Great Google-y Gaga! ( Or 7 Reasons Why I Hate Lady Gaga )

Every once in a while , as a blogger, you get curious as to what your stats are, and you feel the need to go and check them out ( although i'm never checking Klout again - Klout makes me sad ). I also feel the need to reminisce every now and then, to take a walk down the bloggy memory lane - to read old posts and comments, and ponder whether anything much has changed since then. And when i get that urge to re-read my old stuff the first post i go to is this one...

For those of you who have been here long enough to remember ( or for those of you too lazy to check the linky... ) i am, of course, talking about the infamous Lady Gaga post of August 2009. The one in which i (tongue-in-cheek-edly ) listed my grievances with the great Lady.... which in turn earned me a crapload of comments. But not the good kind. No, no, the majority of these are the " you stupid bitchface wanker mole ! " kind of comments, the ones most often found spewing forth from the fingers of the seemingly infinite amount of keyboard warriors lurking on the Inter-Webs.

So, seeing as that particular post got such rave reviews ( raving mad maybe... ) why do i feel the need to check it now and again? Because it STILL GETS COMMENTS! I wrote the damn thing over two years ago and its still attracting new readers and a new breed of passionate Gaga geeks. As of last night, the comment count is up to 207. So, to all you crazy Gaga lovers who continue to want my blood, please find this new list for your to stew over:

1. There is no list! I dont hate her - in fact, i'll admit to some of the releases off her new album being quite the funky jam. She still doesnt wear pants but she no longer carries around the stupid tea cup, so there's that. However, what i do hate is ridiculously over passionate celebrity-loving trolls who have nothing better to do than sit behind their computer screens and take every humorous jibe personally. So feel free to continue to comment on the old post - i will get there to read it eventually, and when i have I ( and everybody else ) can sit back and have a laugh at how ridiculously uptight you are.

Thanks for making me smile nutjobs!

Oh My Good Lady Gaga!

Holy. Guacamole. Seems i created a bit of a shitstorm and i didnt even realise. ( As an aside, this post will contain swearing so if you're adverse to that kind of thing, avert your eyes now ).

See, almost 12 months ago i wrote a post entitled " 7 Reasons Why I Hate Lady Gaga ". August 11th of 2009 i wrote this post and, today, i had reason to check back on it ( prompoted by a question posed by Kylie at A Study In Contradictions ) and...... there are 146 comments on that post. 146 FREAKING COMMENTS. I know some people found the post by Googling " i hate lady gaga " but i'm thinking someone must have linked to my post somewhere because the most recent comment was only made on July 15th of this year so - what the hell? So I decided i was going to sit and read these comments and boy oh boy did my little post cause a ruckus.

I imagine this is the look the Lady would shoot me from atop her throne after my last Gaga post...

The majority of the 146 comments are from rabid Gaga fans, baying for my blood. ( ok, not quite, but after reading some of those comments i'm suprised i didnt score any death threats ). I got called, in no particular order: a fat whore, a jealous bitch,a stupid retard, a cunt and, amusingly, a tranny ass. None of which has actually hurt me because i understand that these people are only trying to defend a woman that they fanatically love. However, i would like to give a very special shoutout to Anonymous, who was brave enough to post this in reply to my original post:

Get toxic shock syndrome and die you stupid cunt. You're ridiculous, you feign intelligence, and apparently you have something against teacups -- hopefully your uncle molested you during one of your tea parties as a kid. You're a moron.

Thank you Anonymous, well said. If i only i were intelligent as you quite obviously are, perhaps i would understand the utter brilliance of Ms Gaga. and would never have had the gall to express my quite offensive opinion in the first place. I would also like to thank those commenters who agreed with me, and understood that freedom of speech allows me to say i dislike someone ( especially when one of the primary reasons is because she carried around a teacup. Which she's stopped doing. Thank Gawd. )

So, i'm hoping that this post draws out another 140-odd comments. If you are a Lady Gaga fan please note that everything in this post and the original was intended as tongue-in-cheek. I dont " hate " Lady Gaga - sure, she annoys me for the aforementioned reasons, but truth be told " Telephone " is quite the catchy song. Oh, and before any of you tell me to get a life, or stop hiding behind my computer screen, i implore you to stop and think that you are taking the time to bite back at me ( thus taking up moments of your life, same as i have ) and you will be doing it from behind your own computer screen. That being said, try and remember not to take everything so seriously - some of us don't, and my regular readers certainly understood the " humour " behind my original post ( for further evidence of said humour, please scroll down the page and check out my campaign against jeggings... ).

Viva la Gaga!

Is It Just Me .....

.... or is Kanye West a total douche bag ? Hell, is Kanye West one of the biggest douche bags of all time? Its not enough that the man wears shutter shades* or that he throws tantrums when he himself misses out on an award, but now he goes and makes a ruckus when someone else loses out. Which is fine - as long as you dont do it onstage after hijacking the microphone, denying the actual winner her moment. Blog about, have a whinge on Twitter - but for God's sake, dont steal the limelight from a mild mannered teenage girl.

I am, of course referring to the ugly incident with the aforementioned Kanye and poor little Taylor Swift.

The douche in action.

Now, i know some of you arent that enamoured with Taylor Swift ( i, however, am a fan ) but even if you arent all that in love with her music, you have to pay her dues. She worked hard, she filmed a video clip, and she was deemed to have won. Taylor should be allowed to have her moment. Like she said, it was her first Moonman - that should be a special moment in any young singer-songwriters life. ( NOTE: I am yet to win a Moonman. DOUBLE NOTE: I am also not a singer-songwriter ). So i can understand how she ( supposedly ) went backstage and cried her poor little eyes out. Some dickhead rushed the stage, stole her microphone, and stole her moment. Biatch!

Thank God Beyonce has some class - despite what her video clip attire would suggest - and gave Taylor some time to shine.

The only question i am now left to ponder - who's the bigger idiot ? Kanye West or Lady Gaga ?

The 7 Things I Hate About Lady Gaga

Alright, yes - so i paraphrased the title of a Miley Cyrus song. But Miley Cyrus for all her tweensy cuteness and fake drama is sooooo much more tolerable ( to me ) than stupid Lady Gaga. Sometimes you dislike a singer or a band or an actor and you dont really know why - you just cant put your finger on it. Yea - well i can. Here, in a rough order, are the 7 reasons why i really just dont like the artist known as " Lady Gaga ":

7. She thinks her persona and her music are completely original. Innovative. Unable to be put into any one genre. Bah! The controversial outifts and styling ? This lady named Madonna - i dont know, you might have heard of her - did all that first. And as for the music .... lets just say the first time i heard " Papparazzi " on teh radio i thought it was Gwen Stefani. And now that i've said that, you can al totally picture Gwen ( or Katy Perry, or a desperate Kylie Minogue ) singing any one of Lady's songs.
6. She calls herself " Lady Gaga ". We all know she has a real name, and sure there are plenty of other famous people with stage names - but who is so pretentious as to name themselves " Lady " anything ? It could denote aristocracy or it could allude to her feminine manners .... although i dont think someone who constantly appears in public wearing only a leotard has a claim to either of those. In fact, i like to refer to her as Lady Gag - as in thats what she makes me do. Gag.
5. She carries a tea cup. And why does she carry the tea cup ? Is it to carry on the pretention mentioned in the previous bullet point ? No - apparently she did it to make the tea cup famous and thus prove the ridiculousness of fame. All it proved to me is that Lady Gaga herself s ridiculous. And lame.
4. Also, she refers to her tea cup as a " she ". Its bad enough that she carried one around, but she also refers to an inanimate object as a particular gender. I wonder if it has a name, and whether she's afraid of revealing it in case the tea cup becomes more famous than her. What would its name be - Lady Bone China ?
3. She went through a phase of having " cupids bow " lips painted on. Listen, your not Louise Brooks. And your not a Japanese geisha ( although i'm sure i've just given her an idea for her next video clip ). So i just want to tell you getting around in that stupid hat with her stupid painted on lips and carrying your stupid tea cup is.... Stupid.
2. The line " I wanna take a ride on your disco stick ". Seriously ? I dont think i really need to elaborate on this one.

And the number one thing i hate about Lady Gaga ?
1. She doesnt wear pants. We all know how i feel about leggings as pants. But Ms Gaga doesnt even bother with the leggings - its no pants day, every day, at Gaga's house. She constantly photographed in either a leotard or a bustier.... and shoes. Carrying a tea cup. But wearing no pants. Therefore, i cannot even contemplate seeing eye to eye with her.

People who insist on pants-less-ness are my enemies.....

*NOTE* I refuse to post a picture of the pants-less-ness. No. Freaking. Way.