Off My Plate

You know that expression - to have something " off your plate "? As in, " Glad thats off my plate! " Yea, welll, i'm starting to think i might have too much on my plate for the next few weeks and some of it is making me anxious. Dont get me wrong, some of it is going to be way cool heaps fun, but some of it is just bogging me down mentally.

* I've still got to get around to actually organising my sons first birthday party - which means actually decided on a guest list ( to invite his little mothers group friends or not ? ), what time of day is appropriate ( i'm thinking to start around 11am and run through til 12:30pm ) and what i'm going to feed the guests (and where i'm going to find the funds to pay for food ).

* Finish the Christmas shopping - this one isnt too bad because i have one more toy layby to get out ( thank you Target! ) and then i only need to get " Santa " presents for Flynn and buy a little something for Mick. Its more the " where am i going to find the money for it all ? " bit thats doing my head in a little. I'm trying not to worry, and its not like we're sending ourselves broke or anything, it justs that i really want to make our first Christmas as a family special and a little extra disposable cash would come in so handy right now ( i know - join the club right ? )

* The collapse of my "best " friendship - i know i've already written about it, and i know your probably tired of me harping on about it but.... i just cant get past it. I'm still so angry - i've never been the angry girl before ( i've been the sad girl, and the tired girl but not the angry one ) and right now i'm trying just to sit in the anger, to take it in, let it out and to let myself have that moment and be done with it. But the more i try to just " let it be " the angrier i get. I just feel so cheated and lied to and resentful. I've never been resentful before, and i dont like it. Its the resentment thats tearing me up. This is one i REALLY want off my plate, and soon...

And the rest? The rest is the way cool heaps fun stuff - birthday parties, Christmas parties, a day at the zoo, Santa photos with my awesome photographer friend, visits to the park, " Save The Date " cards, cooking and Mario Kart marathons. Stuff to keep me busy. Stuff to keep me smiling, and to keep me sane. I just gotta get some of that other crap off my plate first!

Are your teeth still sick ?

I really, really, hate throwing up. I have no idea how bulimics do it - i hate the spasms, the sore throat and the lingering feeling of nausea. Lets face it, throwing up is just not pleasant. Neither is knowing that the three kinds of medications you're on are the cause of the nausea, so in order to keep yourself free of bacteria and infection and whatever else, you have to walk around in a constant state of feeling sea-sick.

Oh, yea - guess who i'm talking about ?

But i'm back to work tomorrow. I'm not particularly looking forward to it - because i dont particularly fancy sitting at my desk with my stomach in a knot - especially seeing as i have to go in early for a conference call. During which everyone will ask how i'm feeling and i'll have to grit my teeth and go " Yea, i'm doing fine ", rather than admit i'd prefer to be at home asleep. The doctor did give me a week off, so technically i dont have to be going back, but i kind of feel bad leaving J a little in the lurch. Plus, its J's birthday tomorrow and i have her present in my handbag - i dont want to have poor J working on her lonesome on her birthday. How depressing!

Speaking of birthdays, it was my adorable little neices birthday today. She turned the big number 3 ( or " I'm this many " as she'd say, holding up three fingers.... ) and she got one of the best presents any child could ask for - a trampoline! She's really excited now that she has her own. We have one here at " Poppy's " house, but now she has one in her own backyard she can bounce away to her little hearts content. She was also impressed with the cute little shirt dress i bought her, and the cd player one of her other aunties bought ( " Its for moozik! Mum, its a moozik thing! " ). Kudos to my sister-in-law for the cute little cupcakes she made.

And now, on to tomorrow. Or at least, on with the show of trying to keep my stomach from turning inside out....

Burfday weekend rundown

So that, right there , is my beautiful sister Erin. Doesnt she look cute? The angle of the eyeborws looks slightly wicked, but thats how she is really. So, just in case any of you have been living under a rock, or reading my posts without actually understanding them, this past Friday was Erin's 18th birthday. I am slightly sad to say that the weekend was a bit of a bust for me, but very happy to say she partied hard and loved it all ( after all, her birthday is about HER, not me ). Let me explain:
I'd taken the day off work on Friday so that we could hang out - i thought it might be nice to share the whole day with her, plus the idea of a day off for any reason was appealing. So while she was having a facial and a massage i hit the gym, and then we met back at home so we could go out for lunch. Not just any lunch mind you, but " $10 Tradie Lunch ", the best invention in the world. Basically one of the local pub bistro's offer a choice of meal, plus a drink, for only $10. I had the best chicken carbonara EVER - seriously - and enjoyed the company of my mother, my sister and her best friend.

Next on the agenda ? Tattoo time! Now we all know that i have four tattoos ( you knew that, right ? ) but i think i started a trend in my family. Since i got my first one, my father and brother have both been inked, and now it was Erins turn. She had to wait, legally, until she turned 18 to get tattooed but, in a stroke of genius, she decided to ask my parents if she get a tattoo as a birthday present - that way she wouldnt have to pay for it. And they agreed - well done little Erin! So my father and I went with her, less for moral support and more so we could witness the looks of mild pain and agitation on her face as the job was being done. Does that make us nasty ? No, just family. The tattooist Paul is a sweet guy though so he was always enquiring whether she was doing okay, did she want to stop for a break, stretch her legs, things like that, so he didnt make to easy for us to get inside her head. Incidentally, in a brief taste of D-list fame, Paul holds the world record for the longest tattooing session ever ( 42 hours people ).... take that " Miami Ink" !

So after lunch, the tattoo session and the traditional gathering for birthday cake ( caramel mud cake... uh, yum.... ), the immediate family went out for dinner. Witness below the astonishing beauty that was us ( ahem... yea, right ):








So thats her and, uh, me posing for a happy snap before the dinner arrived. For the record, my garlic chicken and prawns was lovely, thank you for asking. The place we went for dinner is a balcony resturant above my favourite pub, so it has a great atmosphere and made it really easy to move on after dinner. My heavily pregnant sister-in-law, neice and my flu-ey father went home after we'd eaten, and myself, my mum, brother and little Erin headed downstairs. Friday nights are always a little bit of a bust - i'm glad she wasnt completely geared up for a huge night, because Fridays tend to be a little quiet and the problem with eating out before hitting the pub is that there is usally a period between the end of the meal and the point in the night where other people start turning up. That period is the one that gets you - you get bored waiting for some action to arrive, and if your a birthday girl who woke up really early and has been running around all day you start to get a little tired too. So we had a few quiet drinks and decided to head home around 10pm. Kind of an early time to be calling it an evening, but my brother had to work in the morning, my mum is NOT a party animal,and the birthday girl was happy to have been able to get a few drinks in with her nearest and dearets. Aww, bless.

Which leads me to Saturday:

Nevermind the fact that I look completely washed out in that photo ( if you could get closer I had really sweet gold eyeshadow and black liner... it was cute! ) but, for me, the night was a bit of a washout. I was really looking forward to it - my best friend P ( thats her in the dots ) was going to be home, it was going to be my sisters first big night out and my first big night out for 6 months. And for a while, it was great: P and I had a great dinner together and then joined my sister and some friends at the pub. We started having some drinks and got to dancing - god, how i missed pub dancing! - and it was all going great. And then code name Mary showed up. I cant believe i let her ruin my night. One minute i'm dancing a way, not a care in the world and the next there she is, shotting me the death stare.

Once i knew she was there, she was EVERYWHERE. Turns out she was one of Erins friends cousins, so after having a short toilet break, P and I returned to the dancefloor to find Mary dancing with our group. That was it - i could not be there and have her either giving me the evil eye or, alternatively, completely ignoring me and making me feel uncomfortable in my own group. Once P decided she was going to go, I couldnt stay on my own, even though my sister was there living it up. I gave her amy apologies and told her if Mary was going to be hanging around, i couldnt.My sister, in her 18 year old wisdom, loudly announced she'd throw a drink in Mary's face, her tell her to piss off, because its not fair that i should be made to feel that way. Knowing that if she did try any of that, the situation would only be worse, I made my exit.

I'm really cut at myself for letting her ruin my night. I'd been excited about celebrating with my sister for weeks and, on the actual night, i skulked home before midnight. All because some girl with apparent issues has some cold of emotional hold over me. My sister showed me all her photos in the morning, and excitedly told me about how the rest of the night went, and she had such a great time. It only made me feel worse for having missed out. So apparently i'm going to have to suck it up, and learn to ignore Mary - its just hard because i'm very non-confrontational, and i always feel that if i'm in " her " way too long, she's going to go off her nut again. My only other option is to pack up and move to some place she doesnt live. Poo to that, and poo to her!

And so endeth the burfday weekend adventures. Overall, i know my sister had a great weekend and thats all matters. Plus, my hair looked h-o-t on Friday and i had sexy shoes last night - beat that Mary!

24.10.08

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERIN JAYNE!!!

Okay, so in case you havent been following my blog, today is my little sisters 18th birthday. Happy burfday to her! We kind of have a full day ahead of us ( i have taken the day off work so we could hang out ) : we're almost ready to go to lunch, then she has an appointment at the tattoo parlour to have her first tatoo done, after that people will be turning up for birthday cake and then the whole immediaqte family is going out for birthday dinner. Ooh, plus, seeing as 18 is the legal drinking age in Australia, tonight will be her first real taste of Aussie pub culture - yay for that!

So she and I are going out tonight and tomorrow night aswell. Its been a while since i've been out both nights of the weekend so i'm expecting to feel, i dont know, like a 100 years old come Sunday afternoon. Everyone look forward to my posts after that....

Average Joes, wearing chocolate and super boys

Right, so i've decided to give Joe one more chance. This may be against the general consensus - according to the comments on my last post, all of you guys think its a lost cause and both my father and sister are in agreeance that he sounds like a total knob, but you never know, right ?I've agreed to go out with him again, if only to see if that elusive spark suddenly appears or to confirm my suspicions that he falls into friend territory. However, I have told him i will be busy for the next two weekends so he wont be seeing me before then. See, its my sisters 18th birthday this coming weekend and then my brothers 23rd the following, so i kind of have a good excuse to sit and mull over how to let Joe down gently if that spark doesnt appear.

In other news, like i said, my sisters birthday is now only 3 days and 4 sleeps away. Yes, she is about to turn 18 years of age and she is still counting down in the number of " sleeps ". Bless her little cotton socks... anyhoo, i bought the cutest black gladiator style heels to wear on Saturday night. Again, no picture for you yet but you can be sure i'll sneak a few pics of my tootsies at some point. I'm thinking after going out Friday AND Saturday nights, i'm going to have plenty pictures to choose from. Old school, drunk-at-the-pub, uploaded-to-Facebook style pictures. Look out!

Also, my neice insists that she will be wearing " chocolate " my sisters birthday dinner. What the? yes, when i asked her what she was going to wear, and i told her it had to be something nice, she replied, " Umm... chocolate! ". Well, yes, chcoolate IS nice, i just dont think its appropriate night time attire for a 3 year old. A 23 year old maybe ( especially if he has dark hair, and those goregous V hip muscle things..... ) but for a 3 year old, not so much.....

Oh, one last thing - i just want you all to know, in case you didnt already, that the boys on " Supernatural " are the prettiest boys on tv.

Oh lord, now i'm starting to count down....

I cant believe its almost the 8th day of the month and i've only made one post. What in the crap is up with that ? What have i been doing ? Truth be told, not s very much, but hey, it was a long weekend. I was content to sleep in, eat a late lunch, and watch bad cable tv. I introduced my father to " Date My Mom " and " Room Raiders " on MTV - i secretly think he liked them ( i'm sure i caught him watching that horrid soap " Passions " once ..... ).

So, now that the long weekend is over the next thing on my calendar that i'm looking forward to is my sisters 18th birthday in 17 days time. For those of you who dont know, 18 is the legal drinking age here in Australia so its the birthday where you get to go to a bar for the first time and get trashed with your friends and your older sister. Umm, i mean, you get taken out and shown how to drink responsibly. Of course thats what i mean. So everyone in our immediate family plus my best friend P is taking my sister out for dinner and then we're moving downstairs to the bar. I kind of like that my sister invited P, and i know P appreciates it to, seeing as she doesnt have a sister of her own. And, o0f course, my sister has friends of her own but she's going out with them the night after her birthday. She's chosen to go out with her family first ? Aint that sweet?

Anyhoo, i'm not sure why exactly i'm so looking forward to someone else's birthday. It is probably mostly because i havent been out since P's hens party ( the night of the Mary incident ). I mean, i went from going out every Saturday night, leaving the house at around 10:30am and getting home around 3am, to not going out at all for an entire 6 months. Its been a big jump and, to be honest, i've missed it sometimes. I've missed Mary's sisters ( lets call her MS ) friendship, for sure, but i've also just missed the atmosphere of a crowded bar, dj playing, people dancing, escaping the hot dance floor for some fresh outside. I wasnt like a disco diva or anything, i just liked being around so many people, even if i hardly knew any of them. I've missed sitting in MS's bedroom drinking a bottle of cheap champagne before we went out, gossiping and laughing our arses off. I've missed that.

So, come the evening of October 24th i'm going to put on a slinky dress, some cute heels, do my makeup all pretty like and i'm taking my sister out - for the photographic evidence please refer back here after that date, or find yourself my Facebook page....

An Early Weekend By The Numbers

46 - number of candles on my mum's birthday cake on Friday night. Well, not really - thats too much weight for one cake to take! - but thats how old she was turning. Perhaps i should have made it " 46 - number of years old my mama is " ? Happy burfday anyways Mum!

6 - size of the cute new braided leather thongs i bought ( thats flip-flops for you Americans ). Yes, i have small feet.

1 - number of promises i broke. You remember that promise i made in my depressive rant ? No eating bad stuff/no spending money/no forgoing the gym ? Broken.

110 - approximate numbers of dollars spent on myself whilst breaking that promise. I figured seeing as i got my tax cheque back and my bond from the rental house i've moved out of i could afford to undulge a little.

4 - number of dvds bought in that little indulgence. I got " The Day After Tomorrow ", " Dreamgirls ", " Lords of Dogtown " and " Dogma". Seriously, i know Kevin Smith has made a few mis-steps the past few years ( hello " Jersey Girl " .... ) but " Dogma " is some seriously funny shit.

7 - approximate number of hours spent watching video music channels on tv over the course of the weekend. Since my parents have gotten " pay TV " installed, i think we've all become slightly addicted to the music channels. Including the country music channel - yes, you read that right, i like country music. Garth ? Reba ? Tim McGraw? Awesome. Variety is the spice of life people.

3 - number of video clips my mum cried over. Seriously, i get teary in romantic movies or real-life dramas ( say, like " The Notebook " or " Hotel Rwanda " ), and I'll admit to crying almost everytime i see the film clip for " Hurt " by Johnny Cash but my mum ? She tears up over those toilet paper adds that feature little boys and puppy dogs.

0 - number of dates i was asked on. Isnt that suprising....