive veiwpoint up, as long as i can...
How did I disappear from my life?
1 month ago