Friday, October 17, 2008

" So how was it ? " - " Umm, yea, it was alright ".

So, I had a date last night with a guy i met through, and that was my reaction to it. It wasn’t that it was entirely terrible, it just wasn’t great. It wasn’t one of those dates where you’re really excited that the night is almost over because you anticipate getting a goodnight kiss; it wasn’t even one of those dates that you get home and you go “ I had a really good time – i hope he calls! “ This was more like “ Oh, it was nice, he was nice, just the whole thing was a little – meh”. And i hate to say it, because my date – lets call him Average Joe – really does seem like a nice, well intentioned kind of guy. Just not the nice, well intentioned kind of guy that i am into.

We had been sending each other emails for about two weeks and decided it seemed like the right time to meet up, so we organised a movie. Joe lives in a town about an hour and half away, so he drove in for the night. We had been joking before about his deep and abiding love for milkshakes, so i figured before the movie we’d take a stroll down to my local ice creamery where he could pick a good, old fashioned milkshake. He offered to buy something and when i declined, saying i didn’t want anything, he ordered me a large Slushy anyway. “ Thats what you were angling for, right ? “ Whats up with that? So by saying no, thank you, i’m not thirsty right now I am somehow subliminally asking for a large Slushy? We watched “ Eagle Eye “ – a film I had been looking forward to – and i discovered Joe likes to talk during the movies. I mean, call me fussy, tell me i’m being a little anal, but talking during a film is a big no-no with me. We followed up the film with a drink or two at my favourite local pub. The conversation was mostly good, but i had alternating moments of interest and boredom. There were things he said that made sense, and a handful of things that just rang “ Incompatible! “ bells in my head. For example, he was asking me about my family and asked if we are close. I said sure, we’re close on my mothers side, everyone usually comes home for Christmas, i love my toddler aged cousins etc etc; he says he doesn’t enjoy big family gatherings and cant see a big family Christmas being something he would be into. Yes, you’re right, only a minor detail now, but if a relationship were to progress wouldn’t family big a big issue ? Methinks so.

So I’m in two minds now. He has sent me a message today saying he had a great time, he would love to do it again – but i’m thinking if we were to do it again we’d only end up friends. There were no fireworks for me last night at all. I left thinking he was a nice guy, it was a decent way to pass the time, but that was it. No wondering about whether he would call or not; No running conversations back through my head to make sure i sounded intelligent; No scrutinising his behaviour to see if he was giving me “ signals “. If none of that is happening, i’m thinking he’s just not my type, however nice he might be.

To put it in terms men might be able to understand – as explained by the most awesome Andy – i’m thinking young Joe is about to fall into “ friend territory “.


  1. Oh it sucks there was no magic. It's so important. Better luck next time! If I was you, I wouldn't be calling him back, as nice as he is...

  2. Meh, I agree with you Aims. You must have some sort of chemistry going, or how else would you be able to keep things exciting?

    Friend folder, thats where he should be filed.

    You are far too special, beautiful and exciting to settle for anything less than what boils your veggies.

  3. Hey Amy, just another frog before you get to kiss your Prince, and live happily ever after. Ahh! Never mind. First impressions, or instincts whatever you wanna call them, are usually right. The drink thing would have annoyed me too. He didn't light your fire babes, but a new friend is not to be underestimated. Does he have some more exciting friends for you to meet? Good luck for the next time xxx

  4. Whoa, that slushy thing is weeeeeird! And I can't believe he drove in an hour and a half for your date! I feel like I get nervous enough about first dates without having to sit in a car for an hour and a half beforehand hahaha. I think I'd chew my nails straight through before I got there!

    Sorry it was kind of a bummer. I figure if a date's not going to be awesome, it should at least be HILARIOUSLY bad. Oh well.

  5. i'm in two minds, but probabl go for the friend card. there can't be too many of these as facebook says.

  6. First off, I'm sorry I'm only now getting to this post. I'm behind on life. But thanks for the shout-out. I am determined to introduce phrases about relationships to the mainstream.
    Anyway- he talked during the movie because he was nervous and because he wanted to make an impression, an impression that is hard to make when you're silent, so he overcompensated. He bought you a Slushy because he wanted to show that he is willing to take the extra step and willing to do something nice for you, even if that was actually the wrong thing to do. He told you about his family preference because he wanted to show he was being honest and upfront about what he likes, and because he thinks that girls want to hear a guy talk about his family.

    I met Capricorn on Match, just so you know.