Tuesday, August 17, 2010

To Boob Or Not To Boob?

That is the question. See, i think the days of sharing boobies with my beautiful, hungry bubba are coming to an end. Flynn just isnt showing much interest in boobies anymore ( unless you count the lingerie sale ad that played every ad break for like a week - his head snapped to attention every time that ad came on. Typical male ). Thats right - we're weaning here in the New Adventures household, and i think i have mixed feelings about it.
He's already got the perfect Vegemite eating technique downpat...

We started our mushy, messy adventure into solids around 3 months ago so breastfeeds have been steadily decreasing for a while. From birth, my boy had been a big lover of the boob - it was 2 hourly feeds during the day, and one or two at night, depending on whether he woke or not. That was equivalent to around 10 a day. I was firmly in dairy cow territory - it felt like a baby was permanently stuck to my breast and i was never, ever, ever going to be able to get him off or be able to go anywhere alone, ever again. Now? My little boy is having 3 meals of solids a day and usually 3-4 milk feeds. Only two of which ( on a good day ) are breastfeeds. After 6 weeks or so of trying, I've finally managed to get Flynn to take a bottle. A bottle you say? But i thought you were so pro-breastfeeding Amy? Well yes, i am, but the need to return to work ( and i mean need - if my bank account weren't hovering so close to a zero balance i would love to stay home... ) means i can't breastfeed during the day, and the decline in breastfeeding means i cant express enough booby juice - so its a formula bottle feed, twice a day at the very least. Happily, my community health nurse informs that he is now old enough to start drinking cows milk, so i dont have to buy expensive formula anymore!

So - i'm not sure how i feel about this whole weaning thing. I wanted him to start taking a bottle, needed him to do it so we didnt have any difficulties when we started daycare, but i didnt think he'd so easily drop his prior enthusiasm for booby-time. On one hand i love, love, love that it means i can have a little independence back - that i can have a morning sleep-in now that he doesnt need a breastfeed upon waking; that i could leave him with his Grandma and Poppy so i can have a haircut/eyebrow wax/go to the movies, without having to worry that my 2 hours of freedom before the next breastfeed is almost up; that i can spend the day at home with him without feeling like his own personal milk machine.
On the other hand, i'm going to miss the intimacy of breastfeeding. I love being able to look down at his fat little hand resting on my booby, his chubby little belly snuggled into me, and wondering at what Mick and I have created. I've found that i'm trying to keep that closeness while he has a bottle - i lean down and kiss his head, or stroke his arm or tickle his feet. I'm going to relish my freedom no doubt, but i'm going to mourn for that close breastfeeding bond.

So we're pretty much down to one, long, proper breastfeed a day - which happens to be in the middle of the night. When Flynn starts sleeping through again ( which i'm praying for ) that feed will be gone too. My baby is growing up! So how about you guys  ladies? How did you feel when your bubbas left the booby?

5 comments:

  1. We are done to 1-2 feeds here now as well. One before his sleep after lunch then again at bedtime. When we wakes during the night, he has a bottle of cows milk.

    If you're not quite ready to wean full stop, you can always keep up with the bedtime feed for example. It doesn't have to be all or nothing, and your body will continue to make milk for as long as the demand is there. Just a thought there for you sweets!

    Very mixed feelings when it comes to weaning isn't it? Excitement at this new sense of freedom you have but grief as you realise your breastfeeding relationship is coming to an end.

    Good luck to you and Flynn xx

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  2. I guess it that last attachment to babyhood that really makes you realise how much they have grown. I'm still breastfeeding my 20month old and I don't see that happening soon. He's a last bubs so I'm cherishing every last baby moment.

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  3. I've been feeling like I'm ready to wean from the breast myself. Start pumping and start giving Grayson sippy cups of breast milk. I'm scared of the biting (and oh, he bites hard!). I'm determined to make it to breastfeeding him to the age of 1. I'm scared to just pump and hand him a cup though. He snuggles so close to me when he eats, and looking at his little sleepy face...It makes me sad to think about weaning.

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  4. Breastfeeding for me was hard, I had very little supply after about 6 weeks, I made myself sick trying to keep it up because I so badly wished to feed, O was nearly hospitalised and F cried solidly for 2 weeks. Formula for me was necessary, but both times when my boys were put on a bottle I realised it was actually better than I expected, and I loved being able to get my body and my life back just a little bit. Good luck with weaning, I hope its not too traumatic for you. x

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  5. Oh I so identify with the intimacy thing. My kids are both in elementary school so it's been awhile. But, I do remember feeling so sad when that chapter closed. Good luck~

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