Thursday, June 7, 2012

Things I Realised Just Today

Do you know how there are something things that you know, somewhere in the back of your head, kind of all vague and greyish, and then all of a sudden they just dawn on you ? Thats happened to me twice today. Those funny little moments of realisation where you take a mental step back and go " Really? No, seriously.... really ? "

1. The word " elaborate " as in " to elaborate on something " and the word " elaborate " as in " the room was very elaborate " are spelt the same way, but prounounced differently, and mean vaguely different things? Dont ask me i thought about that but let me tell you ... spin out!

2. My counsellor asked me how many more weeks i have left at work. When i replied that i only have 8 weeks left ( or 25 working days! ) it dawned on me that in 8 weeks i'll be stopping work because i'll be expecting a baby not long there after.

Of course i've been following along and counting weeks and everything like that but it just kind of hit me full force that in a bit less than 12 weeks ( or hopefully less ) i will be holding a new bubba in my arms, welcoming new life into our home and accepting full responsibility for that little life for the rest of mine. If the scans are correct and i do welcome a baby girl, i'll be gifted the reponsibility of raising a strong, self assured, ethical, smart, capable daughter into womanhood. I'll have to  give her the strength to see through nasty bitchy bullshit, to ignore societies ideas of what is and isnt beautiful, and the confidence to see there will be plenty more fish in the sea. God knows there is no way i can ever shield her from those things, and nor would i want to - i want my daughter to be a girl, and then a woman, of grace and confidence, to know who she is and who she can be, even when she isnt quite sure of the whys or the hows.

So much to take on board, to ponder and plan, in the next 12 weeks. Or less. Heaven help this child should she decide to appear late!

1 comment:

  1. So exciting! Can't wait to meet the little one through blogland! It's such a daunting thing when you realise that you'll be responsible for this little life.

    I know how you feel abut raising a girl. I must admit I was terrified when I found out I was having a girl, hoping that she had Dave's personality type rather than mine, and knowing that I won't be able to spare her the horrible teenage years with horrible teenage girls, hoping against hope that she doesn't go through the hell I had to in high school with the bullying and depression, body image and weight issues and just plain mean girls. I just hope that I can teach her well enough and instil in her enough confidence to get get through it and come out the other end hopefully a well-adjusted young lady who believes in herself and loves herself as much as I love her.