(Late) Friday Flip Offs

Its been a long time since i've done a " Friday Flip Offs "-  a list of things that have irked me over the past week - but after the week i've had this week i'm feeling the need to get a few well earned flip offs of my chest!

* To the last 3 unfinished clues in my otherwise perfect crossword puzzle - you annoy me. Why must you star eup at me from the otherwise well finished page? I probably wont sleep now because i'll be racking my brain to think of the answers.... FLIP OFF!

* To the lack of affordable maternity wear in this town - i do not have bucket loads of money to spend on clothes i will only wear for a few months. Why isnt there more on offer at the two leading department stores here ( a shout out to you Big W and Target ). I have found a few things i like and have just bought a size or two bigger than normal, but then this brings up the problem of approriate length to fit over my ever-expanding bump. Either get some more nice stuff for pregnant ladies - in more colours than just black, white and grey! - or.... FLIP OFF!

* To my beautiful son, whom i love very much, but who is very heavy - Mummy loves you, and i know you've been feeling a bit yucky this week... but i just cant have you sitting on my lap for hours at a time anymore. You're getting too heavy to sit on top of me, on top of my bump and after 6 days of it my hips/pelvis/stomach are absolutely killing me. I've cried a few times because its hurt so much. I love you baby but could you possibly either a) snuggle with Daddy for a while, b) learn to snuggle next to me instead of on top of me or c).... FLIP OFF!

* To the firm of electricians who charged me way too much - its not fair to take advantage of me because i wanted the work done quickly, and because your a bigger firm and thus have more people to pay. All i wanted was 2 powerpoints and a tv point installed and now i find out you charged me 3 times as much as another local electrican could have done it for. If i hadnt been so desperate to get a powerpoint in Flynns new room so he can put a heater in there i definately would have told you to.... FLIP OFF!

Waddle, Waddle, Waddle, Yeah!

Oh yes, you better believe it - at 24 weeks pregant I am well and truely getting my pregnant lady waddle on. I dont feel like my bump is overly huge yet but for some reason i find myself with a much sorer back and achier hips than when i was pregnant with Flynn... the combined effect of which is a nice little duck-like waddle.

Truth be told this is kind of a rant post. I dont mind waddling so much - its pretty much inevitable with pregnancy and actually helps other people to realise i'm not just getting chunky, i'm actually cooking a small human being in there. No, its the back ache that is really getting me down. I dont remember having an especially sore back until maybe the last few weeks of pregnancy the first time around. But this time? The burning, aching sensation up the right hand side of my back is enough to make me want to cry. Being right handed i of course do everything with my right hand and over-reaching/stretching with that arm is causing me to be in pain by the middle of the day. So far i've found that if i can lie down and rest on that side it feels better - but unless my employers let me install a daybed in the kitchen that isnt exactly an option at work.

So i guess the only thing this little pregnant duck can do is put up with it. Possibly with the help of some Panadol. Ooh - or i can possibly cross my fingers that Mick and Flynn get me a massage gift certificate for Mothers Day. Either way, i think the daily pain might be here to stay for roughly the next 100 days ( countdown til my due date is on! ) and i'll just have to live with it - although, as with all things pregnancy related, i reserve my right to have a whinge!

Mrs Ranty Pants

It may not be Monday but i've got my ranty-pants on today. Why? Because one of my colleagues is annoying me so much i'm trying desperately to control the urge to punch him in the head. Violent? Yea, maybe. A means to an end? Yep.

For the next two weeks i am working in my department by myself. Rather than this fill me with dread at being run entirely off my feet, i'm more worried about running out of things to do and spending my days fighting off boredom. You see, with our optometrist on leave, so are his patients - which leaves me with only paperwork and filing to catch up on. Not the most exciting of prospects, and the likely situation is that i will have finished playing catch ups this afternoon and be left with 4 more shifts and not very much to do.

So, knowing this, at 9am this morning, this particular colleague is over in my department, poking around, putting deliveries away. Ordinarily I might appreciate a bit of help, but in this circumstance he was being kind of unhelpful.

No worries though, it was only one thing. I thanked him and asked him to leave anything else for me to do. " Oh, dont you want me to come over here and give you a hand cleaning it out? " Umm... no, thanks, i can do it myself. It wont take that long. " Oh, but dont you need me to do some of your filing ? " Umm.... no thanks, i'm here by myself with no patients remember? " Yea, but how about i do some phone calls for you ? " Umm... seriously, no. I can do it by myself. ( Now get out of my department ).

So sure, that sounds pretty petty. And it is - but when its a person who is very rarely doing his own work, at his own desk, poking around your department playing 20 questions, its gets a bit much. As does his attitude to his own work when its there to be done - seeing that he was busy chit-chatting to someone ( and i mean chit-chatting, having a catch up, not actually doing business with them ) i answered his phone. I couldnt help with the callers query ( you know, seeing as its not my department ) and when i cleared my throat, did the whole " Umm, excuse me - this lady needs blahedy blah " you know what he says ? " I dont know. Cant help her " and turns back to his friend. How. Effing. Rude. Rude to me and rude to the caller. I had to jump back on the phone and tactfully explain that he wasnt sure of the answer and transfer her elsewhere.

When he finally finished his chat and his friend had left.... well copped an evil eye and a mouthful from me about how rude he was. I'm telling ya - he carries on like this for the rest of the fortnight he'll be headed for an early grave....

What We Have Here...

Ok - so i'm getting all ranty again this Monday ( is it just me or do MOST of my ranty posts happen on a Monday? Coincidence? Methinks not ). Aside from feeling like i've been hit by a truck - thanks to a lovely virus Flynn so thoughtfully passed on to me - i'm also feeling a bit stabby over a lack of communication these days. Or maybe its a lack of manners, or both. Which ever it is, its annoying me.


See i've been trying to organise a school reunion for my Yr 12 class, and it was supposed to be this Saturday night. 10 days ago i go into the place where we had organised to hold the function only to be told that they had double booked the room and because the other party had paid a deposit well... they got the room and we got bubkiss. Apparently whoever took the original booking wrote it up in one diary, but not in the other ( why they would have two diaries in the first place is beyond me... ) and when the other party asked to book our specific room, nobody checked the first book. What.A.Bloody.Shemozzle. All this left me in the awkward position of having to decide whether to try and find an alternate venue with only 2 weeks notice (before a long weekend ) or to just postpone the event.

I chose to postpone. To find an alternate venue at such short notice would have been nigh on impossible and, quite frankly, with my wedding only 6 weeks away i just didnt have the time. However - today i get a phone call from the events manager at the function venue asking whether the reunion was still right to go? Umm...no. What? She said she had been speaking to my co-organiser and that she had found room for us in a smaller function space. Which is all well and good - except that she, the events manager, was supposed to have called ME 10 days ago, not my co-organiser and that i hadnt heard a damn thing about this new arrangement from my co-organiser either. In fact, everytime i've needed her for something i havent been able to get a hold of her. Frusturation much?

So i'm now i'm really stuck - do i try and get the word out there over the next 5 days that the reunion is now back on or do i just stick with the postponement? As hard as it would be to get the word out to everyone in such a short a time i kind of think maybe thats the way to go - i know there are a few people coming from interstate who have tickets booked that they cant cancel, so they will be in town anyway, and also it will just get the whole damn mess off my plate and i can just forget about it. It will be super casual - i wont have time to organise and collect " ticket " money to pay for decorations or food, it would be more like a laid back catch up at the pub. But on the other hand what if not many people see it and the official renunion only attracts a dozen people out of the 80 i went to school with? And people that didnt check their Facebook this week dont know about it and feel ripped off that they missed out?

More importantly - how did i let myself get suckered in to organising something i really dont care about in the first place?

Miss Goody-Two-Shoes

I have a question - why is that when a young woman chooses not to do certain things, when she doesnt disgrace herself socially, and has a little class.... why does she get called a Goody-Two-Shoes?


First of all - where the hell did that turn of phrase even come from ( whats "two shoes " got do with anything? ). But secondly - why does a young girl/woman who lives a clean life get lumped with such a stupid and childish insult? And thirdly, now that i think about it, why is being a " good girl " such a bad thing?

Classy - very classy (image from here)

I just dont get it. I'm only 27 yrs old but maybe i'm turning into an old biddy before my time. I had my fun in my late teens and early 20's - the late nights, dodgy Sunday morning hangovers, the short(er) skirts that tempted inppropriate boys - but i was never like some of the girls i see going around now. Too many of them sadly. The dressing like a street corner hooker is bad enough, but what i really dont understand is the attitude toward alcohol for so many young women. I see Facebook statuses of friends, or friends of friends, spouting things like " TFIF! Time to get pissed! " or " Cant wait to get wasted! ".... why?Whats so good about it? Whats so awesome about drinking to the point where you pass out and cant remember a damn thing the next day?

I'll let you in on a secret - i dont smoke ( i've never even had so much as a drag on a cigarette ), i've never done any kind of illegal drug ( unless you count being able to smell pot being smoked in the beer garden at the pub ) and i dont drink. I'm not a hard line tee-totaller ( again with the phrases that dont mean anything... ) but when i say i dont drink i mean i'll have one or two cocktails 3 or 4 times a year. For example: so far this year i've had one drink when we went out for dinner at the end of April, one drink with a nice dinner i made for Mick and i and i intend on having some champa's at my wedding in November. Possibly a drink or two at my hens party and one on my sisters 21st in October.... thats it. And when i say " a drink or two " thats what i mean - one, maybe two if i'm in the mood. And when i mention the fact that i dont really drink i almost always get a sideways glance with this " Why not, you weirdo ? " look. Why is so strange that someone my age actively chooses to NOT drink/do drugs/smoke? Why is abstaining from substances that really dont benefit my body so odd?

Oh yea, because thats hell sexy ( image from here )

And just for the record, i dont think drinking is "wrong " ( smoking is on my list of " Stupid ", but drugs are definately wrong ) - its just that after those first few years of adulthood i've decided i really dont need alcohol. My body feels better without it, and a drink or two on the odd occasion is enough to " happy " me up.... i dont need to black out and spew every weekend to have fun. Nor do i drink a glass of red every night to "unwind " ( although, with a bisterous 18 mth old keeping me on my toes, i can understand how some of you do! ).

I apologise if this rant post is a bit preachy-preachy.... i just needed to vent my frusturation at the way womenhood seems to be headed. Which is down the toilet with last nights Vodka Cruisers and pizza spew...

Seriously - Let Me Welcome You To Reality

I'm going to apologise ahead of time - this one is a rant post. I dont rant too much around here, and though this actually needs to be said to a few people in my real life, i have promised another person IRL that i'll keep my lip zipped ( for now )... thus, i have to get this out here. See - i've had about enough of some pretentious arseholes in my social circle and i think they need to get some perspective.

Consider this my ranty face! ( from here )

There is one person who claims he has " no " money - yet he runs his own business and lives in a 5 bedroom house in a nice area of town. I dont know how he runs his business, or if it is doing well ( and, quite frankly, its none of my business ) but i'm a bit tired of claiming he's near broke and then having other people worse off then him cover costs for things that should be shared burdens. Here's the tip - if your as bad off as you say your are sell your big fancy house, buy something more modest, and pump the profit back into your business or use it to live off for a while. If you cant even contemplate doing that, well, you aren't as short of cash as you think you are...

Then there is the person who, because of ill advised and/or stupid investment choices years ago, is a bit hard up at the moment. This happens to lots of people, so i'm not judging him for the loss of investment monies. He and his family can't afford the rent in the Sydney market anymore so have moved in with his MIL to save some money. However - in the last 6 months he has taken his family on two overseas trips, goes on weekends away once a month, and has bought one new car only to find out a few weeks later that his wife is pregnant, so they bought another brand new car. I cant stand people who claim " poor " status and then continue to spend up big on luxuries. Be realistic and get your priorities straight - and if holidays and $40 000 cars ARE you priorities, dont expect any sympathy from me when your debts catch up with you.

And lastly, the one who is relatively financial stable but is obsessed with things to the point of ignoring people: dont invite me and my child and my family places and then spend 95% of the time texting on your IPhone and even looking at me. Its rude, and its annoying. It makes me want to punch you in the nose.

So there you go - that stuff gives me the shits. Mick and I are not well off, but neither are we flat broke. We get by most weeks, getting the mortgage paid and groceries bought and the other little bills out of the way and ending up with $20 or $30 left in the bank. The few times a year the rates/electricity/rego and car insurance come due we struggle... yet we complain far less than all 3 of the people mentioned above. I'm not looking for someone to say " Oh poor you ", i'm just trying to explain how living within your means is how you live with a little breathing space. If you cant afford the repayments on your 5 bedroom house, downsize; if your so broke you cant afford rent, dont buy brand new and expensive cars; and dont become so consumed by money and things that you lose touch with people ( and thus the human contact you claim to crave ).And, most importantly,dont cry poor to me when you know for a fact that i have much less than you - it reeks of pretention and, quite frankly, disrespect

Why Don't YOU Cover Up?

I know i've blogged about this before but i found an article today that had me so riled up i just had to make mention of it. Well, not so much  the article, but the storm of comments following it : should breastfeeding mothers have to cover up while feeding in public?

The majority of comments seemed to be supportive of women being able to breastfeed their babies whenever, wherever, and however they wanted to, or supportive of the right to feed but asking for discretion. But there were some comments that just made my blood boil. This one in particular -

Breast feeding
Posted by: no interest, perth, on 17/09/2010 10:34:16

Just because you have your offspring attached to your breast doesnt mean you can automatically get it out wherever you like and start feeding your litter. Most people have no interst in seeing such things, its just not called for in public. Have a bit of self respect and respect for those arround you and put it away or at least cover it up. While we are at it try putting a leash on the rest ofyour litter while in public and perhaps a muzzle as well, parent shouyld take control of their brood and stop them from running wild and screaming like animals, however I guess if the litter are to run wild then perhaps the parent can breast feed in public like the rest of the live stock.

 

Pardon my language but - what.a. fucking.cockhead. I just wanted to reach through the computer screen and punch this idiot in the throat. How insulting to mothers everywhere, regardless of whether they breastfeed in public or not. And believe it or not, this wasnt the only comment likening breastfeeding to nursing animals. One other person said mothers who breastfeed in public should be made to do so out in the paddock like the rest of the cows (!) and numerous people compared the natural act of breastfeeding to the natural act of defecation - and then said we arent allowed/it isnt polite to defecate in public view so why should it be any different for breastfeeding.

 

Attitudes like that make me absolutely sick and i was shocked that they even exist in todays society. Yes, i can appreciate that some people may not know where to look when faced with a breastfeeding mother ( my advice? If you're not sure, just look away ) but that doesnt mean women should be forced to feed their babies in dirty public toilets or be made to stay home with their babies because thats we're new mums and babies belong ( both of which were suggested by commentors on this article ). Nor do breastfeeding mothers feel they are untouchable and that they're rights come before everyone elses ( also a prevailing attitude in the comments section ) but rather want their babies to have the same freedom to eat when they are hungry that every other person has. Its as simple as that. Anyone who suggests otherwise, or that thinks breastfeeding mothers simply just want to get their boobs out in public and flash them to the world ( give me a friggin' break.. ) is out of touch, out of their minds and out of order...

Friday Flip Off Time

Like i said last week, i dont think anyone is hosting Friday Flip Offs anymore but i've enjoyed doing them so they are ( for now ) staying a permanent fixture on my blog. Its a light-hearted type of carthasis for me, so i only see fit to keep it going. On to this week:

To my state manager, The Bell - as i put it to my father today: i hate you, i hate your guts. I have no idea how you came to be in your position of relative power because you have zero people skills and only the barest of empathies for your employers. You have known since December of last year that i intended on returning to work in the first week of October. It is only now, 2 weeks before my intended return from maternity leave, that you have decided to throw a spanner in the works. It is so typical of you to operate this way - you've done it before - and, frankly, it shits me to tears. If it were a viable option ( which it isnt right now ) i'd quit and find myself another job.  And i may yet do that, in time - at which point you will be politely told to FLIP OFF!

To the half dozen people who have overtaken me in a school zone whilst speeding - you are idiots. The speed limit in a school zone in NSW is 40lm/h there fore it is not only illegal to round me up doing at least 70km/h ( dickhead... ) but stupid and dangerous aswell. I dont know whether you're in a big rush to get somewhere or you just think you wont get caught but whatever the reason, its not going to be good enough when you hit a little kid who is trying to get across the road to school. Grow up and stop speeding, you wankers - go FLIP OFF!

To the two women who have dismissed my idea of going to Tresillian - screw you both. I know one of you actually entertained the idea of going herself with her youngest child, so i dont know where your attitude is coming from. The second one just thinks she is damn Superwoman or something. She can take her idea of how to make a baby settle ( " just turn him on his side, leave the room and let him cry, doesnt matter if its for 3 or 4 hours " !!!! ) and shove it up her damn jumper. What kind of mother does that? I've tried controlled crying, and i'm not a big fan, but even that technique doesnt leave a baby alone to cry for hours on end. Neglectful much? So to both of you, with your ideas of what is a waste of time and what is not needed FLIP OFF!

Its Friday - Time For Flip Offs!

OK, i dont even know if Gigi from KludgyMom still has Friday Flip Offs still up and running, but i'm going to continue to do them because they were a nice, get-it-off-your-chest, end to the week. I missed it last week because i was on my deathbed ( ok, no, not quite ) but i'm back better than ever now!
To bronchitis - you suck. I somehow end up with you every bloody year and this year is, sadly, no exception. I managed to go the whole winter without having a cold bad enough to bring you on but in the last week of my least favourite season i caught Flynn chest infection and voila! you have made your annual appearance. I'm already sick of the big, barky, mucus-y cough you inflict me with, and it will probably be another week or two before you disappear. How bout you do me a favour and just FLIP OFF!

To the Catholic Church - in Australia, who have decided to ban popular music from funeral services. You killjoys - apparently, according to the almighty Church, a funeral is not a celebration of a persons life and the chance to farewell your loved one, but is intended to commend their soul to God. Which, according to their latest edict, is supposed to be strictly about Church pomp and circumstance and nothing else. They've even asked some people to exclude funny recollections and praise of a loved one from eulogies, and stick only to fact based speeches. As if i didnt hate the hypocrisy and arrogance of the Catholic Church already. So, to the Archbishop of Melbourne specifically who handed down these new rules - why dont you go take a flying leap and FLIP OFF!

To Allanah on " Four Weddings " - screw you and your idea of what a wedding should be. I cannot understand any normal person spending $80 000 on what is essentially only a few hours of their lives. I could buy one third of a house with that, or two brand new cars, and you spent that on cakes, and a dress and a fancy reception venue. What a bloody waste. Also, your comment about one of the other girls wedding dresses, that it looked like something you would buy off a bridal store rack...yea, that really got up my nose. 90% of women ( you know, in my estimation ) are going to buy a dress of the rack from a bridal boutique and there's will be just as special as the $8000 custom creation you were sporting ( which, thought pretty, was indistinguishable from the second hand dress you were hating on ). Just because you had the biggest, most expensive wedding does not make you the best. It just makes you pretentious, so take your fancy, fluffy dress and your bad attitude and FLIP OFF!

Friday Flip Offs Time

Time again for Friday Flip Offs, brought to you by Gigi over at KludgyMom. Seeing as i'm not feeling to good tonight, lets make this quick:

To whatever bug i happen to have right now - my stomach is aching and is tied up in knots. I have not appreciated having to run to the toilet umpteen bloody times today, on top of only having 2 hours sleep last night with a fussy baby-child. Also, the muscle pain in my back and legs is not doing me any favours. I have to take a 3 hour roadtrip out to my brother-in-laws tomorrow so if you could see fit to bugger right off overnight ( otherwise we'll need to stop at every dodgy rest stop in every small town on the way, which would make it more like a 4 hour road trip ... ) that would be great. Take your germy, bug-gy self and FLIP OFF!

To the blonde girl in front of me at Zumba -  you're lucky i didnt grab you by your ponytail and kick you up the arse. You werent a "young " girl so you should have known better but pointing and laughing at the lady with Downs Syndrome at the front of the class is so not cool. So what if she isnt totally co-ordinated or in time with the instructor? She's there, she's having fun and she's giving the whole Zumba thing a go, so i say good on her and spit on you for being so juvenile as to make fun of her with your friend. Grow the fork up, wipe that stupid grin off your face, do the class with a semblance of maturity or FLIP OFF!

To the weather - seriously, you could fine up a bit? Three weeks of constant rain and/or cold weather is dragging me down. I cant take Flynn out for a walk, i have to run my heater all day which is costing me big monies in electricity bills and i just want to be able to get some sun on my skin. Next week is the official start of spring so take the cue and get your sunshine on. Rain, cold, wind - FLIP OFF!

Friday Flip Offs - Again

Hello again reader people. Welcome to Friday, and therefore, Friday Flip Offs, brough to you by Gigi over at KludgyMom.

To teeth - you are just not nice. I'm not talking about to me ( i already have my teeth ) but to little Flynny. He's been teething again the last few weeks and you hadnt been too bad but today? My poor little fella had a fever, bright red puffy cheeks and went off his food. What he did eat got thrown up again. He's in bed asleep for the night now - or part of the night anyway - so you had better be nicer to him in the morning. Ideally, you should have broken through by morning or you can just FLIP OFF!

To my mattress -  i dont think i like you anymore. I used to love you - LOVE you. Being snuggled up in bed, either reading or asleep, was the best place to be on a rainy afternoon. But lately you've changed, and i'm tired of waking up with a sore back and/or sore hips. Its not cool, mattress, not cool. Tomorrow Mick are going to flip you over and hopefully that will work and you'll be my old, trusty, comfy mattress again. If you're still no good after the flip? Well you'll just have to FLIP OFF!

To the family day care carer that i called today - i rang regarding a place for Flynn to go when i got back to work. I gotta say, you didnt impress me. I didnt like your tone when you said " well, listen , i only work til 4pm " ( i need care til at least 5:15pm ) and then you said my son is going to have to conform to YOUR sleep routine? Yea, apparently babies with their only sleep routines aren't convenient to you, and he'll just have to learn to have one nap a day, starting at 12 noon, and he'll need to stay asleep for 2 hours. WTF? I thought part of the family day care philosophy was that you try and stick with the babies own routines as best you can and, aside from that, why would i risk screwing up the rest his routines annd night time sleep, just because you want to eat your lunch and do bookwork at the same time every day. Uninterrupted. Sounds to me like your in the wrong job. And, by the by, if you finish at 4pm you can do your bookwork when the kids go home. Because of our 5 minute phone call, i'm not even going to bother with a face to face interview. You're not the right carer for my son so you can just FLIP OFF!

Friday ( the 13th ) Flip Offs

Thank Gawd its Friday - and thank Gigi over at KludgyMom for Friday Flip Offs, that wonderful end to the week where we get to rid ourselves of all our frusturations and annoyances, just in time to enjoy the weekend!

To the cold that developed from last weeks sore throat - screw you man. I told you last week that i knew you were coming and i wasnt too impressed about it, yet you showed up anyway. Because of you i've been snuffling and sneezing and coughing all week and now Flynn is a little snotty-booger too. Oh, and we also had to miss swimming on Monday for the second week in a row. So not happy Cold. So not happy. Why don't you take your disgusting germy self and just FLIP OFF!

To the friend who sent me a text at 10:38pm last night - thanks for waking me up. Apparently you did not remember that i am the mother of a 7 and half month old that has decided it is now time to change sleep patterns and is now waking up 4 times a night - AGAIN - and that, thusly, i need to go to bed early. Also, you apparently thought i would want to see another photo of your arse. Umm, no. So not only did you manage to wake both me and Mick up but it wasnt even for anything important. And the worst part was i'd gone to bed at 9:30pm and had only just managed to get to sleep when you texted me - and then it took me another good 45 minutes to get back to sleep. So i didnt actually get to sleep til around midnight, Flynn woke briefly at 1:15am and then wanted a feed at 3:30am, and wanted to get up for the day at 5:30am. So whats that? About 5 hrs sleep? Which is more than some mums get but if it hadnt been for you, dear friend, and your fishnet clad arse ( thanks for the image by the way ... drinking before you went out, huh ? ) i could have had 6 hrs sleep. Take your stupid photo and your stupid late night text and FLIP OFF!

To the book i borrowed from the library on Wednesday - i managed to read your first 8 pages and then.....i decided you suck. Normally i'm willing to read at least the first chapter but not with you. See your cover appealed to me, and your blurb made you sound interesting, but in those first 8 pages you made so many references to various characters and concepts in your imagined mythology that i was put off by it. You get what i mean? If your going to be a fantasy story - you know, in the vein of, say , " Stardust " or " Harry Potter " you need to either ease your reader into the intricacies of your fantasy world, or write yourself a prologue that explains at least the basics. Just launching into King This, Prince That, this shadowy political entity, that ancient circle of magic blah blah blah.... its just off putting. So, i've put you down after 8 pages and its back to the library with you where you can FLIP OFF!

Frusturations out. Happy Friday the 13th people!

Excuse Me While I Rant A While....

What in the freaking hell is wrong with people?
I have come across two news articles in the last two days that have made my blood boil, and made me vigourously shake my head at the gall, insensitivity and stupidity of some people. I'd say " of some humans " but i dont think these examples ( at least in the first story ) can be classified as human.

Why do i say that? Earlier today i was reading the daily news on http://www.ninemsn.com.au/ and read about two small children having acid splashed in their faces. Their mother was just walking them through a carpark when two " youths " just tipped an acid-like liquid off the roof and onto the children, who are now in hospital being treated for chemical burns. Its thought that this was a completely random incident, rather than a deliberate attack... so what in the hell? What kind of person just decided one day " hey, maybe i'll throw acid on someone today ? " It would be wrong enough if it was a revenge attack or something like that, but to just randomly want to throw chemicals at someone? And small children no less? That families life is changed for the negative now. I would assume there will be countless medical procedures, treatments to be kept up at home, and physical deformities that will no doubt see them stared at in public and teased at school. And for what ? So some sadistic arseholes could get their jollies? And the bit that gets me the most is that you know the justic system in Australia will fail these people. If those " youths " happen to be minors they'll cop a year or two in the juvenile system ( at the most ) and then be allowed back into society. Its more likely though they'll get a slap on the wrist, some community service, and made promise not to do it again. It.Makes.Me.Sick.

And on to scum bucket #2 - this Canadian woman who faked cancer so that she could swindle people out of charity money. Thats right, a woman who figured an easy way to make cash and be given free holidays was to fake a serious illness and prey on the sympathies of other people. Cancer is yet to touch the lives of anyone in my immediate family ( thank goodness ) but its universally known that cancer is a horrible illness, that causes much pain and suffering, both to those who are burdened with the disease and their families. Yet somehow this woman thought nothing of shaving her head, plucking her eyebrows right off and losing weight so that she could " benefit " from cancer and the generous charity it would afford her. That a human being could live in this world and know as much about cancer as we do, and STILL scam people in this way is beyond my scope of understanding. She claims she did it not for the money but for the attention, to be noticed. For fucks sake lady, dye your freaking hair! Wear a mini skirt! Do a nudie run around your local mall! Falsifying cancer is a despicable thing to do.

So i guess my basic question is why ? What has happened in society that people are not only coming up with these disgusting ideas, but acting upon them ? And if these are lines people are willing to cross, where does it all stop?

Friday Flip Offs Time

Hello there readers and hello Friday! Time again to release this weeks annoyances into the cyber world and off of my chest ( thanks to Gigi over at KludgyMom ).

To international shipping - you suck. I had the brilliant idea that i could get myself some great summer clothes from the Gap and Old Navy while they were on sale ( you know, seeing as the northern hemisphere is coming into colder weather just in time for me to get my summer clothes ) and due to our awesome echange rate it would be cheaper than buying full price clothes here in Australia. And it was - until we factored in shipping. I had $80 worth of clothes in my basket - a bit for me, a bit for Flynny - and then bam! $64 shipping?! That international shipping flushed my whole idea down the toilet so now i cant have that cute pique polo shirt dress i had my eye on. Screw you international shipping charges. Either get cheaper or FLIP OFF!

To the person who delivers the catalogues in my neighbourhood - or, i should say, the person who USED to deliver the catalogues. I'm one of these people who actually likes getting junk mail and i havent received any for the last 2 weeks. I didnt get the BigW baby sale catalogue that i knew should have been coming and i got nothing this week either. How am i supposed to flip through those flimsy pages and dream about what i would buy if i had the money if you arent going to get those flimsy pages to me. What am i going to have to do - go online? Umm no .... i want my tangible, hold-in-your-hands, mark-the-pages type of catalogue. So get yourself together, get those catalogues folded and into my mailbox or FLIP OFF!

To the sore throat that has developed out of nowhere overnight - get.lost. Seriously, a sore throat is never just a sore throat, it always develops into something else and seeing as i'm breastfeeding and the pharmacists wont let me take any cold/flu medication, i do not need the " something else " you'll develop into. You following me? I don't need you, i don't need the cold and/or flu you will inevitably become and i most certainly don't need you passing yourself onto my fiance or my son. Especially my son - babies with sore throats do not make for good sleep. So take your itchy, scratchy, yucky tasting self and FLIP OFF!

Friday Flip Offs Time

Good Friday to you all, and welcome to Friday Flip Offs - the time of the week to get all my stresses out into the virtual world so i can enjoy my weekend. Proudly brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom.

To the rain - i know that we need you, that farmers you need you for their crops, that you need to fill up our dams so we have drink water blah, blah, blah... but i want a bit of sunshine. I want to take Flynn out for a walk and to let him play on a blanket on the grass. Its been raining and cold and dreary for 3 days now, and its forecast for at least another 2 days more. My Australian summer-time-girl heart just cant bear it much more. Take your grey clouds and FLIP OFF!

To the kids on " World Strictest Parents " - grow.the fork.up. Seriously. I watch this show ( you know, now that " Masterchef " is over ) mainly so i can marvel at how bad your behaviour is and so that i can yell at you via the tv. Maybe if your parents and had yelled at you a bit more, or disciplined you properly at some point, you wouldnt be such idiots. I kind of feel bad for your parents because they put up with you, but i kind of dont because clearly you are a monster of their own making. ( And yes, before anyone points it out, thats kind of judgemental. Probably also very much true in 95% of cases ). Get over yourselves and learn some respect or FLIP OFF!

To the rocky road slice i made on Tuesday - you aren't exactly a fail. I followed the recipe, you turned out fine, Mick loves you. However - I am not a fan of your biscuit base. I was so looking forward to a yummy, scrummy, marshmallowy, chocolatey, chewy slice to snack on over a few days and what i got was a marshmallowy, chocolately slice with a crunchy base. Crunchy - its just not my thing ( at least not with a rocky road topping ). Your whole crunchy biscuit thing killed it for me. I would much rather you with a brownie base. So, unless you can magically turn chewy in my fridge overnight, either disappear into Micks lunchbox or just FLIP OFF!

Thats it this week. All pretty trivial, which i suppose means i had a good week.... enjoy!

Friday Flip Offs

Happy Friday everyone! And what better way to celebrate the end of the working week ( well, for some of you ) than with another Friday Flip Offs, brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom...

To the old bird who cut me off at the roundabout - when there are two lanes marked, that means you need to stick to the lane your in. It doesnt mean you can take off from the outside lane and just veer into the inside lane, where i happen to be driving. Even if it did mean that you would still need to use your indicator. Which you didnt. Learn the road rules and try sticking to them or FLIP OFF!

To the fat that refuses to shift off my belly - yesterday i had a positive attitude toward you, today i dont. This may have something to do with the fact that you made my favourite pair of jeans too uncomfortable to wear today. I'm trying to get out there and walk and get rid of you but its not happening quick enough for my liking. Why dont you take the hint and just melt away? Come Monday, when i've convinced Mick to move our exercise bike from the freezing cold garage to the nice, warm, loungeroom you know what i'm going to say to you belly fat? FLIP OFF!

To those foreign sales guys trying to sell miracle cream at the mall - when i'm pushing a pram that contains a small grumpy child, does it look like i have time to stop and trying your fancy hand cream? Does it look like polishing my nails to a nice silky shine is my number one priority ? Just because you're cute and have a nice foreign accent does not mean i want to stop and chat to you, or that i'm going to be convinced into buying one of your incredibly expensive products. Do me a favour - next time i'm at the mall, and you see me coming, and you see me avert my eyes so that you cant catch my attention and stop me, dont step out in front of my pram. If you do i will either be forced to mow you down and crush you beneath my baby wheels or you'll be told to FLIP OFF!

Friday Flip Offs Time

Hola dear readers and welcome to this weeks addition of Friday Flip Offs, brought to you by the great mind of Gigi over at Kludgy Mom. Not much to deal with this week, but here we go:

To people who show up late - and then slightly over-stay their welcome. I had plans to do other things tonight, things that i was looking forward to, but because you gave late notice of your impending arrival, and then managed to be an hour later than you said you were going to be, and then decided to stay for over an hour when your were only dropping something off - well it means i've had to miss out on something, put my baby to bed late and have only just had my dinner. Next time, try being on time or FLIP OFF!

To small children who dont understand " no " -  or " ssh, Amy is trying to get the baby to sleep " or " no, you cant sleepover tonight ". I still love you guys but you grate on my nerves just a teensy bit. My small duplex is not the same as your house out in the sticks, and i'd appreciate it if you used your indoor voices and didnt belt through my loungeroom as if it were the same as your backyard. If you cant do as i, or your parents, or anyone else asks you'll just have to FLIP OFF!

To my shoulder - i must have slept on you funny because you have been bugging me all day. Your all tender and tight and pinchy and it hurts when i throw my head back to chug the last of my Pepsi Max. That, my friend, is a problem. Promptly fix yourself during tonights sleep or FLIP OFF!

To the weather - could you please decide what it is that you are doing ? Or better yet, could you just hurry up and be spring already? We had a glimpse of spring weather the first two days of the week, and Flynny really enjoyed playing outside in his walker, and then you had to go and get all cold and yucky again. Kindly warm yourself up, bring out the sun and take back your morning frosts or FLIP OFF!

A Campaign Of Great Importance

Once in a blue moon there comes a campaign that, if enough people jump onboard, can change the world. This is one such campaign. This is an issue close to my heart, and i would appreciate if all my loyal followers would band with me and together we can....

Yes, thats right, together we can BAN JEGGINGS FOREVER! I care so much about this very important issue that i have even taken the time to create my very own campaign badge ( i dont know how to do the code so feel free to copy and paste that baby to your page ). Jeggings are a scourge on society and, united, we can rid ourselves of them.

Granted, the jeggings in those there photographs dont look too bad. However, bare in mind that those are professional models who are built like praying mantises and if it werent for this fact the jeggings would be horrid on them too. I do not understand the appeal of the jegging - we all know how much i hate leggings of the ordinary variety, but at least they are what they are. Jeggings are leggings dressed up as jeans - so if you want to wear tights ( that are so clearly NOT pants ) then choose leggings; if you want to wear jeans then choose yourself a nice pair of skinnies. Do not choose a hybrid ( hybrid cars on the other hand are ok by me ). It was enough seeing young women ( and more than a handful of old birds who should know better ) getting around in leggings, worn as pants, with all their imperfections and visible pantylines ( if we're lucky ) on show for all the world to see. Now i have to put up with jeggings, with their faux-denim look and painted on pockets? Ridiculous! Skinnies maybe form-fitting but at least they are a little more forgiving than jeggings.

So, people of the world unite! Pander to the jeggings market no more, and implore your pretty young friends to buy themselves a good pair of proper pants! Wear your gorgeous knee high boots over skinny jeans, and not over fake Spandex jean knock offs! And men out there, stop ogling teenage girls who run around town in their jeggings and Ugg boots - they are far too young and you are not helping the cause. If we work at it, together we can rid the planet of jeggings, and save our retinas from further damage.

BAN JEGGINGS FOREVER!!

More Friday Flip Offs

Welcome again to Friday Flip Offs, as envisioned by Gigi at KludgyMom. Join me as i get my weekly frusturations off my chest!

To whatever demons plague my son - i dont know whether its more teeth, or his eczema, his snuffly nose or what the hell is going on, but if his sleeping doesnt return to something resembling normal soon i may just go bonkers. I'm tired and i'm tired off having to fight him to sleep three or four times a day. My back aches, my ribs ache from holding him and rocking him and sleeping with an arm tossed over him, and i may just develop RSI in my wrist from all the patting thats been going on. So, to whatever it is that has taken him from sleeping through the night from 8 weeks old to now FLIP OFF!

To the Big W Toy Sale - i went through your catalogue, i chose the toys that would make the best presents for my son and neices and nephews....and then when i get to the store you only have 1 out of 8 in stock. Very. Freaking. Disappointing. I changed a few decisions but had my heart set on others, so i've put on a small layby with you and will now have to wait for the Target toy sale for the rest. For not having enough of sale items in stock you get a royal FLIP OFF!

To my el-cheapo Ugg boots - no, you are not the real Ugg branded thing, but you have seen me through some cold times. I really did love you once but now you are literally falling apart. If i scuff around the house in you much longer your soles will just completely fall off and i'll be left with my lower legs encased in fluffy warmth but with the bottom of my feet exposed. Its with a fond farewell and more than a bit of sadness i'm going to have to say FLIP OFF!

Friday Flip Offs - Again

Welcome back to another Friday Flip Off's, my chance to get my virtual rage on ( and without having to yell at my nearest and dearest ). Proudly brough to you by Gigi at KludgyMom.

To the Australia Labor Party - so you've given us a new Prime Minister, and our first female one at that. I'm so not impressed with the way you did it though. You've tainted the honor that Julia Gillard should have in being our first female PM and dont think you've managed to score my vote because you've dumped Kevin Rudd - i wasnt a fan of his by any means, but i would have liked to chance to have democratically voted him out. You know, like we're supposed to. So to your MP's and faceless powerbrokers who took away my right to vote, or not vote, for the person who runs my country ... FLIP OFF!

To the rash that has appeared on my sons back -  and his bum. I'm pretty sure you're only due to teething ( but i'm going to check with the doctor on Monday anyway ) and i dont think you're causing him any pain or trouble... but you look ugly. And itchy. And if you were on MY body you'd probably be driving me mad. So for the sake of my son having his gorgeous olive-y skin back, why dont you just FLIP OFF!

To mummy guilt - you got to me on Monday, well and truely. You made me cry, and then you made me feel bad that i'd cried. Basically, youir not nice and i dont need you in my life anymore. I'm a good mumma and thats all that needs be said. Take your horrible, nagging voice out of my head and FLIP OFF!

To all the bad drivers in my town - why is it that i'm the only person around here who knows how to drive? To the rest of you - stop pulling out in front of me and cutting me off; learn how to correctly use your indicators; know when you do, and dont, have right of way; and for the love of God, stop breaking the speed limit to go around me and then slowing down when you pull in front of me! You're driving me mental and probably contributing to the amount of swearing my son gets to hear everyday. Usually i'd use the other f-word but today you can just FLIP OFF!