I'm So Excited....!

One more sleep, one more sleep....!

Ok, I'm a little bit excited - because tomorrow i get to go for my 18-20week morphology scan. The fact that i get to see Little Jelly wiggling, and kicking and possibly sucking their thumb or waving is exciting enough, but the possibility of finding out the gender is really whats got me impatient.

God help me if i have one like Bart....

With Flynn, Mick was pretty adamant that he wanted to find out the sex but i was a bit iffy - maybe i wanted a suprise? Maybe knowing would make things easier? But a suprise would be fun, right? You know that back-and-forth kind of agonising that you get with big decisions. Even waiting at the radiologists, bladder completely full and trying desperately not to pee, i still hadnt made up my mind. But, as soon as we were in with the sonographer and she asked " Would you like to know the sex? " i was the first one to blurt out " Yes! ". It kind of suprised me how easy the " yes " slipped out, and i know it suprised Mick.

This time around though we are both definately on the same page - we're busting to find out! I'm hoping bubby wont be too shy and will happily flash its bits to all and sundry at the ultrasound tomorrow. At the 12 week scan Little Jelly kept his/her legs crossed tightly enough that the sonographer couldnt get a good pic of the leg bones, so i'm hoping his/her inhibitions have disappeared since then! I'll be honest and say that my gut feeling, definately for the last few weeks anyway, is that its a girl but i'll be a happy mama no matter what we get.

What about you other ladies? Of those who already have kids, did you find out the gender ahead of time? And those yet to have bubbas, which side of the fence do you think you'd be on - find out or not?

Trust Yourself - Suprise

( By Ashley Ambirge ) Think of a time when you didn’t think you were capable of doing something, but then surprised yourself. How will you surprise yourself this week?

Image from here

Let me say this - suffering through depression and social anxiety disorder, i constantly suprised myself with things i had  to do in order to get better. Simple everyday things, like striking up a conversation with a stranger or eating lunch by myself in a public place ... things i said ( to my counsellor or psychiatrist ) " I'll never to be able to do that! ".... i did them. So take those small things and multiple them by like a hundred and you get the biggest challenge you could throw at someone with social anxiety disorder : move to the other side of the world and live in a communty where you dont know anyone. Not a single soul.

A monumentally huge challenge in fact. But, even though i doubted myself a bazillion times, i was determined that this was one challenge i was going to make it through. And, in the end, not only was i suprised that i stuck it out but i was also suprised at how easy it seemed to be. Moving to the US to live with and work for a family i had never meant was daunting, but i was amazed at how quickly i felt accepted as one of them. I thought i'd be lucky to make one friend while i was there, but by the end of my year i was the " go to girl " for new au pairs coming in to the community, the one who was asked to take them out for dinner and show them around. I thought i might struggle with suburban/city living ( having come from a rural background ) but i took to NJ and New York City like a duck to water. All those things were once on my " No way Jose! " list but, in the end, the ease with which i accomplished them suprised not only me, but others too.

So what will i do to suprise myself this week? I think it may revolve around some training i have to do for work on Wednesday... i could either:
a) suprise myself by NOT getting cranky at management i'll have to deal with or
b) suprise myself by telling them to take theur job and shove it.
Option a) is definately going to be the better option for me right now, so lets just hope i dont get annoyed enough to run my mouth!