Whats on again ? The great " Amy Makeover " mission. See, at some point during this past year i had grand plans for getting back into my fitness routine, and being one of those girls that has her hair done every month and lord knows what else, and they kinda fell by the wayside a bit. Dont get me wrong - i havent supremely porked up or ignored my hair until it resembles a bunch of non-intended dreadlocks, just that i feel like i need to do some thing along those lines to fill in some odd void i have happening right now. Like taking daily walks and doing half an hour of yoga is going to make me a whole person. Does that sound vaguely ridiculous ?
I know Sheena is saying yes ( watch out woman, i can read your mind ) but to tell you the truth, i think it could go a long way in filling that space. When i was working in the States i went to the gym for an hour a day, at least five days a week. Sitting on a stationary bike, or doing God knows how many tricep dips, or bending my way into Pigeon pose somehow centred me - it was total " me " time and gave me a greater appreciation for what my body could do. Hell, not even just my body - it was my willpower and strength of character that kept me pushing up that imaginary hill , or doing one more set when it felt like my arms were going to detach from their sockets. And there just isnt anything in my life right now thats making me feel that way. Sure, i'm three successful exams way from gaining a technical qualification, but successfully completing an academic course doesnt make me feel the same. I mean, i did that successfully for 18 years of primary and high school education. Sure, i'm proud, but academia is something that always came easy to me. I dont want something thats necessarily going to come easily for me - i want something that i'm going to have to push and strive and fight for, which all sounds rather melodramatic now that i think about it.
Maybe whats missing in my life is drama and adventure and tomfoolery. Tomfoolery - thats such a stupid word. But i digress. Maybe whats missing is some reckless abandon that the Zodiac says i should possess and is just waiting to burst forth. Maybe i need to step it up another notch. Readers of my previous blog will know that my social persona, for lack of a better description, has gone ahead in leaps and bounds of the course of the past 10 months: i've gone from being the girl who went out every weekend but didnt really indulge, just hung with the same one or two people and kind of wanted more, but was just way too shy to try for it, to being the girl who lets people draw smiley faces on her back in permanent marker and lets drunk rugby players lick her face ( hey, as long as he bought me another wine ) and chats to random 18 year olds because their friends told me that they think i'm hot ( damn straight! ). The turn around in my self-confidence has been enormous. So what i'm saying is maybe i need to step it up a notch and be more impromptu - i wana be the one who rings their friends on a Friday night and says " What you doing tomorrow ? We can be in a pub in another state by dinner! " , or who calls everyone and anyone around for a bbq that lasts well into the next day.
Dont ask me how all that relates to wanting to get back into yoga, i only know that the physical and the fun are somehow forever inextricably linked in my mind.....
How did I disappear from my life?
1 month ago