Friday, March 9, 2012

Big Brother: Part 1

One thing i have been pondering over with this pregnancy so far ( aside from names, birth options, scans etc ) is how Flynn is going to go as a big brother. There is no doubt in my mind that we will have an initial period where he turns completely feral and refuses to co-operate. Hell, if he' anything like i was as an eldest child he'll probably have at least one attempt at killing his new sibling ( I'm joking - pushing your new brother off his change table isnt enough to kill them. Believe me, i tried! ). I'm hoping though that the transition from " only child " to " big brother " is relatively smooth.

Can you imagine this truck driving little grub as a big brother?

Flynn is so gorgeous with other people babies. Even though he's still a little shorty, he bends down to talk to babies and talks in this cute little baby voice. He asks if he can give them a cuddle or " pat " them, and when he does he strokes their little heads so gently it makes me smile. For such a rough monkey of a boy, he's incredibly sweet and gentle with people smaller than himself. ( This gentleness, however, does not yet extend to pregnant mothers. He's still happy to climb all over me ). It almost makes me proud that he's so aware of how to behave around babies, and especially proud of how protective he is towards them. Of course i know that it will be a bit different when the baby is living in his house, stealing away his mums attention, but i still have this inkling that the inherent gentleness and protectiveness will be there.

We've already explained to him what it means to be the big brother. It means he has to help us look after the baby, to give it lots of cuddles and kisses to keep it safe; it means he gets to move on to more " big boy " things and he can pass his baby stuff on to his new brother/sister; and it means he has to show the baby how to be a good boy or girl. Though i'm not expecting smooth sailing right from the outset, i have no doubt Flynn will be able to do all that. He may be a total dude, but he's a pretty caring little fellow when it comes down to it.

So at this point, with 15-ish weeks down and 24-ish weeks to go, i'm just going to keep on talking about babies and families and changes with Flynn, and hope that when push comes to shove its actually more of a cuddle than anything else.
What about you - for those who have more than one child, how did your eldest cope with becoming a sibling?


  1. Do you know, we expected the worst from Ollie and he completely surprised us, he was fantastic with Flynn and has been ever since. Any problems we had, we had before Flynn was born and were age appropriate and not to do with his little brother.

    So I guess my advice is expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised. This time around Im not sure how Flynn will go sharing his daddy....

  2. Aw, bless. Your description of how cute Flynn is with other babies actually made me tear up.

  3. I laughed when you tried to kill your brother...
    We use to call Roo The Smiling Assassin.
    She pulled both boys off the change table, smothered Oscar, tried to feed them her Sultana Bran Buds numerous times and tucked them in a little bit too tightly, including their heads, quite a few times.
    To be honest, I have more trouble with her now than I did when the twins first came home - mind you she was only 18 months then.
    Now, I have created a monster because she feels she is the "boss" of her "BUVVERS" because I've allowed her to be such a little mother hen!
    Flynn sounds like he is lovely with babies! If he's fine with others, he will be fine with his new sibling!
    He might just be a bit more rough than he would.
    I think the best way to get him used to the idea is to ask him to help with jobs "for the baby" now and when the baby arrives. I have a friend who used to make it her two year old's job to take the dirty nappies (in nappy sacks) to the bin, and apparently just giving her ownership and responsibility where the babies were concerned was enough to stop the "woe is me, I am not the only child anymore" tantrums!
    Whew, sorry for the novel!

  4. I was expecting Mr 4 (who was Mr 2 year 9 months at the time) to be a nightmare. He loves to be the centre of attention so I thought he would be hard work with a new baby. But he was actually great (and still is a great big brother).

    While I was pregnant, I bought him a "baby" & we practised looking after the baby. We looked at the 3D ultrasound photos & talked about his baby brother. I have other friends who read books with their kids about welcoming a new baby, which seems like a good idea, but we didn't get around to it ;)