Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I Do What ?!?

I am a blanket hog.

Yes, thats right ladies and gentleman, I have been made aware that i am, in fact, a blanket hog. I am one of these people who steals the sheets in the middle of the night and leaves their bed mate shivering in the cold. In the inevitable rock and rolling of sleep, i somehow manage to pull all the bedclothes onto my side and leave my partner naked bar their pyjamas ( if, indeed, they are wearing any ). I'm a douche - right ?

Yep, Mr Gil lovingly informed me one morning this weekend that i had contributed to his chances of catching pnuemonia by hogging all the blankets on the bed we were sharing and leaving him lying their freezing. I was horrified and, rightfully so, apologetic -i'd had no idea i do that! Have i always done it? Why hasnt anyone ever told me before ?Admittedly, i do love to be all snuggly when i sleep in colder weather, but since when am i blanky-selfish?

Mr Gil said it was fine because being curled up against me was keeping him warm enough ( my bountiful booty must produce a lot of heat during the night that i'm not aware of... ) but i still felt terrible. No-one likes a blanket hog - or at least i dont. However, i suppose we cant be held fully responsible for the things we do when we're asleep. At least i'm not up trashing the house in a sleepwalking trance, or snoring loud enough to wake the nighbours ( right? Im not doing that am i ? ). Those things would be worse. At least Mr Gil can steal the blankets back if he yanks them hard enough - you cant wake a sleep walker for fear of them injuring themselves, and sometimes the only respite from a snorer is to squeeze their nostrils together, stopping their breathing ( risk of death anyone ? ).

So, my apologies to Mr Gil, and my apologies to any other man i've ever shared a bed with.
I know not what i do....


  1. I'm the blanket hog in my relationship. I fixed this, though, by sleeping above the sheet (but below the comforter), so that Capricorn and I aren't pulling on the sheets the same way.
    It evens out, though. She likes to gradually scoot over until I'm clinging to the side of the bed.