Taking It - And Leaving It

We're coming to the pointy end of the year where, aside from all the organisation and chaos of Christmas, we start to ponder what direction we'd like our lives to take in the New Year. What changes we need to make, what roads we need to follow, and what things need to be crossed off our lists. And this time around i'm thinking its not necessarily things that need to be crossed off my list, but people.

Sooooooooooo toxic...

Since " breaking up " with my best friend last year, i've had a lot of thinking to do on the subject of platonic relationships, on the types of people we need to surround us. And after the little mothers group Christmas party we attended yesterday, i've come to the realisation that as much as i wanted great friendships to develop for me within this particular group, they really havent ( aside from one - i'm so happy to have found a great friend for myself, and a great playmate for Flynn ). And i've also realised that if those friendships dont really exist, that if the relationship between myself and another person or people is even kind of toxic.... well, there is no point in continuing with it, is there? There is no point in keeping people around for their numbers, for being able to say " I have this many friends! ", if they arent the kind of friends that make you feel good about yourself, about your life, and your place in the world.

Without going into details, lets just say i felt totally gutted by the whole situation yesterday afternoon. We had our little do in the morning, at which i felt isolated, left out of the clique that seems to have sprung up between other mums , and frusturated that certain kinds behaviour is allowed from some children when i expect better of my own child ( yes, THAT old chestnut ). By mid afternoon i felt a huge knot of frusturation/anger/disappointment/resentment in the pit of my stomach and i hated that. I hated that i felt that way.

And then.... i realised i dont HAVE to feel like that. I can take myself out of the situations that constantly disappoint me, i can cut the interaction with those people down to the absolute bare minimum. I can enrich my life, not through the number of friendships i had hoped to gain, but by not subjecting myself to the toxic "friendships " that i ended up with. I can put my energy ( and my heart ) into the relationships i already have, i can i take the opportunities for new friendship when they come to me, instead of willing for them to happen in the wrong places, with the wrong people. And i can feel contented and enriched by what i do have, and use that to fuel further happiness in my life.

What about you? Do you feel the same compulsion as I did to say you've got a huge number of friends, or have you realised that its quality rather than quantity?

I've Been To The Summit - And Things Have Only Gone Up From There...

Another Blog This! challenge - Take us on a journey. Your journey. Something you've achieved, somewhere you've travelled, someone you've become. How has it challenged or changed you?

I've been to the summit, and things have only gone up from there.
Ok, not exactly " the " summit. Not even " a " summit. Just Summit - Summit, NJ. What i mean is that i once lived in a place called Summit, NJ, and since that time my life has only been on the up and up.

I lived in this house:

I looked after these children:

And i had friends like these:

And what did i find during my amazing one year stay ? I found me. Thats right - i had to journey to the otherside of the world, 14 hrs on a non-stop flight, and experience things outside my normal experiences to find who i really was. Really am, i suppose. I'm not going to go into details ( lets face it, there is  hell of a lot of detail invlved over the course of a year ) but suffice to say that by physically travelling - taking a physical journey and having the physical experiences - i really changed and developed on an emotional level.

I lived with a wonderful family with 3 beautiful boys, working as their nanny. I was on a foreign volunteer program, so i made fruends from all over the world - just in that photo up there we have people from the Dominican Republic, France, Colombia and the Czech Republic. I had to live and learn in a new culture, deal with things i hadnt dealt before ( you know, like living on the opposite side of the planet to EVERYONE i knew ... ) and it truely was a " sink or swim " situation.

But you know what ? I gotta say, i think i did ok. I lost the depression and found some confidence; gained a second family and lost some weight; made new friends and destroyed old bad habits. Everything changed for the better because i was brave enough to take a step outside my box and try something new.....

Inauguration Day

Happy Obama Day everyone! It is around 8am in the morning here right now and I have been watching Inauguration coverage for the last hour. I just want to say:

I am so proud.

No, i'm not American. Barack Obama is not my new President. But i am proud that Americans have effected such a positive change during my generation. As much as some of us hate to admit it, the rest of the world looks to America as an example of guidance, an example of the way things should be done.

What a way to do it.

My congratulations go out to the new President and First Lady Obama, and my thanks to the American public for the courage and wisdom to put such a charismatic ( and surely to prove great ) man into Office. Here's hoping that he can lead your country to new glories, whilst at the same time providing positive change for the rest of the world.