Dear Me in 2013

Dear Me,

Just writing to remind you what your goals are for the year. I'd call them resolutions but I really do like the word ' goal ' better - it makes me feel like its something I can work towards, whereas 'resolution' feels to me like something that must be done straight away. Probably not how the dictionary defines them, but hey, its how I roll.  Anyhoodle, as in years passed, you have two goals:

The Conceptual Goal - ' to focus on being better, not on being perfect '. You know what I'm referring too - towards the end of 2012 you got a little too caught up in needing to be then' perfect ' wife, the ' perfect ' mother, doing things 'perfectly ' or not doing them at all. It got you down a little, yea? We both know perfection is unattainable, right? Right. So this year we you are going to focus on getting better at certain things, and working towards being great.... But knowing you'll never be perfect and that's just fine. So instead of crying because your house doesn't look like the cover of Real Living, focus on the fact that you've managed to fold that basket of washing, pick up the toys in the lounge room and cook a tasty dinner without neglecting either of your children.

The Physical Goal - ' to qualify for a decently sized home loan '. You already have a duplex, Mick already has a loan on a house that isn't even his in BumFuck Junction. Because of both of these mortgages and business loans the amount we could borrow for a new home isn't overly generous. But there are a few things you can do in the next 6 months that can change that - don't let your husband chicken out of them or, if he does, put on your big girls panties and take charge yourself. You know what I'm talking about. I'm not saying the goal is even to buy a house this year ( though that would be nice ) just simply to qualify for the money, and start looking.

Good luck with both of those awesome sauce!
Your fabulous self!

* I have decreed this ' Letters Week '. Every post this week will be a hypothetical letter - today to myself. Tune in then rest of the week to find out who else gets one!

I Solemnly Swear: New Years Resolutions 2011

Ooh, my first post for 2011 - how exciting! Except not really, because its one of the obligatory " New Years Resolution " posts that every blogger worth their salt is doing. Mine probably wont be all that much different, but what the hell ? Read on anyway!

#1 - The Conceptual Goal - that is, the thing that i would like to work on whose success and/or failure can not really be physically measured. ( You still with me ? ) Last time i went with the whole abstract, emotional, personal goal thing was 2009, a year in which i promised myself i would say " yes " more often than " no ", thus opening myself up to opportunities i would normally have missed out on. And what did that get me ? A gorgeous fiance, and a crazy, cheeky, spunky baby boy. So the whole conceptual thing kind of worked out for me. So whats the brief for this year? To honestly speak my mind, instead of hoarding emotional crap until i explode in a sudden, and fierce, inferno of rage/jealousy/melancholy. So there you have it - this coming year i will actively try and let others know how i'm feeling, when i'm feeling it, instead of trying to hold my tongue in a vain attempt to keep everybody happy ( everybody except me that is ). I have learned the hard way over the year just gone that no matter how much you hold in, no matter how you want to keep the peace, that sometimes its just not worth it ( and some people will never be happy, regardless of what you do, so you may aswell just get the truth out there from the start ).

#2 - The Physical Goal - that is, as opposed to the conceptual, the thing i would like to work on that whose succes and/or failure, can be seen, felt and measured. Like... wait for it.... weight loss! Oh yea, me and a bazillion other people around the globe, all jumping up on the weight loss bandwagon. As you know, i'm already on that particularly slow thrill ride, but my resolution is : To stay on the path to weight loss, to accept that it may be a long, slow journey, and to hit my pre-pregnancy weight of 67 kilo before November 5th. Which, for those of you cant remember, or do not know, is the date of my wedding. So that gives me roughly 10 months to lose 8 kilos-ish. Thats an achievable goal, right ? I think going into the second hase of Operation Slimdown back in September i was under the impression that the whole weight loss game would be a bit easier. What i forgot is that i'd had a baby and had nowhere near as much time i'd previously had to dedicate to exercise. Now, i think i realise its going to be a little more slow going, and that if i just persevere i will make my goal and be gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawjus on my wedding day!

2010: A Dreamworld Year In Review

Woowee - what a year! My first as a mama and as an engaged woman, its had its share of ups and downs. And what better what to put everything in perspective, in its place ( and the crappy things to rest! ) than with my annual wrap up of the year! Oh, and reminder - anything that is my " best " of the year is my favourite; anything that is " worst " is utterly crappy in my humble opinion. Agree or disagree, but dont argue the technicalities in the comments, ok?

BEST FILMS:
1. Sherlock Holmes - ok, technically this come out in the last week of 2009 but i was stuck in hospital with a newborn and didnt watch it til 2010, so it makes the list. Also, it features Robert Downey Jnr and i think its the general consensus that he is one of the coolest dudes in the universe.
2. Eat.Pray.Love - bah to anyone who's laughing at this choice! It was my favourite book of last year, so why would it be one of my favourite films this year? A little schmaltzy, sure, but its still appealed to my love of travel, of self-exploration and the romantic in me. Javier Bardem ? Delish!
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Pt1 -  i only saw this on Monday but i loved it and i cant wait til the last film comes out next year. And no, i still havent read any of the books, though i want to. I think i'm gonna wait til i see the last film ( so i dont spoil the film series for myself ... ) and then read all the books...
4. Precious - oh.my.God. If you have not seen this film, go rent it now. Its certainly no light, fluffy, rom-com and it had me in tears more than once, but you need to see it for the strength of the acting alone. Its hard, and its harrowing, and its probably altogether to real for some people, but its a film that will stick with you.
5. Hot Tub Time Machine - awesome! I loved this film - this was funny in the way i was expecting " The Hangover " to be ( but it wasnt it ). Totally crude and juvenile but an easy, hilarious way to spend the afternoon, without having to think too much or make too much effort. What a cack!
Notable mentions : " Beneath Hill 60 "; " Iron Man 2 "; " Shutter Island "; " Alice In Wonderland "

AND THE WORST?
I have to go with " Cop Out ". Not that it was an awful film, only that i didnt watch a lot of new films this year, and the stuff that i did watch was pretty good ( you know, because i had to be selective with my time ). So this gets my "worst " nomination because the average/ok film out of a really good bunch. Sorry Bruce Willis.
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BEST SONGS:
1. " Whatta Want From Me? " by Adam Lambert - i love me some good pop and i think Adam Lambert has been one of the great pop finds of 2010. And he has in own thing going on without verging into total weirdo territory (  i'm talking to you Lady Gaga ).
2. " All My Life " by Thirsty Merc - i loooooooooooove this song. Its on the list to be played at my wedding. Sometimes, when i'm alone, it even makes me cry. A great Aussie band producing great Aussie music ( and it doesnt hurt that they hail from my hometown ). A beautiful love song....awww!
3. " Teenage Dream " by Katy Perry - Katy Perry annoyed me for a while when she first came out but the more i listened, the more i realised she had some really well crafted pop songs. Like this one - its sweet, it makes me feel young ( which i am, but young as in " before baby " young ) and it sums up the way i feel about my relationship with Mick. Another for the wedding dancefloor playlist.
4. " Grenade " by Bruno Mars -  this one was only released in the past month-ish but it is really damn catchy, and i l.o.v.e his voice. I also love the sentiment and the harmonies in the chorus. Oh, and the video clip. And his hair is ace. That is all.
5. " Forget You " by Cee-lo Green - waaaaaaaaah, i love this song! Its funky and upbeat ( despite the subject matter ) and hot damn it makes me wanna dance!
Notable mentions : " Love the way you lie " by Eminem ft Rihanna; " If its love " by Train; " Need You Now " by Lady Antebellum

AND THE WORST? "Only Girl In the World " by Rihanna. Sorry, but RiRi has majorly grated on my nerves this year, and everytime i heard this song come on the radio i switched stations. Too repeative for my liking and her voice is beginning to annoy me aswell. Bah! Oh, and also, anything by Ke$ha... yuck!
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BEST BOOK -  " The Hour I First Believed " by Wally Lamb which i already blogged about here. It was just an awesome, awesome read and its really stuck with me. If your a big reader and you havent already read this, get your hands on this. In fact, do yourself a favour and read anything by Wally Lamb - the man is in my top 5 favourite authors.

BEST TV SHOW - Aside from my unwavering obsession with " The Amazing Race ", i've really felt myself fall in love with  " How I Met Your Mother " this year. I've always liked this show, but the second half of this year i started to not want to miss an episode and it dawned on me that HIMYM is like the new " Friends". Ensemble cast, really funny but still poignant, and everybody seems to love it. And they especially love Barney, and even though its a bit of a bastard. Legen....what for it!....dary!

PERSONAL HIGHLIGHT - anything involving my son learning a new skill. But seeing as there are too many to choose from there, i'll go with the Tim McGraw concert back in September...good times with Mick away from our baby, dancing til our feet hurt and staying out late!

PERSONAL LOWLIGHT - breaking up with my best friend. I've already talked about it enough so i wont go into anymore details, but suffice to say it sucks arse bigtime, even more so because i really had no say in it, and even now 4ish months later i'm still bitter, and confused, and hurt.

And thats it ladies and gentleman! Tune in tomorrow ( or whenever i get around to it ) for my New Years resolutions. Wishing you all a happy New Year and hoing everyone gets to celebrate in style ( even if that means stained-tshirt, at home with the kids, eating dip and crackers with a West Coast cooler kind of style! ) tonight - pool party at the neighbours for us!

2009: A Year in Review, Insomniatic Style

Alright, so now that i have caught up reading other peoples year in review posts, its my turn to post my best, worsts and favourites for the past year. I havent listed all the same categories as last year, and have thrown in a couple of new categories, so bearing in mind that when i say "best " i mean " My favourite " not the technical best; and when i say " worst " i mean " totally poo " . Also, all items are listed in no particular order.....

BEST FILMS:
1. " Inglourious Basterds " - whats not to love ? Its vintage wacky Tarantino, its good vs evil and Eli Roth ? Hella gorgeous.
2. " The Boy In Striped Pyjamas " - ok, yes, another Nazi themed film, but this one is rather more poignant than it is violent. I alternated between sadness and anger during this film, but the performance of both little boys was what made this film really special.
3. " Grand Torino " - Mr Gil and i saw this on our second date, so that alone makes it memorable, however it makes the list simply because its Clint Eastwood at his absolute best. Director, actor, composer - his touch is all over it.
4. " Wolverine " - anyone who is deriding me for this choice can go jump in a lake. I love me a superhero film and i love me some Hugh Jackman, so why wouldnt this film make my list ?
5. " The Proposal " - i dont normally rate 'chick flicks ' so high but this one was suprisingly enjoyable. Ryan Reynolds could just be my new favourite cute/funny/goofy dude....

AND THE WORST ?
" The Hangover " - i've chosen this as my worst film for the year not because it was bad necessarily .... but because it was disappointing. So many people told me it was the new " The 40 Year Old Virgin "; that it was hilariously funny; the funniest movie they'd seen in years. And then Mr Gil and i watched it last week ( so it only just makes 2009 ... ) and it was just - meh. To be quite honest, I didnt see what all the fuss was about.
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BEST SONGS:
1. " Breakeven " by The Script - a soulful, sad, sexy pop song by some cute Irish lads. It got played to death on radio over here, but rather than grate on my nerves, i just liked it more and more.
2. " The Fixer " by Pearl Jam - yea, yea, yea! This has been my sing-along-song for the past few months ( not that i know all the words.... ). Its the one that comes on the car radio, i turn up the volume and rock out at the traffic lights. Every list needs one of these songs, and Eddie Vedder and the boys get that honor this year.
3. " Last Day On Earth " by Kate Miller-Hiedke - this is an exquisite, melancholy love song. It initially came to my attention because it was attached to an episode of my favourite soap ( hello, " Neighbours"! ) but then it gained radio airplay and i totally fell in love with it.
4. " Like It Loud " by Cassie Davis - another Australian artist, this time with a perfectly crafted party song. Not that i've done much partying this year, but this was my favourite song to get my happy face going....
5. " Burn Your Name " by Powderfinger - this is officially my song of the summer, and reminds me of both my fiance and now my beautiful son. It doesnt hurt that its by one of my favourite bands either.

AND THE WORST ?
" Pokerface " by Lady Gaga tied with " Down " by Jay Shawn - it is no secret that i just cant stand Lady Gaga, so its no suprise i'm going to choose one of her songs to be my least favourite of the year. " Pokerface " happens to be the one that annoys me the most ( pa-pa-pa-pa-pokerface! Pa-pa-pa-please! ). Tied for this incredible honor is " Down " - pretty much because its just been totally overplayed and its a weak Backstreet Boys impression to begin with ( seriously, check out the clip. Someone totally wants to be in a boy band ).
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BEST BOOK:
" Eat.Pray.Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert - ok, so i'm a little late jumping on this particular bandwagon - you know, seeing as Oprah had been praising the book in 2008 - but this was just a really great book. It might seem kind of hippy-dippy or hokey-spiritual to some, but when i was 8 months pregnant it was an inspiration ( woman divorces; falls into depression; decides to take a year off and visit Italy, India and Indonesia; ultimately finds redemption and happiness ). It was - is - nice to think that if we want something bad enough and strive to reach for it, we can have happiness, for ourselves and others.

FAVOURITE TV SHOW:
" The Big Bang Theory " - this was on last years list, and its still my favourite. Seriously, Leonard and Penny are my new Ross and Rachel - and Sheldon is just in a league of his own.

BEST MOMENT FOR ME, PERSONALLY:
27.12.2009, the birth of my son - the proposal of marriage by Mr Gil was pretty damn sweet, and had my son arrived on his due date, the engagement would have made the top spot. However, seeing as Flynn decided to arrive 2 weeks early, making him a 2009 baby and not 2010 like he was supposed to be, meeting my little man and the making of our little family gets to be #1.

And that be it. Last year i included a list of best albums, but i had to leave them off this year because, sadly, i havent purchased too many actual albums this year. I have 3 or 4 that i've been meaning to buy but just havent got around to it, and now that i'm going to be home quite a bit with a sleeping baby i'll have ample opportunity to sit down and actually LISTEN to a whole cd at a time, so look out for a " best albums " list in my 2010 countdown....

A Belated - Happy New Year!

So a Happy New Year to all of you peoples out there. Hopefully you all found yourself in the company of good people in the countdown to 2009, and with a bit of luck hopefully you got to kiss at least one of those people. I got me a little New Years peck from an old school friend of my brothers which is not exactly what i had in mind, but hey - i'll take what i can get.

By far the highlight of my New Years was .... the birth of my neice! Welcome to the world little Isabella Grace. Yes, thats right regular blog followers, the impending new baby ( who was due on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day mind you.... ) finally arrived at 2:23am on New Years Day. Happy New Years to everyone in my family. And not only did she finally arrive, but she happened to be the first baby born in our region for 2009. How cool is that ? She gets to be in the local paper and, thus, will go down as part of local history. Bella is totally going to be famous when tomorrows addition comes out! Hopefully i'll be able to post a picture tomorrow, or at least give you a link to our local newspaper, if you want to check out my gorgeous new neice for yourself.

And now, for the part you've all been waiting for - or at least, the part you've been expecting: my resolutions. I've never been the type to sit and make a very specific list of what i want to achieve. I know some people think that putting your EXACT goals on paper and sticking them on your fridge/closet/bathroom mirror is a great way to self-motivate; I, however, am of the opinion that if you leave your goals as general as possible, you wont be disappointed if you couldnt do EXACTLY what you wanted, but you'll appreciate what you did do. Does that make sense ? For example, if you say " I want to save $5000 by the end of the year " and at the end of the year you only have $4500, you'd probably be a little letdown, wouldnt you ? But if you made your resolution " I'd like to save as much money as possible during the year " well, $4500 doesnt look so bad, does it ? So, in the spirit of leaving myself open to all possibilities and not tying myself to one specific thing, here are the three things i want to achieve during 2009:

1. I resolve to continue the gym and health routine I started in 2008. During the past year, I managed to not only start regularly going to the gym, but i kept it up. I've fallen off the wagon a little in the past two months, seeing as i've been a little under the weather, but i am pysched to get back into it. And, not only do i resolve to continue the gym going, but i also intend to push myself just that little bit harder when i can, instead of resting on my laurels.

2. I resolve to spend as much time as is possible with my neices. For the record, that would be H who is now 3, and the previously mentioned newborn Isabella. I like to think i'm a great aunty ( i was going to say good but you know what ? I'm actually GREAT ) already, but i know their have been times in the past year or so that i could have asked if H would like to do something with me, or times when we have been playing and i've given up the game just a little too early. I know she " loves my guts " - as she's just become fond of saying - and want little Bella to be the same way. I want to have the loving, nurturing , " My Aunty Amy is the bestest! " kind of relationship that i've never had with any of my aunts or uncles.

3. I resolve to say " yes " more often that I have done in the past. No, I havent been to see " Yes Man " with Jim Carrey. The truth is i've kind of come to this conclusion on my own - i've kind of missed out on a tonne of stuff because i said no. I said no because i didnt know anybody else who was going to be there; I said no because i was too tired or too lazy to make the effort to go; I said no because i was afraid how things would turn out in the end. Now i'm thinking even if things dont turn out all that fantastically, at least thats an experience right ? I've had a great 2 weeks over this holiday period because i've said " yes ", even when i would only know one person at birthday drinks, or two people out of 40 at a bbq - if i'd listened to the old me, i wouldnt have gone. And i wouldnt have rocked as hard as i did! I've made at least one new friend ( who may be a mother of 5 but she's pretty neat ) and a handful of acquaintances in only two weeks - imagine what i could do in a whole year of saying " yes " ?

And thats about it for now. I was thinking of doing a couple of " Best of " lists - say, my top 5 best movies of 2009, for example - but i've been too consumed by baby cuteness to think that much. Give me another week and i might have come up with them....