Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Just Call Me Slummy Mummy

I’m suffering from mummy guilt. Or maybe I should make that housewife guilt, because its not exactly the mothering side that I’m feeling guilty about, but rather the taking-care-of-housework side. That is, I kind of feel like some things are getting away from me and that makes me feel like I’m not doing the best job I can.

See there is cleaning washing piling up all around me – some that needs folding, some that I’ve already folded and just haven’t put away yet; dirty washing to be done sitting in the laundry; I haven’t vacuumed the floors in well over a fortnight and I think my wonderful post-baby hair fall is causing my bathroom tiles to resemble a shag carpet. Even as I take 10 minutes or so to sit here and blog, I know I could be using this time to put away the clean dishes ( that Mick washed last night ) or fold some of that piled up washing ( most of which Mick washed on the weekend ). I also know that all those parenting and mummy magazines say that the dishes can wait – whats most important is me and my baby – but I cant help but feel that bad that my house does not look like my mothers house, or at least the way I remember my mums housing looking when I was a kid.

Granted, my mum also let the clean washing pile up ( so maybe that’s hereditary ) but as far as I can remember Mum always had the carpets vacuumed, the furniture dusted, the dishes washed,dried and put away and had everything ready so that when Dad got home he could cook the dinner ( yep, my Dad did most of the cooking. He’s just better at it then my mum ). I know my mum had the whole “ it’s a womans work “ thing ingrained in her brain by my grandma and believe me, I don’t want to be some kind of weird Stepford wife, living only to please her husband. But I feel like Mick deserves a nicer, neater house than what I keep it, and I feel like I’m letting him down in someway. He says I’m not and, besides, I make him awesome muffins… but still, I just feel like I could do better.

So tell me other mums – and not-mums who manage to keep everything in order: how do you do it ? And, if like me, your in slummy-mummy territory, how do you feel about it?


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  2. My clean laundry gets piled up in the laundry room for weeks. I feel like I'm always behind on the dishes. My floor is lucky if it gets vacuumed twice a week. I rarely have time to make a bed or pick up toys...You know what though? It's all OK. My kids are happy and I'm not missing out on anything with them. So the dishes get a little behind and the laundry is a little unfolded, at least I didn't miss Claire's being a ballerina in my kitchen or Grayson finding his ear or Ethan's story of how he really did laugh milk out of his nose at milk break. Those are the moments that are worth it.

  3. Bah, there are more important things in life- like blogging ;)

  4. My guilt comes from not studying... as for housework well I know it will eventually get done when I get an attack of the "everything must be clean" bug. I don't feel to much domestic pressure as of yet because we are not married.

  5. I'm not a Mom, but I'm certainly no good at keeping a clean house!! I'm writing a thesis right now and in times of hard work, my apartment has papers and books strewn about. Dishes do get piled up.

    Don't let yourself feel guilty!! You're still a new Mom, you also need time to relax. Life happens!

  6. Hi Amy,

    You sound more organised than me and my kids are 6 and 11. Don;t stress too much.

    Also I have given you a blog award here: http://whiningattheworld.blogspot.com/2010/03/honest-scrap-award.html

  7. Your house sounds exactly like mine and I had no guilty feelings...UNTIL NOW!

  8. Hi Amy,

    First up, you should totally pop on over to Sunnymummy.com.au or sunnymummy.blogspot.com There's no way you are a slummy mummy at all!

    You are doing a wonderful job of taking care of your little man and that, and taking care of yourself by having some down time is the most important thing.

    I'm a person who feels mentally cluttered when I have physical clutter around me and I have a rhythm now but that's only possible after your little person is in some kind of semi-predictable rhythm themselves. Most mornings I get up a tiny bit earlier than the Bebito does and shower and get chores done first thing in the morning leaving myself the rest of the day to enjoy him and some down time too. I write a to-do list for the day and just get on with it. I find that if I let myself think about what needs to be done too much I feel overwhelmed and nothing gets done. I also allow myself one totally chore-free-and-guilt-free day a week.

    You are doing a great job and who cares about piles of washing!?! Anyone who's offended by it can damn well help you fold it! :)


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  10. Don't beat yourself up about it, love. You're doing great. :)

  11. I'm a new mummy and will be on leave from work for 12 months.... this week (little one is 9 weeks old) I finally feel like I can start to do some housework, which I feel is my job (for) now. I'm not sure yet how to manage it with feeds and sleeps, playing and cuddling, but I'll give it a go! Wish me luck.