The Unveiling of the Secret Plan

So in the past few posts, I have hinted at a “ plan “ I have. Before you get too excited, this plan does not involve high-flying travel, millions of dollars, or joining the CIA. Rather, it is a plan for getting myself the hell out of here – out of DubVegas, out of my rut and out of the doldrums.

Yes, that’s right, I have finally got my act together and decided to move away from Dubbo. I know that there is one of you in particular who may be reading this that suggested a move away from my hometown a long time ago, and now I’m trying to put that into motion. After the last few months of frustration and disgruntlement in my job, and going back into counseling with a psychologist and general “ my life is a big pile of poo “-ness, I sat back and hard a good hard look at who I am and where I’m headed, and I decided the future wasn’t looking all that bright. I’d always said, from the time I was in my early teens, that I didn’t want to live here forever, but I’ve just never been able to determine the right time to go. So, in sitting back and taking this objective look at my life as it is, I thought “ If not now, when ? Who says this isn’t the right time ? It could be the wrong time, but if I don’t make that leap, how will I ever know ? “

So that’s what I’m doing. I’m leaping. Not without looking mind you, I don’t want to break my leg or anything.

I’m making said leap – to Sydney. I’m not expecting anything to happen too immediately, but I’m hoping to be able to make a start down there by the end of the year. I’ve started applying for jobs down there, mostly around the western suburbs and inner west, and have started keeping an eye on rental properties and prices. I’ve checked out train routes and surfed Google Maps to see how far certain suburbs are from one another. I’ve spoken to P and to one of my uncles about keeping an eye out for work opportunities, and also about crashing at their places if I got a job but couldn’t find a place to live right away. To tell the truth, I’m kind of excited.

And you know what ? I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I feel like now that I finally have a semi-clear idea of what I want and how to get it, its like a veil has been lifted and I can see so much better now. Far from being anxious or nervous at what might be coming, the prospect of living a new challenge has me brimming with confidence. I’ve been cheerier, more contented, the past few weeks than I have been for a long, long time. There have been a few decisions that I’ve had to make that have seen momentary downturns in mood, but for the most part its been smooth and happy sailing.

The only decision that’s had me a little “ flip-floppy “ thus far has been this – I’ve decided to move back in with my parental units. Yes, I’m returning to the nest that only a couple of years ago I was all too eager to flee. The move home was actually my dads suggestion – shock!horror! – but it makes perfect sense. See, my sister has lost her fulltime job and cant afford to live out of home with me anymore, and in her leaving I would be back to paying all the rent and all the bills myself. My Dad rightly pointed out how would I save any money for an impending move if I was spending it all on the cost of living on my lonesome? So the idea was put to me that I move back into the family abode, back into my old room, put all my furniture in storage, and save the money I would be paying to a landlord. I agree, that IS a good idea ( why else would I agree to it ? ) but it did pose a few immediate issues. When was I ever going to get some “ alone time “ ? How was I going to be able to walk around in my underwear and get dressed in front of the heater in the morning ? And forget any intimacy with RNG ( who I haven’t mentioned in a while…. ) – that shan’t be happening under my parents roof! But I guess those are the sacrifices I’m going to have to make in an effort to find a life, and myself. On the upside I’ll almost always have someone to hang out with; I’ll only have to cook one night a week and I wont have to pay for groceries anymore.

So there you be, ladies and gentlepersons – the unveiling of my secret plan. Everybody wish me luck and if any of you have any tips or tricks or ideas that you want to pass on, please do.
Viva la vida, people, viva la vida!

My Weekend, A Story In 3 Parts: Part 3 - Where I Have To Go Home

Yes, I realize that I’ve dragged this story out a little bit – the weekend in question was two weekends ago, but I figured if I’ve labeled it a story in 3 parts, I best finish the third part. In truth the third part is the most boring, but its also the shortest. It’s the bit where I have to pack up my crap, say farewell to P, and head back home to DubVegas.

Like I said, we both loved Cirque Du Soliel’s “ Dralion “ and I loved being able to share it with P, because she hasn’t seen anything like it before. We had planned on having dinner in the Entertainment Quarter before we headed back to the mountains, but we kind of stuffed ourselves full of popcorn during the show and weren’t really hungry anymore. So, rather than hang out for a nice little dinner in the “ city “ we just headed straight home. This wasn’t exactly a bad thing – it gave us the opportunity for more chat without having to hear each other over the din of other diners, plus we made it home in time to catch the majority of the Australia vs Springboks rugby test match . Which, for any Saffa’s reading this, we won.

And that’s about it. Sunday morning, P hosted a Tupperware party. For any women who’ve ever been to one we all know they aren’t the most exciting of events, but I bought this neat little chopper machine – no more tears when cutting onions! Will chop any firm vegetables such as carrots or potato! And, midway through the post-Tupperware ramble, I had to make my exit. The party had started late because other than myself and her mother-in-law, none of P’s other friends know how to be punctual, so I had to say a quick goodbye to P and let her get back to her hosting duties. I would have preferred if I’d had a little more time to say “ hey, had an awesome weekend, thanks for hanging out, I miss you big lots already! “ but these things happen.

And that was it, weekend over. Except for my four and half hour drive home, during which I turned up my road tripping music and gave my best “ Australian Idol “ audition impression ever. And don’t be laughing – you know you all do it too. That’s half the fun of traveling by yourself – you can make like you’re the biggest rock star ever and there’s no-one there to laugh at you.

So, in closing, a big thanks to P for being my bestest buddy, and I’d like to thank the Australian public for voting me their Idol…..

My Weekend, A Story In 3 Parts:Part 2 - Where I Almost Make P Cry

So we enjoyed our dinner at The Mean Fiddler. Incidentally, police statistics released earlier this year showed The Mean Fiddler to be the most violent pub in the state - and my uncle, who is a police sargeant, chose to take us there. Weird. Anyways, we drove the 30 minutes back to P's place ( talking about my uncle and his girlfriend all the way there ) and guess what we found on our return ? P's hubby ( PH) and his best friend S playing Nintendo Wii. We love Wii! Needless to say the next two hours wre spent in a battle for Wii supremacy. We were playing this really nonsensical game with " rabid rabbits " - I was pretty awesome at shooting them with plungers, but not so great at punching them in time to the disco beat. Apparently, i have no ryhthm. And - suprise, suprise - P and I headed to our respective beds WAY before the boys did....

It might have been all the Nintendo played the night before, but come Saturday morning everyone woke up a little sluggish. A little blah, a little meh. I got out of bed at 8:45am and didnt drag myself off to the shower until 11am. Even then it was only because P said we were going to a birthday party at 12pm and if we didnt get a shuffle we'd be late. Who's birthday party, you ask ? A one year olds. A happy 1st birthday. And as entirely un-awesome asit may sound to attend the 1st birthday party of a child you dont know, it was nice to see P interacting with him. I know how badly she wants to be a mother and, also though she doesnt verbalise it, how much she worries about being good at it. In my humble opinion - P will make a great mum! And i'll be an awesome surrogate aunty, the one with the tattoos and crazy travel stories. By the way, it was at this party we made the pact to become " fat nannas " together. Everyone loves a fat nanna - you know, the chubby nan who bakes all the time and lets you sit on her lap for a nanna hug ? Thats going to be us. Fat Nannas.

But i digress. We newly appointed Fat Nannas of the future excused ourselves early and hit the highway. See, the main reason for my visit was that i had got tickets for P and I to see Cirque Du Soleil and it was time to make our way from the mountains to the city. Woo hoo! Now, i dont live in the city but i know how to get from the mountains to Moore Park but guess what ? It was World Youth Day ( Miss Em will feel my pain here ) and there were road closures. Bloody pilgrims! No matter - P and I are two very capable women and were able to read a map and make it there within an hour, no wrong turns or anything. Its okay, you dont have to say it - we rock.

Not only did we make it with no mishaps, we made it with plenty of time up our sleeves. Icecream and a chat solved that dilemma. We grabbed some New Zealand Natural ( mmm... macadamia flavour ) and settled in to deep and meaningful mode. Seeing as it was WYD we settled into some serious religious discussion. As i said, P is newly married, she wants to start a family and I guess she must be looking for that elsuive " something ", because she ecpressed an interest in suddenly attending church and maybe sending any future children to a Catholic school. Curious, i asked why ? P said that all the hype surrounding WYD, the entusiasm of the pilgrims for their faith, the prayers - all that had made her feel good. She thought going to church even once a month might work the same, and it would nice for her children to have God in their lives. Normally i would make some kind of joke but i could see that she was serious. She asked what i thought - i ahd to be honest with her. I told her that i love her and if she felt thats what she needed, and wanted, then i support her 100% - its just not for me. I had religion rammed down my throat when i was younger and at the age of 15 i told my mother, and my priest, that i wouldnt be going to church anymore, that i did believe in God. And i dont - i believe in good and evil, but i dont believe in God and the Devil. I believe the 10 Commandments are good guidelines ( notice i didnt say rules ...) but you should live your life well because it enriches you as a person, not because some supposed spiritual being told you to. I told her that even though it wasnt for me, i had respect that it IS for other people. My respect for others beliefs and how serious they are taken extends so far that, when asked to be my neices godmother, i said no. I told my brother and his wife although i love my neice to bits and that i would always be there for her, i could not go into a place of worship and profess to believing in God and promising to raise her in His church - just to gain some kind of title. That would make me hypocritical.

Thats when i turned back to P. I had been vaguely people-watching as i spoke and when i turned back P had tears in her eyes and this horrified look on her face. " But PH and I had alreayd picked you to be the godmother of our first child ". She looked like i had just broken her heart and her voice was breaking as she spoke. I gave her a hug - " We already picked you and now your saying you wont do it... ". I felt like a complete douche - she was nearly crying! I sat back and explained to her that of course i wanted to be her first borns godmother, it wasnt the godmothering that i was against - it was the trivialisation and manipulation of some people's sacred beliefs and hypocrisy that i was against. Those are my personal principles, a moral code, if you like, that i try and live by, even if it means not gaining something i would like. Then P totally blew me away - " Amy, you must be the strongest person i know ". Verbatim. Thats what she said. And THAT almost made me cry. After some of the shit i have had gone through, lows i've had, how weak i sometimes consider myself, for my best friend to say that i'm the strongest person she knows meant a hell of a lot. And that was it - no more tears. A deep and meaningful to remember.

And then it was show time! I wont go into details because, frankly, this post has gone long enough and i'm suprised anybody is still reading it. Suffice to say, it was awesome. I had seen two Cirque Du Soleil productions before so i knew what to expect, but i'm glad P really enjoyed it. It was nice to be able to share something i like so much within someone totally new to it.

I love sharing!

And then

My Weekend, A Story In 3 Parts: Part 1 - Introducing P

You may have noticed I've been a little inactive over the last few days and thats because I gave myself a two days of the working week off and had a lovely " mental health break ". It was important for my sanity that I have a weekend to just go, hangout and just " be ". And who was i hanging out with ? P, my best friend.

P and I met in high school. She transferred to my school in Year 8 and she was introduced, by the principal, during my English class. You know, it was one of those, " This is P, she's new here, everyone make her feel welcome " kind of situations. As it happened ( and as i frequently like to remind her ), I tried to make her welcome and she was a gigantic, sour biatch. Yes, thats right, on our first meeting I and my other friend V invited P to hang out with us at lunch time and she just looked at us, turned her back and walked off without saying a word. She likes to blame it on being shy and nervous on her first day - I say she was just a big old snobby cow.

Nevertheless, we slowly developed a friendship and by Year 12, our final year of school, we were bestest buddies. We recited line after line of " Billy Madison " and " Dude, Where's My Car ? "; I jumped a fence to back her up during a fight when she was dressed as our school mascot; she laughed everytime i got in trouble off our English teacher ( Buttman, as we dubbed him ) and followed me when i walked out of his class during our last semester. We never went back. We spent English lessons hanging out on a picnic blanket on the grass, near enough to his classroom that he could glare at us through the window. It was the best of times ..... and i'd say the worst of times , but we've never really had any. We've been pretty solid for around nine years, except for a brief period where i thought i was being " dumped " for someone else. But mostly we've been all sweet, and i've really learnt to love and appreciate her.

P now lives four and half hours drive away from me, with her new hubby and her " fur children " ( their term, not mine ). I get along really well with her husband so its not weird going and spending the weekend with two newlyweds. And the fur chidlren.

So off i trundled on Thursday to spend some much needed relaxation time with P. We had some actual " stuff " planned but mostly it was just a chance to catch up and have the deep and meaningfuls that its not as much fun to have over the phone. Her husband cooked us dinner ( she has him well trained .... ) and we settled in for a double episode of " The Amazing Race ". Her husband faded pretty quickly and headed to bed, which left us alone to discuss important things like my recent dates, the plan i am yet to reveal to you all, trying to get pregnant ( her, not me ... ) and how we would make the most awesome-est Amazing Race team - like ever! You know, all the good and important stuff that best friends talk about. We headed to bed late, tired and thirsty from the chit chat. That made it really easy to fall asleep - i had the best nights rest i've had in a LONG time.

Friday saw us doing mundane stuff - like grocery shopping. In fairness, we did need ingredients for the Toblerone cheesecake i had volunteered to make, and P did volunteer to take me shopping for shoes - but i turned that down. I know, i'm teh biggest freak in the world turning down shoe shopping, but honestly i didnt really have the money to spend - just the time. We hang out reading magazines and jibber-jabbering all afternoon and had dinner with my uncle and his girlfriend ( who, incidentally, he proposed to the next day - she said yes! ) at The Mean Fiddler. I ordered a seafood basket with marinated octopus and put a baby one on my fork and wiggled it at her. Immature yes, but thats how we are.

Did you forget that we can recite line after line of " Billy Madison " ?

Songs for all occasions: Part # 2

So, now to part 2 of my " Songs For All Occasions " series: wedding songs. I know that pondering funeral songs may be morbid, and that some of you may see thinking about songs that you would play at your ( as of yet non-existent ) wedding as slightly desperate..... but dont try and tell me you've never once thought of it, even in jest. You know you have!
And now, here for your viewing and listening pleasure, are five songs that i would consider having played at my nuptials:

1. " Seeing Angels " - John Butler Trio
2. " Just Because " - Nikka Costa
3. " Desire " - Ryan Adams
4. " With Or Without You " - U2
5. " Just Say Yes " - Ben Lee

Admittedly, there are more songs that, when i hear them, i think " Aww, wouldnt that make a beautiful wedding song ? " But these are the five that i would go for right now. Numbers 1 and 2 are in that order for a reason - heart melting lyrics. Observe:

From " Seeing Angels " by the John Butler Trio we have :

Take me for what you see

For I'm transparent in the light of you.

And look inside,

See that fire burning bright

The same one you rekindled inside me

My mouth was dry

Only you quenched my thirst

Or From " Just Because " by Nikka Costa :

I take you in and

I hold my breath

Try to save the time that's passing by

And if you came to say goodbye

A thousand summers would never dry

Every tear that touched my face

And they don't laugh the way you do

And they don't smile the way you do

And their eyes don't shine the way yours do

I love

I love

I love you just because

See now - hasn't your heart just melted into a giant puddle on the floor?

Songs for all occasions: Part #1

So i'm going to borrow an idea from the wonderful Steph over at The Panic Room - she recently madea tongue-in-cheek post about what songs she would consider having played at her funeral ( because she couldnt picture ever getting married .... ). I, however, have actually considered these from time to time and am going to make a list of actual choices i would make, if anybody asks me in advance. It might be morbid, but it think i've mentioned to my mother once or twice " Hey, can you hear this song ? Play it for me when i die! ". To which she usually replies " I'll already be dead by then! " . Yep - morbid. Anyhoodle, here's my list:

• " It Can't Rain All The Time " - Jane Siberry
• " Dance With You " - Live
• " Hallelujah " - Jeff Buckley ( or the version by KD Lang )
• " Walk On " - U2
• " Don't Dream Its Over " - Crowded House

And thats about all for now. There are others I have considered from time to time, but nothing that i can remember right now from the top of my head. I'd want something poignant, something that people would listen to and go " Yep, thats Amy.... ", whether it be because if the lyrics ( whether because they literally remind them of me, or the ideas conveyed remind them of me ) or for the melody and kind of song it is.

I cant help that i've actually thought this thing through - its just one of those things that scrossed my mind before. You know what else has crossed my mind? What songs i would played at any future wedding ( if indeed there ever is one... )

Watch out for wedding songs as the second part of this post!

I think Eight Is Enough ....

Alright, so its meme time again. I think its only fair that i do this one because the wonderful Miss Gates of If These Walls Could Talk has tagged me to do it - because i tagged her for one last week. It's a tag-a-thon! So apparently i'm supposed to make a list of eight personal things that you reader type person's dont already know..... crap. Here's what i came up with:

1. I eat the same thing for breakfast every morning - peanut butter on toasted grain bread. If i eat something different, say if i'm holidays or i've run out of peanut butter, i geta little narky and the day just isnt the same.
2. My hair falls out. Everyday when i wake up i run my hands through my hair and starnds of it will come away, or end clumped in my comb. Don't get me wrong, i'm not going bald or anything, its just that i have a LOT of hair and it apparently replenishes itself quite frequently. However, i found just a little gross that i shed hair like some kind of exotic cat...
3. My brother and i got into a physical fight once, when we were younger. He chocked me so hard he made my nose bleed. I cried and everything but, secretly, it was exhilarating. Fight Club anyone?
4. Because i dont drink milk, my nails are really brittle and constantly crack, break or peel. Gross.
5. Though i am completely anal about keeping DVD's and CD's in perfect, alphabetical and chronological order, this sense of order does not extend to my bedroom. If you stood at my bedroom door you would see my bed floating in a sea of clothes. They arent dirty mind, you just clean clothes that i dump on the floor, thinking i'll fold them and put them away later. I havent yet.
6. My first kiss was with a guy named Kenny, behind the girls toilets at my primary school. I think we were in fifth grade so it was one of those " shut your eyes, lean in, and pucker up " type kisses. From memory, i think their were about 15 other kids watching to see if we actually did it or not.
7. I did not vomit after a drinking session until i was 20 and half. Thats about 4 years of drinking experience without chucking up. I considered myself a legend until that fateful night.... its been all downhill from there.
8. I secretly want to try, just once, a nudist beach. Just to see if i had the guts. I'd say balls, but if it were a nudist beach it wouldnt only prove that i dont... hee hee hee.

Oh, wait, there was a second part to this meme.

• Tell me how wonderful I am before you tag 8 other bloggers

Well, SheenaBee, here goes - you are the most wonderful, gorgeous, witty, outrageous, compassionate, fabulous Saffa blogger in the blogosphere. You simultaneously make me feel jealous, appreciative, sad, happy, in love and murderous with rage. You are many things to many people but to me, you are a friend.

How'd i do ?

Now, can i name eight other bloggers who wont kill me for tagging them ?

1. Paula
2. Miss Em
3. CoffeeCup
4. Globus
5. Ruby
6. Lord Snuffy
7. SonnyVsDan ( although Sheena already tagged him... )
8. Anyone else who'd like to

And there you be - meme done!