Where Is The Young Mummy Love ?

So - i want to talk about the whole mummy sisterhood thing again ( apologies to those readers of mine who arent actually mothers - you're probably sick of hearing about it by now ). Seems like the whole sisterhood doesnt exactly extend past the " Baby Boomer " generation, or at least it hasnt in my experience. Let me explain:

My mothers group gets together on a Thursday morning, around 10am. We go to a cafe ( one that had enough to room to accomodate at least 10 women and, thusly, 10 prams ) and have a bit of a coffee and much conversation. Some of it is trivial - " Did you see such-an-such a movie ? " - but, of course, much of it revolves around our babies and our mothering experiences. Its nice to be able to share with other new mums, women that havent been through it before and have just as little clue as i do. We arent overly raucous however when your in a group of 10 or more sometimes you do have to speak up a little so that you can be heard across, or down, the table. This hasnt been a problem before - at 10am on a Thursday morning most cafes around here are pretty empty ( which is why our prams fit! ) or very quiet at the least. Not yesterday, however - yesterday we got asked to stop talking.

We had two babies having their " half birthday " ( ie. they were 6 months old ) so we had a little cake for them. Their mothers, naturally, were trying to figure out which of the bubs was actually older so started along the lines of " Oh, i went into labour the day before but he didnt arrive until.... ". Now, mind you, we didnt go into intimate, gory details - we may at some point, but thus far the sharing of labour stories hasnt much gone past what drugs we used and how long it all went. So, anyhoo, yesterday we're trying to figure out who was born first..... and one of the mums said " Man, my water broke then wooosh...and it was all on! ". Thats almost word for word mind you - no more, no less. Then, from a table behind us we hear - " Umm, ladies, thats enough ! ". We all look over and this old lady, sitting with another old lady and old man, goes " Really - i've been there and done that and now i'm trying to enjoy my morning tea ". What the?!?

Seriously - nothing more shocking then " my water broke... " and this old bird was asking us, politely, to shut up. How freaking rude! We have every right to gather and discuss that type of thing, and we have every right to en joy that type of discussion with OUR morning tea. Lord, nobody mentioned vaginas, or stitches, or dialation or anything vaguely " rude".... just water breaking and what time contractions started. I'd hate to see what her reaction would have been had one of us had to pop a boob out to feed our child - she might have had a bloody fit! Just because she wouldnt have had the same kind of group for support and advice in her day, or had the chance to discuss birth stories or bodily changes with anyone ( not even her mother and/or sister ) doesnt mean we shouldnt be able to. She should be proud, and happy, that women of the generation she would have raised worked hard to allow us the f reedom to break taboos. But no - she just wanted us to stop our conversation so she could enjoy a cup of tea.

So boo hoo to you, you old bag! Perhaps next time when you see a gathering of young women with babies and prams you'll be smart enough to figure out its a mothers group - and you can bugger off somewhere else for your precious morning tea!

Why Hello There, Little, Old, Me.....

Welcome to Challenge 34 over at Blog This!. The challenge topic this time is:
If you met your younger self - What would you tell yourself? Would you give advice? What advice would that be? Ask about your perception of the world? Give us an idea of who you think you were or who you think you'll be in the future...

( Note, i have done a post similar in topic to this back in 2007, but in the past two years i've learnt so much more! So this challenge post is a completely new and different post to the old one.... )

If i were able to travel back in time, Marty McFly style, and have a bit of a deep and meaningful with my younger self, i think there would have to be three key bits of advice i'd have to impart to teenage me:
Number one: DO NOT LISTEN TO YOUR NEGATIVE SELF-VOICE. Seriously, thats in capital letters for a reason, 'cause its pretty damn important. You miss out on so much fun and adventure because you listen so attentively to your worst critic - you. Thats right, its nobody else saying it but you. Its entirely in your head, and in your head is where you'll be spending most of your formative years if you dont tell your inner critic to back the fork off, okay? Turn it off, tune it out and instead of backing out of things when they get a little scary, run into them head first and see which parts hit and which parts glance right off without so much as a scratch.

Number two: Save more money.  How very pedestrian of me to advise you, but yea - save more money. You start working at the age of 14 which means you've literally earned hundreds of thousands of dollars, but now at 26 its nowhere to be found. I'm not saying you have to turn all Scrooge on me and not spend a single cent - i'm just saying maybe dont waste so much of it on crap. CD's are great and all ( although you could have done without East 17's " Walthamstow " or Ricky Martins self titled release... ) and its great having a different top to wear for every day of the month, but all that money frittered away on junk could have had you paying off more of your house or got you overseas sooner, and more often. Future-You loves to travel, but you wont get to do all that much of it ( a year sent living overseas and one short trip to SE Asia ) before your first child arrives because Young-You didnt save, save, save!

Lastly, Number three: Pay more attention at your Year 12 formal. Particularly to a young man that comes as a guest of one of your classmates. His name is Mick and you will meet him 8 years into the future, fall madly in love, get engaged and have a gorgeous baby boy. When you meet, you have no idea you were both at that same function all those years ago, and find it amusing that the universe sees fit to bring you back together after that first faint brush with fate. If you had both only known, you could have been together so much sooner, and both of your lives would have been completely different!
Also, rethink the velvet dress- right cut, right colour, wroooooooong fabric.......

Dearest me

So i have been tagged, by the lovely Miss Gates, and challenged to write a post - a letter addressed to my 13 year old self. It wont be pretty, but here goes:

Dearest 13 year old Me,

Your going to have to read this very carefully, and take all my advice to heart. I know you really dislike being told what to do - you do, after all, have a mind of your own - but if you dont pay attention that independent mind that you value so dearly will turn itself in on you to the point of wanting to die. THis is no exaggeration.

Firstly, your English teacher Miss Martin, is not an uppity bitch. She appears that way because this is her first proper teaching gig so she is nervous, by the end of Yr 8, you will both have a mutual admiration for each other. She will make you think Shakespeare is cool and encourage you to write, and you will realise that the only reason it appeared that she was picking on you was because she was trying to challenge what she recognised as a feirce intellect.

Secondly, be nicer to your mother. I know you are like chalk and cheese and sometimes you feel like you hate her - HATE her - but you know what? You dont. You hate you, you just dont realise it yet. Sure, she gets on your nerves because you are really as different as two people can be but she's trying to help you, to be there for you, to be the best mother she can be, in her own weird way. So cut her some slack, ok ?

Here's the important paragraph, so pay attention. I'm going to spell this out in big capital letters, because you need for this to sink in: NOBODY IS THINKING THAT ABOUT YOU. Thats right - nody is thinking you are any of the following - too smart; too fat; not pretty enough; not cool enough; uninteresting; unfriendly; retarded, lame, disgusting, hideous or anything other crap you can come up with in that over-active brain of yours. If you keep thinking, and believing, those things you're going to do your head in. You will wind up living inside your own thoughts and you will miss what are supposed to be the best years of your life. So if you want to have a boyfriend soemtime during high school, to be invited to all the " cool " parties, to be able to shar secrets with your girlfriends without fear of being ridiculed stop believing your own, made up press and begin putting yourself out there. You will most probably suffer embarrassments at some point, but you will thank me for it later.

What else ? You're going to go on a school excursion later this year. When you are crying by the pool and Ryan asks why and he sits next to and tries to have a conversation, do not shy away. You think he's cool, make sure he knows it.
Dont stop playing netball. You'll miss it when your 23 and too old and out of shape to get back into it.
By the end of Year 12, tell Casey to pull her finger out and stop being such bitch. You know she is, everyone else knows it, someone needs to let her in on the secret. Also, when you walk out of Mr Hanson's dont just walk out while he's stalked off down to the staff room. Wait til he comes back and proceed to tell him what a c**t he is - THEN walk out.
Try to get overseas sooner. Super Cheap was a nice place to work but you cam alive when you were living away. Keep going to counselling and stay on the anti-depressants to work through your shit than leave as soon is financially possible.

And i thats all i can think of right now. Aside from being good to your family - believe me, you will learn to appreciate them - and keeping up a positive mindset, i dont want to burden you with too much. I want you to use that independent thinking of yours ( i am still you after all, i'd die without my own free will ), i still want you to make your own minor mistakes. Just trust me on the big stuff i've mentioned, yea?

Your ever-loving, slightly-screwed-up, pseudo-hippie 23 year old self.