Friday, February 8, 2013

Its Happening Again

My little Facebook mothers group, that I previously wrote about here, is beginning to falling apart and, though I've never actually met any of the other mums in real life, I'm a little upset by it. Some women are choosing to leave the group because they are busy with children and work and life and that's fine, though they will be missed; but its the few that have chosen to leave on the last day or two because of behavioural issues or disagreements that vexes me.

The same thing happened in my real life mothers group - once the babies got older and we started to know each other a little better, little pockets of friends formed within the larger group. Or cliques, if you will. That in itself is fine. Its when those cliques start to feel they are better than others, or exclude others, or talk about others behind their backs for amusement that they become a problem. And it always happens on large groups of women.

Why can't we women just bloody get along and support each other? Why can't we know that yes, we can have our friends but we don't have to be horrible or arrogant or careless towards the women they don't count within their inner circle? I know we all do it - yes, I'm guilty of having gossiped from time to time - but we don't have to be malicious about it.

Sometimes I long so desperately to have a big group of girlfriends, the way I used to do in high school and early adulthood. I get lonely and wish that I had a handful more friends, or even one great one ( other than my wonderful sister ) to be close with. And then I remember that my amazing circle of girlfriends from high school started to breakdown when someone outside that circle accused me of gossip ( which wasn't true ), and I remember that making new friends as an adult woman is pretty difficult.

And that, well, it just makes me sad....


  1. Us women can be real bitches, so unfortunately you are going to have these situations all the time.

    I just hope that when I eventually have a baby, that my friends are in the same boat and I wont have to rely on a mothers group :(

    Good luck with them, hopefully they can see how very highschool they are acting and behave like adults.

  2. This has just happened in my mg in the last 6 months, its not malicious or nasty but the divide is there nonetheless and really after 5 years, I can't believe it happened now. But as the kids have become older they play better with others and thus the factions. I makes me anxious for my Ol, he just wants to be liked and to have friends too, he is a great kid and it hurts to see him beig left out. It is hard to make friends as adults, and I think also we are slightly more choosy, not wanting to let our guard down in case getting hurt etc. it's really really rough, I wish I had the answers.